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Gaming (Mass Effect, Witcher, and too much Satisfactory)

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I live for 90s TV sitcoms

  • 44 Posts
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Joined 2 years ago
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Cake day: June 2nd, 2023

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  • For me, the best advice I ever heard was “Being nice isn’t a personality, it’s literally the bare minimum”.

    I always thought of myself as the “Nice Guy”, who just couldn’t ever find a girl to be with me. I didn’t understand it, I was funny, I was nice to girls, I did things like read books and watch intellectual movies, and so many stereotypes. I was single for most of high school and college and all the while I thought this.

    It got worse with message boards/Reddit, where I had other people convincing me that yeah, I’m right, it’s the women who are wrong. They don’t want nice guys anymore, they want bad guys, they don’t know what is best for them. This caused resentment and anger in me.

    In college I was lucky enough to meet some new friends that brought me out of this mindset, who sternly but lovingly told me that hey, maybe I wasn’t actually as nice as I thought I was. Maybe thinking that women only want bad guys and being upset no one wanted to date me was much more obvious then I let on, and the biggest gut punch that I think most nice guys need to here: Everyone knows you’re not being nice, you’re trying to manipulate them. Looking back, yeah I was, I was trying to be nice so they would want to be with me, not because I wanted to be nice.

    After that I worked on myself. Not the cliche hit the gym or anything, but just worked on being more pleasant to be around. Being more self aware. My sarcasm is funny - to people who I know get it and understand I’m being sarcastic, otherwise they probably think I’m an asshole. Just be nice to people and don’t expect anything, just be a good person. Work on my personality, nice isn’t a personality, build hobbies and things to talk about, and show interest in other people’s hobbies - genuinely.

    Which worked. By being less self absorbed and focused on getting a girlfriend, I became someone who was attractive, and not because I was buff or attractive physically, but because I was not exhausting to be around. I came out the other side a better person, and I hope others can too. Looking inward and having those hard conversations with yourself are not fun, but that’s life. Nothing in life comes easy, and working on yourself emotionally is one of the hardest, but also rewarding things you can do.





  • They said they were open to it but they had zero priority of doing it themselves, and essentially “submit a PR if you want it”. A shame really, their interface is great, and such an easy setup. If they implemented either xmpp or matrix I would switch immediately. All of my friends want a discord clone that “just” works, but no one wants to go to this server for this group and then login to that server for that group. They want a single-pane interface like what discord offers.

    Shortsighted to not implement that IMO.














  • Once business/product start dipping their hands into the How, “I know how to design this” you know you’re cooked on the team. That’s what got me too, some manager who had probably 6 months of coding experience and then went into management was trying to tell me with 12 years of experience how I should architect. They’ll constantly lie to you convincing you that you’re the wrong one, when you have all of that experience