I went through a bad depression and one thing that helped snap me out of it was my kids being afraid of me. I felt like a monster.

I put in a lot of work and one day my kid said “I’m not scared of you anymore” and that felt really great.

It sucks that your mom is dismissive of this rather than introspective but parents are flawed, broken people. I don’t know what else to say except that if she doesn’t get it you’ll be able to leave eventually.

I hope for your sake she takes your words to heart.