I made a similar post a couple of years ago, but I think it’s time again after seeing a few nice-guy/incel posts here. So, guys who have made it to the other side, what would you say to your previous self? I’ll leave my own personal answer in a comment below.
This is what makes it feel pretty unfair to me, because many people that’s just not their personality. What if the person I really want to be is someone pleasant to be around but MOST people wouldn’t really want to date? I.e. being really esoteric, being quieter, really standing up for what they believe in (to the point where it’s annoying for 99% of people), whatever.
I know many people like that and I’m like yeah this person is nice fun to be around and pretty cool, but they’re too extreme in one way or another. Don’t get me wrong they COULD still find someone, but if you’re weird/different then your pool is a little reduced, and if you don’t want to be the center of attention it’s reduced multiplicatively. It’s like them being nice and pleasant and being the best version of themselves is great, but it can still be really really difficult for them to find someone.