I wish I were able to make a gif on my phone right now. You know the homer Simpson “mmmm, donuts” one?

“Mmm, painal”,

Two stories:

My mom was in a religious school for a few years, and her craziest story was sex Ed, which was mandated in the state at the time. The entire class was “take this shoebox home.” Literally no other instructions. The shoebox contained a mirror and nothing else. It was 20 years later before she realized what the mirror was for, because she wasn’t informed it was a sex Ed class.

ETA: the school was mixed gender, the classes were not. Girls had separate classes from boys. The mirror was for standing over and seeing that you do, indeed, have a vagina, and then gaining absolutely other information

I was homeschooled, but not in a religious way. My mom ordered the books the state told her to order. When we got them they were fine, until we got to the science module and it told us how ancient humans and dinosaurs lived side by side. … My mom immediately ordered different books.

It depends on if this alligator is in ecstasy or agony, I cannot tell.

But the answer to either: anal

I personally don’t use twitter, and for what it’s worth, I also don’t really consider it a meme. I just meant that the twitter screenshots have been used as memes and in meme communities since around that time, per my own experiences

35 year old man, and I have not only never received flowers, I have also not once in my entire life ever considered that someone would give me flowers at any point in my life.

If we’re using a descriptive model of linguistics, then I’d say about 2012 or so

I want to continue the joke, but honestly, that was the best reply possible and there is no way to top it

He’s such a good boy. He was my mom’s favorite child, she was his human. I’m the spare. Haha. When she passed last year, I didn’t think he’d make it, but honestly, he’s gotten me through this last year.

I’m not joking when I say this little boy is getting a quinceañero. He’s gonna have a frickin’ party

Fellow member of the Church of the Holy Weiner, I see! Salutations and glory to the Almighty Long Ones!

Maybe those, actually. Lemme ask Chatgpt to make sure

AI. There were no cameras back then

I have, in fact, been told I am a man of very little substance.

A friend and I were on a phone call and discovered the meaning to life. Absolute, certain, irrefutable meaning of life. There was no questioning it, no misunderstanding it.

It is gone. Neither of us can remember it. All we can remember is that the conversation started by me describing the “cloacal kiss,” the mating method of chickens.

Neither of us were high or drunk or (above normal) sleep deprived.

Good to know my phoboas are rooted in ancient fears

I mean… Is it harmful? Otherwise, protein!

What was the original?

Faith,

Please do not stop posting these. Please do not dump all of them into a single post.

You must continue to give us a steady trickle of these emails.

Please, Faith, continue at this pace, and then at the end give us a single post containing all of them, as a recap, in case we missed one.

Thank you, Faith

I’m fully aware that orangutans aren’t our closest relatives, and that our of Asia is pretty well debunked… But I swear to God, every time I see one of them fuckers I think “hello, grandfather! Teach me the ways of the forest!” Lol. I feel a kinship to them that I just don’t with other great apes (except maybe bonobos), and it makes me wish they were our closest relatives. … And also that I had some kind of scifi helmet I could give them to make them smarter and give them language so they could tell us to fuck off and leave their habitats alone

Okay, please someone explain this video to me. Is samir blind? Is this like, a test, to see if a blind man can drive with a navigator? Why is there a navigator telling him about medium lefts? Should a driver not be able to see a medium left coming up? What is happening here?

We think alike lol

My blog (terribly, terribly neglected) was called Aum My God, as it was about Dharma and related ideas