Because I keep overhearing my mom trying to do this stuff for my older brother so I’m just wondering about other cultures… (My family emigrated from China)
Like I constantly hear that topic being mentioned in the livingroom… like phone calls, WeChat voice messages…
My mom keeps telling my older brother to “lose weight” and like nagging him about stuff…
So yea, I can’t help but to also wonder about this aspect of life…
My parents are arrainged marrige… they just got introduced by… um… someone (as in family/friend got involved and arrainged for them to meet) then they talked and were okay with each other so they just settled down and got married… then my older brother and I came into existence…
So there’s that…
Also: Do people actually just use Dating Apps in the west? Like its a corpo algorithm… but then again having parents involved is also kinda weird ngl…
(Honestly this whole relationship stuff is just so foreign to me… in movies and tv, its almost always portrayed as a voluntary meet, not dating apps, not parent matchmaking… they just happened to bump into each other in the real world and then fall in love… and happily ever after…)
Edit: Also I heard my mom talking on WeChat trying to introduce someone that’s like I assume that’s her friend/acquaintance’s unmarried adult child to another of her friend/acquaintance’s adult child who is also unmarried…
It is culture. In most english native ares (this exclues India where english is a common second language) it is unheard of and people would rebel.
‘True love’ as in the movies only lasts a couple years. It is fun to be in but eventually you realize some truths about the other. From there is it can you live with it or not - which is why divorce is so high from those looking for it. True love as some couples who have been together for decads exists - but it is very different from the movies even if they sometimes seem to have a few features in common.
Arranged marriage and figure it out on your own exists in different parts. both are about equally successful for any long term definition of success. Shy people prefer arranged because they don’t have to risk rejection. Others like freedom to decide.
meeting others happens as part of life. The only hard part is you think maybe this can be more and the other not only disagrees but also refuses to be a friend anymore. It can be really hard - but eventually it can happens (and may or may not last)
So many generalisations and a complete lack of understanding of there being other valid ways of conducting a relationship beyond what you’ve experienced yourself or seen with your own eyes.
True love is like any other feature of a relationship, only as enduring as the health of that relationship. That takes work, communication, and many other aspects too numerous to list here. It is complex and not easy to define. But it can endure just fine.
If it makes you feel better to think that relationships based on true love don’t last, by all means continue in that fantasy. But it is a fantasy and I think it says more about your fear of what you’re missing as someone who’s likely stuck in an arranged relationship, or stuck in a culture where that is expected of you, than it does about how enduring true love can be.
True love as you defined it is not what true love as the movies show it looks like.
My mom dislikes crowds (e.g. NY Times Square New Years Eve)
My dad is a passive, mom is the dominant parent in my household…
Lol
Technically you can reject, but then parents would try to introduce you to more prospective spouses until you pick one… like this constant pressure, at least in their home country… diaspora experiances might differ
Arranged =/= Forced
You are not rejected, it is your parents. which makes is safer in some ways.