No, it’s none of that. It’s that in my over four decades of life, I’ve never once lived up to my OWN potential, and despite trying my best, giving up, trying again, … countless times, I’ve still never managed to markedly improve my station in life, or my enjoyment of it.

I know I have everything I need to be capable, smart, confident person, but I’ve never BEEN any of those things, even fleetingly, so I can’t really even imagine how it would be like.

Pathethic, I know.