I did, but that was because a head injury deleted my entire childhood and most of my vocabulary. Without it I realized I didn’t really know why I was the way I was but I knew I didn’t like it.

I’ve since regained most of it through first hand account and journals that I don’t recall writing but were in my hand. However, there are a lot if accounts that differ between journals and testimonies. Coupled with a good deal of paranoia in the writing, I believe a few of my journals were false narratives to throw off snooping. So I’m still not entirely convinced of my own past.

Ultimately, I decided to embrace it. I can be who I want to be and what I was ain’t it.