I, too, appreciate you doing this write-up. For my past, I have some decades under my belt, and I recognize that small talk accomplishes what you describe. My wanting to carry a “certificate” is precisely because small talk has never become natural to me, regardless of the (moderate) effort I’ve put in. It felt weird when I was a kid, and it’s continued to be so through all the years.
I’ve made some great friendships, and the ones that have lasted have been the folks who never really needed small talk from me. They get where I’m coming from, and (quite thoughtfully) most have done what they can to soften things when taking me into larger group settings.
Tangentially, it was quite later in my life than it should have been that I realized I almost never am the person to end a conversation, especially on the phone, barring for urgent matters or upcoming sppointments. I just stick in there doing my part until the other person has somewhere else to be, not because I’m enjoying myself, but because it never occurred to me that choosing to end the conversation for any reason other than actual need felt like I was breaking some protocol.
All this to say, it seems I missed the day in skills handouts when I was supposed to have a chance for any kind of knack at this. And I’m fine with that.
I, too, appreciate you doing this write-up. For my past, I have some decades under my belt, and I recognize that small talk accomplishes what you describe. My wanting to carry a “certificate” is precisely because small talk has never become natural to me, regardless of the (moderate) effort I’ve put in. It felt weird when I was a kid, and it’s continued to be so through all the years.
I’ve made some great friendships, and the ones that have lasted have been the folks who never really needed small talk from me. They get where I’m coming from, and (quite thoughtfully) most have done what they can to soften things when taking me into larger group settings.
Tangentially, it was quite later in my life than it should have been that I realized I almost never am the person to end a conversation, especially on the phone, barring for urgent matters or upcoming sppointments. I just stick in there doing my part until the other person has somewhere else to be, not because I’m enjoying myself, but because it never occurred to me that choosing to end the conversation for any reason other than actual need felt like I was breaking some protocol.
All this to say, it seems I missed the day in skills handouts when I was supposed to have a chance for any kind of knack at this. And I’m fine with that.