Sounds like you’ve gone down tbe blackpill/incel rabbit hole, hopefully these videos might help. You should also at least read books such as cPTSD by Pete Walker if you’re not looking for therapy, which is for everyone.
I’m not in the fucking manosphere, I hate that machismo bullshit. And if being unable to get laid makes me worthless or lesser in your view, then you’re promoting toxic masculinity more than you realize.
Any time I express a shred of self-respect, people call me names like “incel,” “redpilled,” or whatever. Sorry, if you want me to be perpetually self-debasing to earn your approval then you can fuck off and I’ll continue to be a friendless recluse. I don’t care, I’m already used to it.
If telling my story and talking about the challenges I’ve faced means I’m “redpilled,” then everyone can fuck off. You can’t expect sympathy from me if I’ve never gotten sympathy from anyone else.
I’m tired of being gaslit that my problems don’t exist and that I’ve supposedly been brainwashed into believing in my own problems by a bunch of douchebag influencers who I don’t even listen to, who I despise as people and fundamentally disagree with philosophically. They’re the abusive assholes that I’m talking about.
No, you’re just angrily venting indistinguishable to someone who is, making up my position, and getting angry at what you made up. If that’s how you act when someone offers any sort of help than go ahead and ignore it.
I’m tired of being gaslit that my problems don’t exist and that I’ve supposedly been brainwashed into believing in my own problems by a bunch of douchebag influencers who I don’t even listen to, who I despise as people and fundamentally disagree with philosophically.
You’re not helping your case by telling people who actually get laid regularly “don’t be a cuck,” though. If you don’t want people to throw you in that handbasket, then maybe stop giving them reason to do so through the way you speak and present yourself? Then turning around and blaming them for it?
I mean, I definitely don’t feel like a cuck because a woman with serious issues that stemmed from trauma stopped talking to me (and later admitted to stalking me afterwards, wondering what I was up to), when I was dating someone new who was a better fit for me within six months (a beautiful punky redhead with a killer rack). Nevermind that this was also all 22 years ago for me. Nevermind that I’ve also never wanted to get married or have kids. She’s doing well now, has kids, is married to someone kind and loving, and I’m happy for her for that. I’m happy she worked through her trauma and didn’t keep going down the same path of submitting to abuse.
You’re giving people lots of people good reasons to make such assumptions and then you blame them for not knowing your personal history after some throwaway internet posts where you make some seriously misogynistic statements and aren’t initially giving your background. You don’t have to be steeped in machismo to be a misogynist, in fact it can be argued that the 4chan incel crowd feel the same, which is where all the talk about “Chads and Staceys” comes from, where they, like you feel not attractive, feel like they have bad social skills, and get angry at the world for not holding their hand like a baby through it instead of making an effort to do better themselves, even if it takes a long time, a lot of effort, a lot of pain, and a lot of rejection.
But as I said elsewhere, you obviously need help. We all need help. But you won’t be able to move forward until you accept help and accept your own part in how all this works instead of all the blame being on external factors and external actors. We absolutely play a part in how others perceive us and judge us, and we can’t always blame others for those rationally made judgments if we’re giving them good reasons to hold those judgments.
Whatever. I don’t have a case. Certainly not one that would benefit from any amount of help. I’m clearly past the threshold of being helpable, so what’s it matter? You’re just witnessing the off-venting of years of pent up cynicism. Don’t expect it to be prosocial or beneficial.
And I don’t know, maybe if society didn’t ostracize people for being unable to get laid then you wouldn’t end up with a large group of maladjusted angry miscreants forming an online community centered on their shared aspects of identity?
Maybe if “involuntary celibate” wasn’t an insult, then guys who don’t get laid would be able to get over it and adjust as regular members of society. But if they’re ostracized for it, and treated as if their worthiness as a person is somehow lesser because they don’t get laid, then maybe it’s not entirely their fault that they’re bitter and frustrated at the world?
If “vagina” is treated as social currency, then what the fuck do you expect to happen?
If “vagina” is treated as social currency, then what the fuck do you expect to happen?
The thing is here, you’re the only one seemingly holding it up as social currency. I think you really need to think about that. Because I have close friends who are asexual, they’re not and never have been driven by sex, and they’re some of the funniest, most thoughtful, most artistic, most pro-social people I have in my life. Genuinely one of my best friends has had one girlfriend in his life and has been celibate by choice since, and he is one of the most prolific artists I know and I wish he could get a foot in the door with his comedy writing, because I think his stuff should be on television or other media. I listen to the albums he has released regularly. He has a vibrant social life and many friends and literally no one cares that he has no interest in sex.
If you think “people who get laid” hold it up as a social currency, you’re the one who actually holds it as a currency.
I don’t hold it up as social currency, but just cause you can name some exceptions doesn’t mean the trend isn’t a big one. If it wasn’t treated as social currency, then why would “incel” even be an insult? “He fucks” is often left as a compliment on posts where someone says something cool. “You can’t even get your dick wet” is often said to people as a way to degrade them.
Maybe your social circle is healthier than the ones I grew up in and was exposed to in my early adulthood. Good for you and all your friends, I guess. When people found out I was a virgin when I was 18 (it was by choice at the time as I was abstinent until 19), they treated me like I was less than human.
And you think that doesn’t leave a long-term psychological impact that lasted deep into my twenties? “Oh no, gotta get laid so people will respect me.” Don’t act like it’s something I made up in my fucking head.
Asexual people often complain about society viewing them as lesser, different, or incomprehensible due to their disinterest in sex. Why would that be the case if society didn’t treat it like social currency?
Psychological studies have been done and shown that women tend to ascribe more subjective attractiveness to men who get laid. So it’s not even just men doing it to each other.
Incel is an insult because people like you make it your whole personality and are bitter sad sacks who make it the worlds problem instead of choosing to look inward. People give up and insult incels not because they can’t get laid, but because they make their whole lives about it instead of finding anything constructive to do with their time like my asexual friends do. If you think people actually make fun of incels because they don’t get laid and not that they fail to see how their shitty fucking attitudes is why they don’t get laid while latching on to anything to try to justify it except their own shit behavior and beliefs, you’re missing the forest for the trees.
Also, I didn’t get laid until I was 20. You are literally reaching for any, and I mean any, reason for this to not be your fault and to justify being bitter and angry and unlikeable.
I don’t make it my fucking personality. I’ve been made fun of throughout my adulthood for not getting consistently laid. Don’t gaslight me that it’s all in my head and that I’m just making it up.
I’m consistently rejected by society. Not even in terms of sex. That’s another problem, whenever I talk about being rejected by society people think I’m talking exclusively about sex. That’s indicative of their perception of the term “society.”
I don’t call myself an incel. But when other people call me that, it’s based in cruelty, vindictiveness, and a feeling of superiority. They enjoy having someone to talk down to because they’re getting laid and someone else isn’t. Stop acting like they’re actually morally superior because they’re well-adjusted, and that I deserve the hate because I’m bitter after a lifetime of ostracization.
People don’t fucking like me, and it’s as simple as that. It doesn’t matter what I do, because people have disliked me my entire life. I haven’t always been bitter, but there’s a reason I am now. And it’s not as simplistic as “because I don’t get laid.” I don’t fucking care if I get laid or not. But if I get treated as subhuman for not getting laid, that I have a problem with. Yet what I raise a concern about it, people say I’m acting “entitled to sex,” missing the point entirely and reducing it to a strawman.
It doesn’t matter what I fucking do, people have never liked me and they never will. It only makes sense that I’m bitter. Stop acting like my bitterness came first. You don’t even fucking know me. If I were to suddenly decide to be cheery, people still wouldn’t like me. They wouldn’t trust me either, because it would be obviously contrived.
Stop pretending I can simply choose not to be bitter.
Sounds like you’ve gone down tbe blackpill/incel rabbit hole, hopefully these videos might help. You should also at least read books such as cPTSD by Pete Walker if you’re not looking for therapy, which is for everyone.
Dating Advice that applies to everyone
Debunking the toxic manosphere
I’m not in the fucking manosphere, I hate that machismo bullshit. And if being unable to get laid makes me worthless or lesser in your view, then you’re promoting toxic masculinity more than you realize.
Any time I express a shred of self-respect, people call me names like “incel,” “redpilled,” or whatever. Sorry, if you want me to be perpetually self-debasing to earn your approval then you can fuck off and I’ll continue to be a friendless recluse. I don’t care, I’m already used to it.
If telling my story and talking about the challenges I’ve faced means I’m “redpilled,” then everyone can fuck off. You can’t expect sympathy from me if I’ve never gotten sympathy from anyone else.
I’m tired of being gaslit that my problems don’t exist and that I’ve supposedly been brainwashed into believing in my own problems by a bunch of douchebag influencers who I don’t even listen to, who I despise as people and fundamentally disagree with philosophically. They’re the abusive assholes that I’m talking about.
No, you’re just angrily venting indistinguishable to someone who is, making up my position, and getting angry at what you made up. If that’s how you act when someone offers any sort of help than go ahead and ignore it.
You’re not helping your case by telling people who actually get laid regularly “don’t be a cuck,” though. If you don’t want people to throw you in that handbasket, then maybe stop giving them reason to do so through the way you speak and present yourself? Then turning around and blaming them for it?
I mean, I definitely don’t feel like a cuck because a woman with serious issues that stemmed from trauma stopped talking to me (and later admitted to stalking me afterwards, wondering what I was up to), when I was dating someone new who was a better fit for me within six months (a beautiful punky redhead with a killer rack). Nevermind that this was also all 22 years ago for me. Nevermind that I’ve also never wanted to get married or have kids. She’s doing well now, has kids, is married to someone kind and loving, and I’m happy for her for that. I’m happy she worked through her trauma and didn’t keep going down the same path of submitting to abuse.
You’re giving people lots of people good reasons to make such assumptions and then you blame them for not knowing your personal history after some throwaway internet posts where you make some seriously misogynistic statements and aren’t initially giving your background. You don’t have to be steeped in machismo to be a misogynist, in fact it can be argued that the 4chan incel crowd feel the same, which is where all the talk about “Chads and Staceys” comes from, where they, like you feel not attractive, feel like they have bad social skills, and get angry at the world for not holding their hand like a baby through it instead of making an effort to do better themselves, even if it takes a long time, a lot of effort, a lot of pain, and a lot of rejection.
But as I said elsewhere, you obviously need help. We all need help. But you won’t be able to move forward until you accept help and accept your own part in how all this works instead of all the blame being on external factors and external actors. We absolutely play a part in how others perceive us and judge us, and we can’t always blame others for those rationally made judgments if we’re giving them good reasons to hold those judgments.
Whatever. I don’t have a case. Certainly not one that would benefit from any amount of help. I’m clearly past the threshold of being helpable, so what’s it matter? You’re just witnessing the off-venting of years of pent up cynicism. Don’t expect it to be prosocial or beneficial.
And I don’t know, maybe if society didn’t ostracize people for being unable to get laid then you wouldn’t end up with a large group of maladjusted angry miscreants forming an online community centered on their shared aspects of identity?
Maybe if “involuntary celibate” wasn’t an insult, then guys who don’t get laid would be able to get over it and adjust as regular members of society. But if they’re ostracized for it, and treated as if their worthiness as a person is somehow lesser because they don’t get laid, then maybe it’s not entirely their fault that they’re bitter and frustrated at the world?
If “vagina” is treated as social currency, then what the fuck do you expect to happen?
The thing is here, you’re the only one seemingly holding it up as social currency. I think you really need to think about that. Because I have close friends who are asexual, they’re not and never have been driven by sex, and they’re some of the funniest, most thoughtful, most artistic, most pro-social people I have in my life. Genuinely one of my best friends has had one girlfriend in his life and has been celibate by choice since, and he is one of the most prolific artists I know and I wish he could get a foot in the door with his comedy writing, because I think his stuff should be on television or other media. I listen to the albums he has released regularly. He has a vibrant social life and many friends and literally no one cares that he has no interest in sex.
If you think “people who get laid” hold it up as a social currency, you’re the one who actually holds it as a currency.
I don’t hold it up as social currency, but just cause you can name some exceptions doesn’t mean the trend isn’t a big one. If it wasn’t treated as social currency, then why would “incel” even be an insult? “He fucks” is often left as a compliment on posts where someone says something cool. “You can’t even get your dick wet” is often said to people as a way to degrade them.
Maybe your social circle is healthier than the ones I grew up in and was exposed to in my early adulthood. Good for you and all your friends, I guess. When people found out I was a virgin when I was 18 (it was by choice at the time as I was abstinent until 19), they treated me like I was less than human.
And you think that doesn’t leave a long-term psychological impact that lasted deep into my twenties? “Oh no, gotta get laid so people will respect me.” Don’t act like it’s something I made up in my fucking head.
Asexual people often complain about society viewing them as lesser, different, or incomprehensible due to their disinterest in sex. Why would that be the case if society didn’t treat it like social currency?
Psychological studies have been done and shown that women tend to ascribe more subjective attractiveness to men who get laid. So it’s not even just men doing it to each other.
Incel is an insult because people like you make it your whole personality and are bitter sad sacks who make it the worlds problem instead of choosing to look inward. People give up and insult incels not because they can’t get laid, but because they make their whole lives about it instead of finding anything constructive to do with their time like my asexual friends do. If you think people actually make fun of incels because they don’t get laid and not that they fail to see how their shitty fucking attitudes is why they don’t get laid while latching on to anything to try to justify it except their own shit behavior and beliefs, you’re missing the forest for the trees.
Also, I didn’t get laid until I was 20. You are literally reaching for any, and I mean any, reason for this to not be your fault and to justify being bitter and angry and unlikeable.
I don’t make it my fucking personality. I’ve been made fun of throughout my adulthood for not getting consistently laid. Don’t gaslight me that it’s all in my head and that I’m just making it up.
I’m consistently rejected by society. Not even in terms of sex. That’s another problem, whenever I talk about being rejected by society people think I’m talking exclusively about sex. That’s indicative of their perception of the term “society.”
I don’t call myself an incel. But when other people call me that, it’s based in cruelty, vindictiveness, and a feeling of superiority. They enjoy having someone to talk down to because they’re getting laid and someone else isn’t. Stop acting like they’re actually morally superior because they’re well-adjusted, and that I deserve the hate because I’m bitter after a lifetime of ostracization.
People don’t fucking like me, and it’s as simple as that. It doesn’t matter what I do, because people have disliked me my entire life. I haven’t always been bitter, but there’s a reason I am now. And it’s not as simplistic as “because I don’t get laid.” I don’t fucking care if I get laid or not. But if I get treated as subhuman for not getting laid, that I have a problem with. Yet what I raise a concern about it, people say I’m acting “entitled to sex,” missing the point entirely and reducing it to a strawman.
It doesn’t matter what I fucking do, people have never liked me and they never will. It only makes sense that I’m bitter. Stop acting like my bitterness came first. You don’t even fucking know me. If I were to suddenly decide to be cheery, people still wouldn’t like me. They wouldn’t trust me either, because it would be obviously contrived.
Stop pretending I can simply choose not to be bitter.
I’m not the one who is pretending. You do you, obviously no one will be able to break through that wall of self importance.
EDIT:
*Gestures broadly at this entire thread.
Sure looks like it from here.