• PolarKraken@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    17 hours ago

    Here’s a fun way to learn about an American you just met. Take em to Waffle House!

    If they’re a judgmental asshole, never speak to them again, trust me. Let them get back to their $23 hamburger spot that charges for subpar ketchup they call “gourmet”.

    No one worth a moment of my time shits on Waffle House or feels uncomfortable there. Not one person.


    Whoops, forgot to say the other ways it’s fun to get to know someone. If they’ve never been, it’s a great neutral litmus test to see what they’re like.

    If they’ve been, they might have fun stories 😅 All my best friends have fun Waffle House stories.

    • remotedev@lemmy.ca
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      6 hours ago

      Hell I grew up in southern California and have wafflehouse stories from the handful of times I’ve been to one when visiting family in the south.

      • explodicle@sh.itjust.works
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        5 hours ago

        I live in SoCal but my coworkers and I frequently have to go to our Georgia branch. The Waffle House there has become legendary; we insist that all new hires visit on their first trip. You will level up at Waffle House.

  • brbposting@sh.itjust.works
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    22 hours ago

    I can tell you the license plate numbers of all six cars outside. I can tell you that our waitress is left-handed and the guy sitting up at the counter weighs two hundred and fifteen pounds and knows how to handle himself. I know the best place to look for a gun is the cab of the gray truck outside, and at this altitude, I can run flat out for a half mile before my hands start shaking. Now why would I know that? How can I know that and not know who I am?

  • scttgard@lemmy.world
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    19 hours ago

    Do not mess with Waffle House staff, they have seen some shit and you would just be encouraging them to release pent up frustrations.

    • Agent641@lemmy.world
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      11 hours ago

      I heard about a hostage situation at waffle house once. Except the staff were the hostage-takers.

  • tiramichu@sh.itjust.works
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    13 hours ago

    I watched a youtube a while back that posited a version of the Bourne Identity where we see the whole thing from Jason’s perspective only, learning things as he learns them, going on that journey with him. And it honestly feels like the version of the movie that should have been, but never was.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RdcSFsQRsnc

  • arrow74@lemmy.zip
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    1 day ago

    Looking for an exit?

    They’re all exactly the same. If you’ve been in a waffle house once you’ve been in them all

    • Assassassin@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      1 day ago

      Exactly. You enter, turn left, enter another door, and the counter is on your right. A thin woman in her 40’s that has definitely seen someone die tells you to sit wherever you want, and treats you significantly better than you deserve.

      • PolarKraken@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        19 hours ago

        Pure poetry. There aren’t many things to celebrate in the US anymore, but they’ll never take Waffle House from us. A true national treasure.

      • captainlezbian@lemmy.world
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        19 hours ago

        And then you treat that lady right, you thank her for your hash browns and your 2am coffee, and you enjoy your evening because this was the best choice of the night

  • blarghly@lemmy.world
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    1 day ago

    And then I’m ordering eggs and hash browns at 3 am, will proceed to drink 13 cups of bad, weak coffee with excessive amounts of cream and sugar, and I will like it

  • qevlarr@lemmy.world
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    1 day ago

    That movie is so fucking good, now I want to watch it again. Thanks for reminding me this masterpiece exists

    • PolarKraken@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      19 hours ago

      The fuck? Waffle House is a goddamn delight. Things occasionally go off the rails 2-3 AM or whatever thanks to rambunctious drunks. By and large it’s efficient, cheap, consistently delicious “greasy spoon” diner food. Made by competent folks who don’t take shit.

      Anthony Bourdain loved it, I mean really what more do ya need to know.

      • khannie@lemmy.world
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        18 hours ago

        Waffle House is definitely on my bucket list. Anywhere that isn’t rambunctious at those hours isn’t worth eating in at those hours.

  • captainlezbian@lemmy.world
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    19 hours ago

    Weak. You sit there and know the waitress has stabbed someone before and if you’re pleasant to her you’ll be fine.

    Fuck I miss waffle house. Used to go there after nights out all the time when I lived in their range