I can tell. I tried to be supportive and understanding here instead of just ragging on you, which I definitely could have. You have rejected it out of hand with excuses of why it just makes sense for you to be bitter and hateful. I don’t know what else to tell you. That’s on you.
Also, I definitely don’t think I’m the exception rather than the rule considering how many men I know who have had similar traumas and are also well adjusted adults who don’t blame the whole world for their problems.
If people can’t blame the world for their problems, then why the fuck should any of us care about systemic oppression? It’s the same logic. Blame the people who suffer for their own conditions.
If my problems don’t matter, then no one’s do. Or am I some special exception where everyone else’s problems matter except mine?
It’s absolutely not the same logic. You not being able to get loving people in your life as an individual because of a bad attitude and outlook is not in any way the same as systemic oppression. You are not being systemically oppressed because your shitty outlook and attitude makes you not likeable. You not having people who like you in your life is not anything like people being kidnapped in the streets for being the wrong race or having the wrong politics, being denied legal counsel, food, water, or reasonable living facilities and then being disappeared to a country they’ve never been to. The comparison is honestly laughable.
You’re desperately looking for any way to justify being an angry bitter sad sack. I don’t know what to tell you.
It’s the first one, I promise. The second one is just the excuse you give yourself. It’s a choice you’re making to be bitter and unlikable, as much as you want to pretend it’s not.
Okay, then I’ll go back in time and tell my five-year-old self that it’s actually my fault that I’m being picked on, that I’m just genuinely unlikeable and need to stop being bitter.
Maybe then I’ll earn my dad’s approval, and everyone who’s taken advantage of me, bullied me, or treated me like a pushover ever since will magically respect me.
You’re an adult, and you don’t change it by telling your child self that, you change it by having some fucking self respect and not blaming every person who has mistreated you for why you should never trust or be kind to anyone else ever. Your own inability to accept your own lack of boundaries when it comes to being taken advantage of or treated like a pushover is evidence of that. I’ve been hurt too, but I also see when I made mistakes, didn’t set clear boundaries, and how that impacted the situations a great deal. I have also seen when my own bad attitude has led people to dislike me, and so I dropped the bad attitude, because it hurt me more than helped me, and honestly, I’m much happier for it. You really ought to try it sometime.
So if I have weak boundaries and let people take advantage of me, then it’s my fault and I can’t blame others?
But when a woman has weak boundaries and gets taken advantage of, it’s not her fault and she can blame men as a whole and take it out on men who had nothing to do with it?
Do you not see the double-standard here? Doesn’t that reinforce gender stereotypes where “Men just need to take it on the chin, be a man, be tough. You’re responsible for your own destiny. Not women though, they’re subject to conditions and don’t have any agency or control over their lives.”?
Whenever I point this out, people get upset. As if I’m the one advocating for the stereotype. I’m not. I’m pointing out how it endures in the common mentality that we’re discussing here.
That’s odd because out here in the real world people absolutely let women know that it’s their own lack of boundaries that led to being taken advantage of, and nobody gets upset because no one is being a petulant ill tempered dick about it when they do so. You are literally living in a fantasy land you’ve built for yourself so you don’t have to face your own shitty attitude being part of this.
I can tell. I tried to be supportive and understanding here instead of just ragging on you, which I definitely could have. You have rejected it out of hand with excuses of why it just makes sense for you to be bitter and hateful. I don’t know what else to tell you. That’s on you.
Also, I definitely don’t think I’m the exception rather than the rule considering how many men I know who have had similar traumas and are also well adjusted adults who don’t blame the whole world for their problems.
If people can’t blame the world for their problems, then why the fuck should any of us care about systemic oppression? It’s the same logic. Blame the people who suffer for their own conditions.
If my problems don’t matter, then no one’s do. Or am I some special exception where everyone else’s problems matter except mine?
It’s absolutely not the same logic. You not being able to get loving people in your life as an individual because of a bad attitude and outlook is not in any way the same as systemic oppression. You are not being systemically oppressed because your shitty outlook and attitude makes you not likeable. You not having people who like you in your life is not anything like people being kidnapped in the streets for being the wrong race or having the wrong politics, being denied legal counsel, food, water, or reasonable living facilities and then being disappeared to a country they’ve never been to. The comparison is honestly laughable.
You’re desperately looking for any way to justify being an angry bitter sad sack. I don’t know what to tell you.
Am I unlikeable because I’m bitter or am I bitter because I’m unlikeable?
It’s the first one, I promise. The second one is just the excuse you give yourself. It’s a choice you’re making to be bitter and unlikable, as much as you want to pretend it’s not.
Okay, then I’ll go back in time and tell my five-year-old self that it’s actually my fault that I’m being picked on, that I’m just genuinely unlikeable and need to stop being bitter.
Maybe then I’ll earn my dad’s approval, and everyone who’s taken advantage of me, bullied me, or treated me like a pushover ever since will magically respect me.
You’re an adult, and you don’t change it by telling your child self that, you change it by having some fucking self respect and not blaming every person who has mistreated you for why you should never trust or be kind to anyone else ever. Your own inability to accept your own lack of boundaries when it comes to being taken advantage of or treated like a pushover is evidence of that. I’ve been hurt too, but I also see when I made mistakes, didn’t set clear boundaries, and how that impacted the situations a great deal. I have also seen when my own bad attitude has led people to dislike me, and so I dropped the bad attitude, because it hurt me more than helped me, and honestly, I’m much happier for it. You really ought to try it sometime.
So if I have weak boundaries and let people take advantage of me, then it’s my fault and I can’t blame others?
But when a woman has weak boundaries and gets taken advantage of, it’s not her fault and she can blame men as a whole and take it out on men who had nothing to do with it?
Do you not see the double-standard here? Doesn’t that reinforce gender stereotypes where “Men just need to take it on the chin, be a man, be tough. You’re responsible for your own destiny. Not women though, they’re subject to conditions and don’t have any agency or control over their lives.”?
Whenever I point this out, people get upset. As if I’m the one advocating for the stereotype. I’m not. I’m pointing out how it endures in the common mentality that we’re discussing here.
That’s odd because out here in the real world people absolutely let women know that it’s their own lack of boundaries that led to being taken advantage of, and nobody gets upset because no one is being a petulant ill tempered dick about it when they do so. You are literally living in a fantasy land you’ve built for yourself so you don’t have to face your own shitty attitude being part of this.