Whatever. I don’t have a case. Certainly not one that would benefit from any amount of help. I’m clearly past the threshold of being helpable, so what’s it matter? You’re just witnessing the off-venting of years of pent up cynicism. Don’t expect it to be prosocial or beneficial.
And I don’t know, maybe if society didn’t ostracize people for being unable to get laid then you wouldn’t end up with a large group of maladjusted angry miscreants forming an online community centered on their shared aspects of identity?
Maybe if “involuntary celibate” wasn’t an insult, then guys who don’t get laid would be able to get over it and adjust as regular members of society. But if they’re ostracized for it, and treated as if their worthiness as a person is somehow lesser because they don’t get laid, then maybe it’s not entirely their fault that they’re bitter and frustrated at the world?
If “vagina” is treated as social currency, then what the fuck do you expect to happen?
If “vagina” is treated as social currency, then what the fuck do you expect to happen?
The thing is here, you’re the only one seemingly holding it up as social currency. I think you really need to think about that. Because I have close friends who are asexual, they’re not and never have been driven by sex, and they’re some of the funniest, most thoughtful, most artistic, most pro-social people I have in my life. Genuinely one of my best friends has had one girlfriend in his life and has been celibate by choice since, and he is one of the most prolific artists I know and I wish he could get a foot in the door with his comedy writing, because I think his stuff should be on television or other media. I listen to the albums he has released regularly. He has a vibrant social life and many friends and literally no one cares that he has no interest in sex.
If you think “people who get laid” hold it up as a social currency, you’re the one who actually holds it as a currency.
I don’t hold it up as social currency, but just cause you can name some exceptions doesn’t mean the trend isn’t a big one. If it wasn’t treated as social currency, then why would “incel” even be an insult? “He fucks” is often left as a compliment on posts where someone says something cool. “You can’t even get your dick wet” is often said to people as a way to degrade them.
Maybe your social circle is healthier than the ones I grew up in and was exposed to in my early adulthood. Good for you and all your friends, I guess. When people found out I was a virgin when I was 18 (it was by choice at the time as I was abstinent until 19), they treated me like I was less than human.
And you think that doesn’t leave a long-term psychological impact that lasted deep into my twenties? “Oh no, gotta get laid so people will respect me.” Don’t act like it’s something I made up in my fucking head.
Asexual people often complain about society viewing them as lesser, different, or incomprehensible due to their disinterest in sex. Why would that be the case if society didn’t treat it like social currency?
Psychological studies have been done and shown that women tend to ascribe more subjective attractiveness to men who get laid. So it’s not even just men doing it to each other.
Incel is an insult because people like you make it your whole personality and are bitter sad sacks who make it the worlds problem instead of choosing to look inward. People give up and insult incels not because they can’t get laid, but because they make their whole lives about it instead of finding anything constructive to do with their time like my asexual friends do. If you think people actually make fun of incels because they don’t get laid and not that they fail to see how their shitty fucking attitudes is why they don’t get laid while latching on to anything to try to justify it except their own shit behavior and beliefs, you’re missing the forest for the trees.
Also, I didn’t get laid until I was 20. You are literally reaching for any, and I mean any, reason for this to not be your fault and to justify being bitter and angry and unlikeable.
I don’t make it my fucking personality. I’ve been made fun of throughout my adulthood for not getting consistently laid. Don’t gaslight me that it’s all in my head and that I’m just making it up.
I’m consistently rejected by society. Not even in terms of sex. That’s another problem, whenever I talk about being rejected by society people think I’m talking exclusively about sex. That’s indicative of their perception of the term “society.”
I don’t call myself an incel. But when other people call me that, it’s based in cruelty, vindictiveness, and a feeling of superiority. They enjoy having someone to talk down to because they’re getting laid and someone else isn’t. Stop acting like they’re actually morally superior because they’re well-adjusted, and that I deserve the hate because I’m bitter after a lifetime of ostracization.
People don’t fucking like me, and it’s as simple as that. It doesn’t matter what I do, because people have disliked me my entire life. I haven’t always been bitter, but there’s a reason I am now. And it’s not as simplistic as “because I don’t get laid.” I don’t fucking care if I get laid or not. But if I get treated as subhuman for not getting laid, that I have a problem with. Yet what I raise a concern about it, people say I’m acting “entitled to sex,” missing the point entirely and reducing it to a strawman.
It doesn’t matter what I fucking do, people have never liked me and they never will. It only makes sense that I’m bitter. Stop acting like my bitterness came first. You don’t even fucking know me. If I were to suddenly decide to be cheery, people still wouldn’t like me. They wouldn’t trust me either, because it would be obviously contrived.
Stop pretending I can simply choose not to be bitter.
Once again, you whining that people don’t like you isn’t the same as caring about your civil rights dumbfuck. I gave you a lot of outs in this conversation, but your whiny bitch ass just wants to keep digging a deeper hole to prove how unlikable you are. Well, guess what, you succeeded, I officially don’t like you and think you suck. Not because you’re a bad person, but because you have zero self reflection and whine about lame shit when people tried to help you understand and do better.
Be happy, you got what you really wanted, people don’t like you. Good job, it’s a self fulfilling prophecy you fucking idiot. If the only thing you put out into the world is “no one likes me and everyone judges me” eventually, that’s all you’ll get from the world. You get out what you put in, and you’re obviously all too happy to put in “I want people to fucking hate me so I can be sad and bitter about it.”
At least you finally understand. It took you long enough to get it through your head. Now go look yourself in a mirror and see the monster lurking within, waiting for you to let your guard down long enough that it can break free.
Of course it’s a self-fulfilling prophecy. That’s how trauma works. A pattern was ingrained in my deep subconscious at an early age, and I’ve been reliving it on repeat ever since. Even if someone gives me a chance, I drive them away because it’s easier than building something on potential only to inevitably see it come crashing down. I don’t need the anxiety of constantly dreading when that might come. I don’t even try to build relationships anymore, because according to my cognitive conditioning it can only end in pain and disaster.
Whatever. I don’t have a case. Certainly not one that would benefit from any amount of help. I’m clearly past the threshold of being helpable, so what’s it matter? You’re just witnessing the off-venting of years of pent up cynicism. Don’t expect it to be prosocial or beneficial.
And I don’t know, maybe if society didn’t ostracize people for being unable to get laid then you wouldn’t end up with a large group of maladjusted angry miscreants forming an online community centered on their shared aspects of identity?
Maybe if “involuntary celibate” wasn’t an insult, then guys who don’t get laid would be able to get over it and adjust as regular members of society. But if they’re ostracized for it, and treated as if their worthiness as a person is somehow lesser because they don’t get laid, then maybe it’s not entirely their fault that they’re bitter and frustrated at the world?
If “vagina” is treated as social currency, then what the fuck do you expect to happen?
The thing is here, you’re the only one seemingly holding it up as social currency. I think you really need to think about that. Because I have close friends who are asexual, they’re not and never have been driven by sex, and they’re some of the funniest, most thoughtful, most artistic, most pro-social people I have in my life. Genuinely one of my best friends has had one girlfriend in his life and has been celibate by choice since, and he is one of the most prolific artists I know and I wish he could get a foot in the door with his comedy writing, because I think his stuff should be on television or other media. I listen to the albums he has released regularly. He has a vibrant social life and many friends and literally no one cares that he has no interest in sex.
If you think “people who get laid” hold it up as a social currency, you’re the one who actually holds it as a currency.
I don’t hold it up as social currency, but just cause you can name some exceptions doesn’t mean the trend isn’t a big one. If it wasn’t treated as social currency, then why would “incel” even be an insult? “He fucks” is often left as a compliment on posts where someone says something cool. “You can’t even get your dick wet” is often said to people as a way to degrade them.
Maybe your social circle is healthier than the ones I grew up in and was exposed to in my early adulthood. Good for you and all your friends, I guess. When people found out I was a virgin when I was 18 (it was by choice at the time as I was abstinent until 19), they treated me like I was less than human.
And you think that doesn’t leave a long-term psychological impact that lasted deep into my twenties? “Oh no, gotta get laid so people will respect me.” Don’t act like it’s something I made up in my fucking head.
Asexual people often complain about society viewing them as lesser, different, or incomprehensible due to their disinterest in sex. Why would that be the case if society didn’t treat it like social currency?
Psychological studies have been done and shown that women tend to ascribe more subjective attractiveness to men who get laid. So it’s not even just men doing it to each other.
Incel is an insult because people like you make it your whole personality and are bitter sad sacks who make it the worlds problem instead of choosing to look inward. People give up and insult incels not because they can’t get laid, but because they make their whole lives about it instead of finding anything constructive to do with their time like my asexual friends do. If you think people actually make fun of incels because they don’t get laid and not that they fail to see how their shitty fucking attitudes is why they don’t get laid while latching on to anything to try to justify it except their own shit behavior and beliefs, you’re missing the forest for the trees.
Also, I didn’t get laid until I was 20. You are literally reaching for any, and I mean any, reason for this to not be your fault and to justify being bitter and angry and unlikeable.
I don’t make it my fucking personality. I’ve been made fun of throughout my adulthood for not getting consistently laid. Don’t gaslight me that it’s all in my head and that I’m just making it up.
I’m consistently rejected by society. Not even in terms of sex. That’s another problem, whenever I talk about being rejected by society people think I’m talking exclusively about sex. That’s indicative of their perception of the term “society.”
I don’t call myself an incel. But when other people call me that, it’s based in cruelty, vindictiveness, and a feeling of superiority. They enjoy having someone to talk down to because they’re getting laid and someone else isn’t. Stop acting like they’re actually morally superior because they’re well-adjusted, and that I deserve the hate because I’m bitter after a lifetime of ostracization.
People don’t fucking like me, and it’s as simple as that. It doesn’t matter what I do, because people have disliked me my entire life. I haven’t always been bitter, but there’s a reason I am now. And it’s not as simplistic as “because I don’t get laid.” I don’t fucking care if I get laid or not. But if I get treated as subhuman for not getting laid, that I have a problem with. Yet what I raise a concern about it, people say I’m acting “entitled to sex,” missing the point entirely and reducing it to a strawman.
It doesn’t matter what I fucking do, people have never liked me and they never will. It only makes sense that I’m bitter. Stop acting like my bitterness came first. You don’t even fucking know me. If I were to suddenly decide to be cheery, people still wouldn’t like me. They wouldn’t trust me either, because it would be obviously contrived.
Stop pretending I can simply choose not to be bitter.
I’m not the one who is pretending. You do you, obviously no one will be able to break through that wall of self importance.
EDIT:
*Gestures broadly at this entire thread.
Sure looks like it from here.
Apparently giving a shit about my own problems is “self-importance.” Let’s see how that scales to the general populace…
Once again, you whining that people don’t like you isn’t the same as caring about your civil rights dumbfuck. I gave you a lot of outs in this conversation, but your whiny bitch ass just wants to keep digging a deeper hole to prove how unlikable you are. Well, guess what, you succeeded, I officially don’t like you and think you suck. Not because you’re a bad person, but because you have zero self reflection and whine about lame shit when people tried to help you understand and do better.
Be happy, you got what you really wanted, people don’t like you. Good job, it’s a self fulfilling prophecy you fucking idiot. If the only thing you put out into the world is “no one likes me and everyone judges me” eventually, that’s all you’ll get from the world. You get out what you put in, and you’re obviously all too happy to put in “I want people to fucking hate me so I can be sad and bitter about it.”
At least you finally understand. It took you long enough to get it through your head. Now go look yourself in a mirror and see the monster lurking within, waiting for you to let your guard down long enough that it can break free.
Of course it’s a self-fulfilling prophecy. That’s how trauma works. A pattern was ingrained in my deep subconscious at an early age, and I’ve been reliving it on repeat ever since. Even if someone gives me a chance, I drive them away because it’s easier than building something on potential only to inevitably see it come crashing down. I don’t need the anxiety of constantly dreading when that might come. I don’t even try to build relationships anymore, because according to my cognitive conditioning it can only end in pain and disaster.