For those weirdos like me who aren’t familiar with precambrian era sedimentation of precipitated iron oxide.

Barber. Someone didn’t go to cosmetology school.

“It’s always nice to get a customer who can appreciate the finer points of palaeoenvironmental conditions. I swear, some days I have clients without even the most basic epistemological awareness. Then again, I suppose someone needs to watch all that so-called reality TV they’re producing. Let’s get you all fixed up, hun.”