• stoy@lemmy.zip
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    8 months ago

    Funny, but what does the skin color have to do with the situation?

    • southsamurai@sh.itjust.works
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      8 months ago

      When a given demographic is a dominant presence in a given area (not necessarily work, it can be anything), there is a tendency for they demographic to start making assumptions about other demographics.

      In most places, men are the dominant presence, and in most of the “western” world, they will also be white.

      In this case, the individual who a white male was doing what’s called colloquially, “mansplaining”. He was correcting a woman when not only was the woman right, but was the very source he was using to correct her.

      This is a consistent and very unpleasant fact of the world that white men will treat anyone of any other demographic as less than equals.

      In this specific case, I suspect that the person making that post was pointing to the prejudice and stupidity of the person indirectly insulting her being a systemic issue arising from both gender and sexual entrenchment along with the privilege that allows the dominance of the white male demographic despite their being no quantifiable factor for that group to be dominant other than that privilege.

      She, in other words, was pointing out a systemic issue by using an anecdote. Which can be a bit difficult to accept as evidence. Or would be if there wasn’t a good century or so of giant piles of anecdotes from real people pointing to that systemic issue not only existing, but being something that holds everyone back.

      Truth? Yes, women and people of color are going to assume they’re right and whoever they’re talking to is wrong just like any humans will. But white dudes have been pulling that crap for multiple generations, and anyone that isn’t both white and male get sick of the bad behavior.

      • Melllvar@startrek.website
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        8 months ago

        When a given demographic is a dominant presence in a given area (not necessarily work, it can be anything), there is a tendency for they demographic to start making assumptions about other demographics.

        Isn’t she the one making assumptions, though? Specifically, the “prejudice and stupidity of the person indirectly insulting her” part? I mean, is that really the only possible explanation?

        • OftenWrong@startrek.website
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          8 months ago

          What other reason would you suggest as to why he would assume that he knows more than her or that she couldn’t be the person that he’s referring to? Clearly he didn’t even know her name yet so what did he have to go by to draw those conclusions? It obviously wasn’t her lack of knowledge on the subject that they were discussing now was it?

      • stoy@lemmy.zip
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        8 months ago

        I still don’t see why adding the skin color was important, but eh, I have other things to deal with, so I don’t really care, just found it slightly annoying.

        • h3rm17@sh.itjust.works
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          8 months ago

          Gender not important also, loads of women “mansplain”, it’s a problem with attitude, not gender or race

          • stoy@lemmy.zip
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            8 months ago

            Yep, I hate that word as well, but didn’t have the energy to post about it…

        • JoBo@feddit.uk
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          8 months ago

          Because the 'splaining phenomenon is about perceived but unearned superiority which leads the 'splainer to 'splain to someone who knows a great deal more than they do and, crucially, someone who the 'splainer ought to realise knows more than they do but doesn’t because of the illusion created by the society they live in.

          I’d have added “(born) middle-class” because that’s an important part of it too.

      • casual_turtle_stew_enjoyer@sh.itjust.works
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        8 months ago

        This is a consistent and very unpleasant fact of the world that white men will treat anyone of any other demographic as less than equals.

        Pls stop generalizing this bad behavior upon all white men. It only serves to further the divide, and is completely unfair and uncalled for against those in the demographic who don’t subscribe to those beliefs or patterns of behavior.

        I’m not sure if that was your intent, that’s just how it comes across and it makes it hard not to completely write off your argument/viewpoints for being unable to respect your neighbor.

        • southsamurai@sh.itjust.works
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          8 months ago

          I’m a white man. I can absolutely generalize about a well known aspect of reality. It isn’t in question that white men are currently in a position of overall privilege, and that as a group that position of privilege has the effect stated.

          I pretty much also said that this is true in the western world where white men are the supposed majority. I said that the same would be the case with any dominant group because humans are just like that.

          A generalization can not only be true in general, but it doesn’t inherently mean that the entire group is at fault (beyond any unintentional benefits from the situation, which is what’s called privilege in current discourse on matters of gender and race in specific, but applies to more than those alone).


          Here’s the thing. Until and unless we, not just as white men (speaking of the group I’m in) work on calling out and correcting bad behaviors as a group, to the point that it ceases to be a problem for others, we are part of the problem, no matter how little any individual likes that.

          Divisions currently exist. They will always exist because any time there is a place of authority/power, there will be those that seek it and use it. Over time, you might see a given demographic shift in and out of that place of power, but it won’t change humans being humans; there will be abuse of power.

          That’s the real key. The fact that white men have held dominance over most of the world for centuries (for a given value of most, and a given value of white) is simply fact. One could argue that the position of dominance really covers all the world since anyone wanting to disrupt that has to contend against that hierarchy. There are definitely places where, within a region* white men aren’t the dominant group, kinda impossible to be otherwise. But trying to pretend that the world isn’t the way it is is just silly.

          • casual_turtle_stew_enjoyer@sh.itjust.works
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            8 months ago

            Completely agree with your points. But also hope you can see it may be more fruitful to appear as though you’re ready to attack the problem, rather than your fellow man.

            I say this because I didn’t read this as an outright attack or denigration of your fellow man, but I very much fear how easily any other man may interpret it and how it could serve to further the divide and make the problem even harder to address. That is my chief concern.

            I appreciate you taking the time to clarify your position fellow internet stranger <3

            • SUPAVILLAIN@lemmygrad.ml
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              8 months ago

              rather than your fellow man.

              Imagine thinking anyone who actually has skin in the game is going to look at genocidal oppressors as “their fellow man” fucking lmao. Clown world kumbaya shit that will only end with the settler empire standing over unending hectares of the bodies of subjects-of-empire who got backstabbed and throat-slit by the settlers; while they still hold the knife.

              As long as the knife is still six inches in our back, it doesn’t matter that the settlers planted it twelve, and “graciously” drew it back six; the settlers haven’t done shit worth being regarded as “fellow man”. Really, haven’t done shit in general other than harm us.

        • worldofbirths@lemmy.world
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          8 months ago

          I think the generalization isn’t really about white men per se, but about the demographic in power. Give a group unchecked power long enough and they forget how that came to be. I agree that it’s not a rule, and maybe should be expressed as more of a heuristic: if you are speaking to someone that is in power, and you don’t look like them, they might think you are not empowered.

          Don’t let the lack of nuance in that statement take away from all the very valid points being made. The plight is real, and hopefully the white men who are enlightened enough to not confuse circumstance with natural order will read and know to not take it personally.

          • casual_turtle_stew_enjoyer@sh.itjust.works
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            8 months ago

            Thank you for the civil discussion.

            Completely agree about unchecked power and your interpretation of it as a heuristic rather than an ambiguously defined trait.

            I most certainly realize the plight is real and wish it never was like I’d hope all of us can say. But the lack of nuance struck me as dangerous. I understand how disenfranchised men will interpret things, and when people willfully neglect the opportunity to be concise it leaves a worrying amount of room for misinterpretation and effectively is ragebait that can serve to further entrench a misguided incel or the like into their toxic niche.

            And for anyone who thinks I’m overreacting: see how Reddit powermod awkward_the_turtle intentionally acted to provoke men, then wrote off everyone who took issue with it as inherently being member of the ideology they were allegedly targeting. Reddit, the company, enabled and encouraged this mod and their collaborators to attack users on their platform indiscriminately.

            If Lemmy is to serve as only a new platform for abuse, then it deserves to die with the rest of social media. Please, do not let it come to this. Discuss and debate civilly.

        • CileTheSane@lemmy.ca
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          8 months ago

          Are Black trans women known for this kind of behaviour? Are there apologists for Black trans women who make every effort to miss the fucking point that there are people who think this isn’t a thing that happens?

          • HopFlop@discuss.tchncs.de
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            8 months ago

            Nonody is “known” for that behaviour. You really just seem to ascribe personality traits to people based on their skin color. I thought we were long past that.

            • Stoneykins [any]@mander.xyz
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              8 months ago

              It is intentionally, intellectually dishonest and obtuse to pretend that condemnation of systemic problems resulting from unfair biases for/from certain demographics is as bad as the systemic problems in question.

          • Melllvar@startrek.website
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            8 months ago

            Are Black trans women known for this kind of behaviour?

            The question suggests that Black trans women are all alike. It’s exactly that kind of generalization that’s being criticized.

            • CileTheSane@lemmy.ca
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              8 months ago

              Nobody is saying all white men are like this, what they are saying that it is only white men who do this.

              Being a white man who is aware of the stereotype, I in no way feel attacked by it. I do feel aware that I need to be careful not to interrupt my colleagues or to mansplain things that I may be less knowledgeable about. This response from me is beneficial to both myself and the people I interact with.

                • CileTheSane@lemmy.ca
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                  8 months ago

                  “Mansplain” is derogatory.

                  I agree that it is derogatory to mansplain to someone, like to tell an expert in a subject that they don’t know what they’re talking about and thinking that’s okay because they are a woman.

          • summerof69@lemm.ee
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            8 months ago

            Are there apologists for Black trans women who make every effort to miss the fucking point

            Oh, don’t blame people. Don’t bring irrelevant details if you don’t want to distract them from the fucking point.

      • ashenblood@sh.itjust.works
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        8 months ago

        This is a consistent and very unpleasant fact of the world that white men will treat anyone of any other demographic as less than equals.

        Citation needed.

        In all seriousness, I understand your point and respect you for trying to deconstruct the mechanics of privilege.

        But I just factually disagree with your assertion. I would argue that every human being has an inherent preference for people that they perceive as similar to themselves in some way, and this can result in bias along racial or gender lines. However, this arguably applies less to white men than any other demographic, because such behavior is so consistently condemned and shamed when exhibited by white men.

        In contrast, people of other demographics are less frequently made aware of their own biases, because calling it out has not been construed as some kind of ethical imperative, as it has with white men.

        It’s also well documented that women have a much stronger in-group bias compared to men.

        In essence, women can be characterized as “If I am good and I am female, females are good,” whereas men can be characterized as “Even if I am good and I am male, men are not necessarily good.” This sex difference in cognitive balance suggests that a mechanism that promotes female preference in women does not similarly contribute to male preference for men.

        https://rutgerssocialcognitionlab.weebly.com/uploads/1/3/9/7/13979590/rudmangoodwin2004jpsp.pdf

        • OftenWrong@startrek.website
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          8 months ago

          Privilege is writing off your own privilege as inherent in nature and then pointing at other groups of people going “but they’re allowed it’s not fair!!!”

        • Squirrelanna@lemmynsfw.com
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          8 months ago

          This is news to me because I have been condescended to exponentially more as a decently passing white trans woman by cis white men in particular than I ever was before transition by ANYONE. Worst I ever got from black men was one calling me a “pretty thing” riding past on his bike. White men are getting the most push back as of late because they have historically been the worst offenders. And that hasn’t changed yet. That doesn’t mean the rest of us are free of guilt, but there is a very obvious frontrunner when it comes to unearned perceived self superiority, conscious or not.

    • thorbot@lemmy.world
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      8 months ago

      You can’t be racist against white, duh

      Edit: nobody realized this was sarcasm

    • AOCapitulator [they/them]@hexbear.net
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      8 months ago

      lemmy.zip

      Edit: this slap fight below this comment is the reason for this comment originally, that is why it was a joke to point out the instance, Thanks for demonstrating my point lol

              • stoy@lemmy.zip
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                8 months ago

                I get and accept that you may dislike me based on my comments in this thread, I am more confused as to what the lemmy.zip instance has done to dismiss it outright.

                • Adkml [he/him]@hexbear.net
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                  8 months ago

                  Because everybody makes the same shitty comments and it’s almost more tiring than anything.

                  If you so graciuosly “accept that we may dislike you” why can’t you understand we wouldn’t like people like you especially when it’s always the same tired bullshit from people like you.

                  • stoy@lemmy.zip
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                    8 months ago

                    why can’t you understand we wouldn’t like like people like you especially when it’s always the same tired bullshit from people like you.

                    Where did this come from?

                    I made one post annoyed about the skin color being complained about, I also noted that I hate the word “mansplaining”, the rest of my comments in this thread have been mostly fine.

                    So no, I don’t understand the intense dislike for me here, re read my comments and please see if I am so terrible.

    • jol@discuss.tchncs.de
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      8 months ago

      It’s a reminder than people that have always been in a privileged position often don’t realize they do.

    • It’s not obvious? Because white males as a demographic are the most privileged people on the planet and not coincidentally also the ones most prone to petty, oblivious arrogance, tantrum-throwing, and egotistical man-splaining. The latter was demonstrated by the one in this NASA scientist’s anecdote.

      • Dra@lemmy.zip
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        8 months ago

        This robs people of their individual context. The UK Prime Ministers wife is Indian and astonishingly privileged. You are suggesting a poor mine worker from Romania is somehow more privileged based on how he looks.

        Lumping people into loose categories (particularly based on skin colour) and then prescribing loose values to them is fascist and racist.

          • Dra@lemmy.zip
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            8 months ago

            I’m not deliberately mistinterpreting anything, if I don’t understand something, then explain it to me.

            Incredibly privileged of you to assume everyone else has your spoilt middle class educational background

            • Ho_Chi_Chungus [she/her]@hexbear.net
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              8 months ago

              Incredibly privileged of you to assume everyone else has your spoilt middle class educational background

              berdly-actually uhm, actually, it is in fact YOU who is the privileged one in this scenario, no I. check, and furthermore, mate

            • SUPAVILLAIN@lemmygrad.ml
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              8 months ago

              You’re posting to a niche reddit-clone that you only could’ve reliably found out about through either reddit, twitter, or mastodon. You have access to Google, you disingenuous twit.

              • Dra@lemmy.zip
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                8 months ago

                Not relevant, it’s not my job to Google your arguments that I don’t know exist. If you wish to correct me on something, please do!

                • SUPAVILLAIN@lemmygrad.ml
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                  8 months ago

                  LOOK IT THE FUCK UP WHEN YOU’RE CALLED ON FUNDAMENTALLY MISUNDERSTANDING SOMETHING RATHER THAN BEING A REDDITOR PEDANT, JESUS FUCKING CHRIST DO YOU NEED TYING YOUR SHOES EXPLAINED TO YOU THE SAME WAY???

                  Y’know what, since I can’t even trust you to do that right at this point, have a link for it! https://letmegooglethat.com/?q=intersectionalism

                  • Dra@lemmy.zip
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                    8 months ago

                    Getting emotional because you are impotent to communicate your thoughts on a topic isn’t condusive to anyone understanding your point of view.

                    Now, without being unstable or abusive, please try again

        • DinosaurThussy [they/them]@hexbear.net
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          8 months ago

          You are suggesting a poor mine worker from Romania is somehow more privileged based on how he looks.

          You misunderstand the concept of privilege. It’s not linear. Intersectionality was devised to solve this exact contradiction.

            • The_Jewish_Cuban [he/him]@hexbear.net
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              8 months ago

              Intersectionality is the idea that various forms of privilege and circumstance interact with each other to make an individual. Certain influences are more impactful upon a particular person’s circumstances, and thus influence privilege to a much greater extent. The non-linear nature that DinosaurThussy is talking about can better be shown with examples.

              If you’re homeless and white it’s clear that you’re in a worse off situation than a billionaire who is black. Class status has a far greater influence on this situation. It would be fair to say that the black billionaire has more privilege due to his class status but not his ethnic identity. That being said, it’s unlikely that the white man was denied a job due to his race in a way a homeless black person may be. Being poor and white and poor and black have many commonalities, but intersectional analysis allows us to understand the different ways and avenues that particular characteristics influences the ways that a person may end up in a particular circumstance.

              The idea continues on. A person who is a billionaire may be significantly shielded from a lot of racism, or face it in a less extreme way. For example, that proverbial black billionaire likely wouldn’t have many run ins with racist cops in impoverished neighborhoods. However, he still might face the unifying characteristic of being called a slur by his peers in the way that a poor black person might. His privilege of wealth may not complete inoculate him facing racism at all, even if he faces it in a less extreme way.

              In essence, this situation is viewing individuals dialectic-ly. It seeks to understand how all of a person’s identity and circumstances relate to the struggles and oppression certain groups or people may face in society.

              • Dra@lemmy.zip
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                8 months ago

                I empathise with most of this and thank you for bothering to respond without resorting to 4chan energy.

                The problem that remains unresolved is the refusal of some people to acknowledge that, like in science, observation is not without cost. What ends up happening is the observation of these trends then causes casualties of blame - in your example we could say the huge population of white people who dont fundamentally see black people in any light other than equal. An insult based on a black billionaire being a greedy billionaire gets called racially charged, when actually, it’s entirely class based. This reliably means that (for example) white working class boys/girls are left to rot.

                Personally I see most of these prejudicial issues being an exclusively American problem that has been exported abroad, to the extent now that its difficult to untangle.

                  • Dra@lemmy.zip
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                    8 months ago

                    America has prejudicial issues at astonishing levels compared to the rest of the developed world. Obviously its an absurd statement to say there is no predujude abroad in the western world, but the US has the controlling stake in it, and happens to be an infectious cultural juggernaut.

            • Adkml [he/him]@hexbear.net
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              8 months ago

              That poor mine worker is still in a better position than an otherwise identical minority would be in the same position.

              A poor mine worker is in a tough place but at least he wasn’t refused that job because the company doesn’t hire non white people.

              • Dra@lemmy.zip
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                8 months ago

                This exporting US culture shit has got to stop

                We aren’t talking about another mine worker. We are comparing 2 individuals with certain characteristics. You have instead decided to compare a third individual because the initial comparison made the concept break down

                Just because someone is a certain color does not prescribe to them any specific value judgement. As soon as you do that, one of those categories becomes the ongoing scapegoat for everyone’s problems, and it becomes fascist.

                • Adkml [he/him]@hexbear.net
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                  8 months ago

                  Does it ever occur to you that for your arguments to make sense you have to strip it of all context, historical perspecrive or material reality.

                  I literally didn’t say anything about the us. I’m saying that Romanian is still better off than a minority in Romania that got discriminated again.

                  Any more reasons for you to smugly ignore everything everybody is repeatedly telling you.

                  For people who complain about how rude we are and how we’re an echo chamber you’re being shown an incredible amount of patience for how unbearably obtuse you’re intentionally being.

    • blindsight@beehaw.org
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      8 months ago

      Did you drop a /s? This is a funny meme, so I’m assuming I just missed a joke.

      Right?

      (Speaking as a white male, white male entitlement, and privilege for that matter, are incredibly relevant to white men being sexist/racist.)

      (You can trust me on this because I’m a white male. Also, I’m used to my opinion being listened to, so I expect you to as well. Just FYI.)

    • cosmicrookie@lemmy.world
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      8 months ago

      Or even the gender?

      Edit: so… based on the downvotes this gets, its not OK for a male to interrupt but if it had been a female or other gender, then it would have been ok?

      • Specal@lemmy.world
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        8 months ago

        Male and Female aren’t genders, they’re Sex, Words used to describe biological makeup of a living creature, for example XX Chromosomes are Female, XY Chromosomes are Male, but there are also instances where XXY Chromosomes can happen, and things get a little tricky.

        Gender is what we use to tell children how to behave based on their genetalia and cause dysphoria in them when they don’t want to do something but will get ostracized for doing what people with the other genetalia do.

        • captainlezbian@lemmy.world
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          8 months ago

          There’s a lot more to sex than chromosomes. It’s probably better to say it’s clustering of positions on bimodal curves of traits. And even then you wind up with weird shit because biology really doesn’t like simple classifications. Like seriously there are so fucking many ways to be intersex and intersex people are downright common.

          But also grammatically male and female when used to refer to humans are generally just the adjectives for man and woman.

        • madcaesar@lemmy.world
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          8 months ago

          You know when the right looks at the left and calls us batshit? Your comment is shit they point to…

          • Specal@lemmy.world
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            8 months ago

            What’s batshit about it? As a society we do exactly that, we tell boys to like blue and girls to like pink.