I know the best way would be to ask her but that would be even more awkward than asking here. For context I’m a man (she obviously a woman).

before leaving the room after having a conversation I give her a handshake, a normal businesslike shake like I do with every other employee, but each time I do that, she looks to the ground, smiles and shakes my hand using no force at all. It’s like she lets me take her hand.

To me this means she is scared of me, she smiles and lets me “take” her hand because she doesn’t want to look rude. I’m thinking about not shaking hands anymore.

has this ever happened to you?

  • HobbitFoot @thelemmy.clubEnglish
    2·
    1 day ago

    That’s a common handshake for some women. I wouldn’t take it as meaning anything special.

    I’ve also shook hands with other women who’ve had firm handshakes.

  • GeorgeGR@lemmy.world
    20·
    3 days ago

    Most likely this person doesn’t like having their hand shaken by you. It could be you or it could just be the shaking in general. Either way, if they’re showing obvious signs of discomfort, why continue the practice?

  • very_well_lost@lemmy.worldEnglish
    13·
    3 days ago

    She probably just thinks it’s weird.

    I’ve worked office jobs for two decades, and the only time I’ve ever initiated a handshake with someone is on the first time meeting them. Likewise, the only time anyone ever initiates a handshake with me is the first time meeting me… Anything more than that is extremely unusual in my experience.

    Do other people try to shake your hand at the end of every interaction, or are you always the one who initiates? If it’s the latter, then people probably just find it odd that you’re handing out (sorry) so many hand shakes.

  • communism@lemmy.ml
    4·
    2 days ago

    Does she also act this way around her women employees? She might just be like autistic or something. It’s not too weird to be awkward with physical contact or eye contact.

    If she only does this with men employees I also don’t think it’s too weird or something to take personally. It’s quite normal for women to be more distant/reserved with men, for various reasons but among them some men read into it if we act too familiar. Or some people are just awkward around the opposite gender in general.

  • Surenho@beehaw.org
    2·
    2 days ago

    You might think it is normal for you as you have the habit, but I know plenty of people that do not give handshakes or any form of physical contact. So it is a possibility that she might find it awkward and unnecessary, and so it catches her off guard. As others pointed out, thinking about why that happens is pointless and though you might wonder this to be thoughtful, it’s better to just wait for her to raise the hand instead of you. If she does not, then there’s no need.

  • Coskii@lemmy.blahaj.zone
    6·
    3 days ago

    It could mean a myriad of things. There’s no telling unless she actually wants to.

    Anything from “this person isn’t worth my effort” to “I want to appear smaller/weaker than them” are completely possible. You won’t know the truth… possibly ever. Even if you ask directly it’s entirely possible you won’t hear the truth. Stop thinking about it so much, and since you know that’s how it’s going to be, loosen up your handshakes a bit for her.

  • DearMoogle@lemmy.today
    5·
    3 days ago

    Am girl. I do firm handshakes myself so I think that’s weird and would probably not shake her hand anymore. Maybe she’s not into it, but either way it would save me from the awkward interaction lol

  • borokov@lemmy.world
    41·
    3 days ago

    Stop overthinking. Some people just don’t like physical contact. On the other hand, some people (like you maybe ?) really need contact in their social interaction. Diversity is not only about being gay or black 🤪

    Instead of handshake, maybe try a bump next time ? It’s less intrusive for her, and you still have the same kind of “validation” feeling than with handshake.