The FAQ got a chuckle out of me.

Is this a real distro?

• Yes.

Why?

• Yes.

That, and electricity being optional as a minimum spec.

No love for James? Fine, I’ll do it myself.

Here’s the clip, yw.

Jesuseth of Nazaretheth.

Ticketmaster

• Online fee: $73.27
• Convenience fee: $13.22
• Keyboard fee: $7.40
• Nickel and dime fee: $0.15
• Sponsor fee powered by Pepsi MAX: $23.83
• Satanic fee: $6.66
• H@X0R fee: $13.37
• CrAzY 8’s fee: $88.88
• It’s your lucky day! fee: $4.17
• Prime fee: $37.00
• Accountants told us we could do this fee: $21.66
• We hate fans fee: $51.96
• We also hate the band fee: $61.05
• Notices bulge fee: $OwO
• Oh and the venue can eat a dick fee: $20.80
• Asking you to buy insurance fee: $4.93
• We put your name in the Goblet of Fire fee: $3.82
• Free fee: $0.01
• Enter your birth year: 1979
• Good Smashing Pumpkins song fee: $19.79
• Your birth year divided by 100 fee: $19.79
• Neighbor fee: $1.32
• Weed fee: $4.20

Would you like to insure your ticket for $12.99?

☐ Yes, please! ☐ I would love to!

You must select one to continue.

That’s the lesson I learned with my credit cards. I took out a loan to pay them off and as soon as they were paid off, I closed them. The sugar is too sweet, and the goblin is ravenous. It’s too easy to use the credit card to acquire junk. Next thing you know, over 25% of your income is going toward credit cards, and you’ve got nothing to show for it.

I finally said fuck that shit. They need me more than I need them. It’s a shame the realization took so long.

The only way to win the game is to not play.

And you’re goddamned right.

Has the guy with the gun always had the Ohio flag on his sleeve?

Welp, I just learned something new and useful by logging into Lemmy at 1:30 AM.

Or, as I’ve recently taken to calling it, GNUSS plus Linussy

>be me, Gentoo user
>hear about this new pussy package
>will spend the next several hours compiling the pussy source code
>later virgins

Cleavage, dude.

Best part of driving a total bucket. You’re really scraping the bottom of the barrel carjacking me.

Nah, the pros know that it’s practice that keeps you at the top of your game.

Me, but with any fluid intake. That first morning drink of whatever, and my body is like, “We got liquid? Send 'er on outta here!”

I seem to remember John Hurt giving birth to a chestburster on video so I call bullshit.

My dogs sleep at least sixteen hours a day.

I gave 100% for the first maybe hour, then gave up on the rest of my day. So that averages out to like 12.5%.

At what point is a van so big that it’s a bus?

“What’s wrong, Doc?”

“Here’s your problem. She doesn’t have any toppings. No relish. No chili. Nothing. It’s no surprise she didn’t last a minute in Flavortown.”

“Damn it! I’ve been a fool!”