in my experience, nobody ever says anything when I’m dating a woman, so my queerness is only ever brought up if I’m single or dating a man. When I’m in a gay relationship, it’s just easier to say I’m gay. It’s like the only time I can be bisexual is when I’m single, and honestly I try to avoid that state as much as possible.
Nothing wrong with that. My wife is “straight” a lot for someone who is technically pansexual.
My gender is dependent on who I am sleeping with currently, when with men I am a man and when with women I am a woman when with non binary people I am non binary. I am planning on maximazing my gayness. Currently I am agender.
What gender are you when you’re sleeping alone in bed with nobody to warn you that you just slept through your alarm and are about to be catastrophically late for work?
Clearly Agender.
Like one of those fish who change gender based on what’s in demand?
Yeah
Life uh…finds a way…
Bro invented gay maxxing. I’m very unfortunatelly straight maxxing then against my will, despite wanting to be girl maxxing :(( (am a cis guy)

What’s stopping you from girl maxxing?
Mostly the evil toxic straight culture I’m surrounded by. Might be a different answer for them though
I’m a 35 yo gay man and I feel old reading that :) Also I believe the term describing all that and more is “queer”, which basically means “I’m gonna have fun” :-)
Love that
I mean, have you seen the way bisexual folks get treated?
- pIcK a sIdE
- bUt hE’Ll cHeAt!
- tHreEsUm?
is this some kind of bisexual erasure or is this actually fine
edit: here’s a paragraph from wikipedia that explains that I feel weird calling bisexual stuff gay:

As a certified bisexual I can confidently say that I feel pretty gay sometimes. Especially when I have gay thoughts or meet someone of the same sex that I find attractive. Idk, what’s wrong with calling things what they are?
Where can I get certification? I’d feel better if I had documentation to prove it.
Call up your local chapter of Gay Antifa, Inc.
Not erasure; it’s cool. At least, it’s not a deliberate act of self-erasure IME.
Here’s a few of the many reasons bi people sometimes call themselves “gay:”
- Simplicity: lots of people lack a mentally distinct category for bi and think of it as a subset of gay, so if you’re bi you learn to sometimes lean into it just to save time.
- The bi-cycle: it’s not unusual for bi folk to experience predominantly same-sex attraction for a while. So they might identify more often as gay for that time, especially if they’re in a same sex relationship.
- Brand recognition: bi doesn’t have the history that gay does in public discourse. We were usually just called gay. I’ve never heard a pundit talk about “the bi agenda” on daytime television, for example. So gay is sometimes preferred when we’re connecting with that lived experience.
Hope that helps ;)
It’s just easier to say gay than define what exactly you’re bi attraction is, especially when you’re highlighting experiences that are gay.
I mean, saying “I’m gay” takes less than half the syllables of “I’m bisexual”, I prefer the former whenever I’m pressed for time.
Do people not just shorten it to “I’m bi”? I don’t think I’ve ever encountered anyone who didn’t know what I was talking about.
That’s a fair point for sure, but there’s also just something about the way saying “gay” feels, versus “bi”. Not necessarily an emotional impact so much as, I guess, mouth feel?
Also, ruins the joke “hi bisexual, I’m dad”. It doesn’t roll off the tongue as nicely as the “hi gay, I’m dad”.
Heh









