Here’s an Article on the survey I’ve been seeing referenced lately that shows among the population surveyed, men and women are reporting similar rates of loneliness.
As to why it’s being called the male loneliness epidemic, well, I have personal opinions on that. Mostly that problems affecting men are far more likely to get sympathy, attention, and funding. How many times are issues affecting primarily women just hand-waved away as less important?
Short Answer
imo the rise of loneliness effects both women & men about equally in terms of scope.
the push to strongly gender the ‘epidemic’ one way or the other is classic ragebait.
Longer Answer
Yes society currently seems to project an emotionally stunted image onto the male identity. but it’s important to note this is a sickness in current society rather than anything inherently “male”.
and it’s causing alot more suffering for all genders than just ‘loneliness’. calling it The male loneliness epidemic is just loaded with so many hooks, it’s just classic bait.
men vs women is “powerful” for ragebait because it’s literally half the population vs the other half.
Agree that there’s a ragebaiting, ‘us vs them’ component - however, I think how we’re socialised to handle our feelings also plays a big role here. There’s a disparity in suicide rates between men and women worldwide, but the gap is generally larger in western countries, 4:1 in Europe compared to world averages of 1.7:1. Of course, that isn’t necessarily attributable to loneliness, there’s many reasons someone chooses to take their own life.
In my life it seems like women generally have a more supportive relationship and support network with their friends than men do. I’ve had a pretty dark year due to a range of medical stuff… and it’s not a struggle I’ve shared with my friends, men or women. If I’ve brought it up, it’s just like I have here, ‘ah yeah, just some medical stuff, but things are shaping up,’ I don’t have close friends like that. I do, however, have supportive parents, siblings, cousins - I honestly don’t know what my headspace would be like if I didn’t have them. It’s very easy to feel broken.
I think the idea is that men don’t want to admit they have feelings and are lonely because that’s a weakness.
And US society reinforces that behavior by shaming men for being vulnerable or showing weakness and teaching others that a crying or otherwise emotionally vulnerable man is something deserving of shame and contempt.
A great example is online advice articles about handling relationship issues: so much advises that stoicism is the only option, otherwise your girlfriend/wife will lose their respect and attraction for you.
I had an ex-girlfriend mock me for crying during our breakup and know many men who have encountered similar shaming treatment from other men and women. It’s brutal.
Women absolutely have a role to play in toxic masculinity. Not to take accountability away from the social conditions that men ultimately created and propagated.
Stoicism teaches us to focus on what’s in our control by either reframing or accepting our emotions based on rational judgment. The goal is emotional resilience, not emotional suppression. Pop culture has redefined it as you describe.
Yeah from what I’ve seen its basically “I’ve tried nothing and I’m all out of ideas”.
These guys who read about alpha beta sigma crap, are sexist, misogynistic, completely clueless are then shocked that women don’t want to be around them. It requires introspection, which I don’t think many of them have.
Because women are socialized (and possibly genetically predisposed) to be better at building community and having many close relationships, often more physically intimate as well (touching, hugs etc). So men are less equipped to live alone.
I don’t know about many, but I can tell you I went ten miles out of my way today to see a friend I haven’t seen in a hot minute and get a hug.
Basically men are not equipped for drama
Aside from your dismissive comment. Perhaps the reason todays men are not equipped, is because of “traditional” or post war roles conditioned against emotional relationships with peers.
Society expects men to be “tough” and not show too many emotions. So men are less likely to have someone they can emotionally lean on and with whom they can talk about their feelings, even if they have many friends. Obviously it doesn’t mean that women can’t feel lonely. You wouldn’t go into a discussion about femicides and be like “Don’t men get murdered too? Wtf?”, right?
Who uses that term tho?
I think it’s used by progressives. So they might be blind to loneliness of women?Cause Incel logic…
