Every time I see that little red number in my inbox, my first thought is: Did I mess up? My brain jumps to the worst-case scenario—maybe I said something controversial, and now everyone’s correcting me and downvoting my stupid comments. Even though, most of the time, the messages are actually helpful and fun, that number still triggers some sort of insecurity and anxiety. The bigger it gets, the louder my worries grow.
Logically, I know I don’t screw up that often, and most feedback is neutral or even positive. But deep down, my insecure monkey brain panics at the thought of being wrong—or worse, publicly called out. Even when I’m right, the number still makes my stress levels spike up. What if people disagree with me? What if they don’t like what I wrote?
And yes, I see the irony in posting this. Writing about it is basically asking for it and feeding the very anxiety I’m trying to ignore. Maybe it’s my version of exposure therapy.
Not necessarily anxiety, but yeah usually my first thought is, “Oh shit, what ignorant thing did I say now?”
Yeah, anxiety is a pretty strong word, but feeling worried is what I’m really talking about. You know, that uncomfortable feeling that you may have said something wrong and you’re worried about what people might say. It’s in the the same general direction as anxiety, but nowhere near as extreme as actual clinical anxiety. Maybe “worrying for nothing” is a more fitting expression for this thing.