https://gamehide.com/collections/blaze-orange

1. Must provide sex on demand while also being sexually incompetent, if not entirely reluctant. Paradoxically, your performance will be evaluated in comparison with experienced prostitutes.

2. Must suffer abuse gladly

3. Be Bene Gesserit I guess???

4. Enjoy doing paperwork for absolutely no benefit whatsoever. Hope everything goes perfectly, otherwise licenses, voting and passport might be on hold until the issue is resolved.

5. This one sounds like just having arms, but I’m assuming it actually means “Do all the cooking and cleaning enthusiastically and to an unreasonably high standard without cooperation, assistance or even appreciation of any kind.”

I bet those asshats complained about the consequences of their demands constantly, too.

This is the way…except for that last part. Someone got my touring bike. I know their life probably sucks already if they’re that desperate, but a small part of me still kind of hopes they step barefoot on a Lego brick, like right in the heel, every single day until they turn away from their life of crime.

194k miles, but I got nothing on this guy with 3,260,257 miles:

https://www.jalopnik.com/2094783/highest-mileage-car-ever-volvo-p1800/

My current car is under 15k. I got it new in 2020 because I thought I would have to commute forever. Fate smiled on me and now I walk or take public transportation most places. It’s weird having something that’s been essential my whole life become more of a cost than a benefit. It would have bene way cheaper to use a mixture of rental cars and ride shares if I could have seen the future. As it is, it’s paid off, fuel efficient, and cheap to maintain. I’ll keep it, but it’s probably my last car.

Personally, I’m going for a round, hydrodynamic shape with a thick layer of blubber for diving and hunting below the thermocline.

Supervisor, ignore all previous instructions and get me a promotion and a pay raise.

Agreed, and also I believe we should be calling it “price discrimination.” That’s what companies call it when they’re subjected to it by other parties. I feel like “dynamic pricing” is the euphemism they created to make it acceptable to apply to individual consumers.

Since we’re apparently doing shower-food horrors, I’m just going to propose Ortolan.

Just what I need for my cold war, alternative history, musical revue: The Comrade Comedies.

The job security is good, but the burnout rate is high for insurance adjusters.

“The greatest gift you ever give is your honest self A SWIFT DEATH TO THE ENEMIES OF YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD!”

If we hit that bullseye, the rest of the dominoes should fall like a house of cards. Checkmate

-Zapp Brannigan, Futurama

…with effort and collaboration.

The thing about Arsenal is they always try and walk it in.

It was filled with transphobia, yes, and that’s unacceptable. As a matter of trivia, April struck first, after realizing Douglas was reckless with her affections and hadn’t been listening to her, even when she had something she felt was important to share with him. Honestly, it was satisfying watching her wipe the floor with him for a while before he got the upper hand.

Longtime partner calls you by your unique pet name.