No, although as a child I told myself to remember how this part of my life felt like since many adults really don’t seem to remember it at all and raise their kids in ways that they themselves would not have liked to be raised in, mostly passing on traumas that they got from their parents.
However nowadays I can understand why that is. After you become an adult there is just so much more stuff you have to deal with that you kind of have to forget a lot from your younger years.
I did, but that was because a head injury deleted my entire childhood and most of my vocabulary. Without it I realized I didn’t really know why I was the way I was but I knew I didn’t like it.
I’ve since regained most of it through first hand account and journals that I don’t recall writing but were in my hand. However, there are a lot if accounts that differ between journals and testimonies. Coupled with a good deal of paranoia in the writing, I believe a few of my journals were false narratives to throw off snooping. So I’m still not entirely convinced of my own past.
Ultimately, I decided to embrace it. I can be who I want to be and what I was ain’t it.
No? I didn’t have a bad childhood, and I’m sure there’s lots of memories that were made, but they’re long gone. We grow, learn, and evolve. Memories mold us into who we are now, and while it’s good to have important memories documented for recollection (such as keeping a journal), the majority of life is mundane or repeating tasks so those memories are ‘overwritten’ (so to speak) with more recent and relevant memories.
It’s generally strong emotional moments that we remember best. Lots of people in the comments talking about remembering their trauma. I vividly remember my spankings, and my brother dragging my arm across a car window edge, and other bad things.
But I also remember the good times. Going on vacations, spending time with extended family, hobbies I enjoyed as a kid.
Comparing the amount of memories I have from being a kid to now though, my childhood memories are just a distant thought at this point.
No; although, the childhood memories I didn’t remember are from when I was sexually assaulted as a child and about a year afterward.
I suspect many people in this thread also have trauma they don’t want to talk about, which is fair. Talking about these things, even in a pseudo-anonymous capacity, can leave one vulnerable to trolls and other insensitive people. This is where talking with a therapist can really help as there is reduced risk of someone using your trauma to cause further harm.
I suffered a serious head injury and have amnesia. I don’t remember the vast majority of my childhood and what I do is just bits and pieces. By the time I had fully recovered from the injury, I was totally used to just not remembering things. In hindsight and therapy, there are a few things about my memory loss that bother me.
Overall though I’ve just accepted that remembering just isn’t all that important. You are who you are today. Memories may explain why you are the way you are or they might not. I just try to live the present and work towards the future. It’s freeing to live without the grudges, spite, or resentment of the past.
I don’t remember any trauma happening but I’m just like you… bad memory all around. very little memories of childhood and teenage, or really in general
one thing I found out is I have aphantasia so I wonder if you’ve got that too
No, I’d say I’m actually a pretty bubbly and cheerful person most of the time. For a while I did feel pretty empty and blank, I would describe the feeling as “sterile”. Just kinda absent of stimulus and variety of emotion. I’ve gone through a long and difficult arc of figuring myself out though. Two years ago I had a breakthrough and have been getting happier as time goes on.
aphantasia Is when you can’t form pictures in your mind, I’m wondering if there’s a link
oh duh, I though it was the no happiness thing lol. Yeah, I’m almost incapable of forming mental images. I can kinda build an image by adding details, but they fade quickly. So I have to essentially keep re-adding details rapidly to sustain the image. So the images are imprecise and constantly changing. It’s like looking at a kinda rough sketchy animation. It takes a lot of concentration to do too, so most of the time I have no images in my head.
yea, that is aphantasia, I wonder if that’s a common trait when it comes to bad memory
No… i don’t remember the vast majority of my life, neither does anyone else.
What do we count as “don’t remember”?
I get that we can’t remember every detail of everything that’s ever happened, but generally, I can remember what a typical day was like for pretty much every year I was alive (not counting the first few). A lot of those memories are repetitive or dull, so we kind of bunch them all together, but even things I’ve forgotten, if some one says remember when… I’ll typically be able to recall some bits of the story.
My wife on the other hand literally couldn’t tell you who most of her grade school teachers were because she’s trauma blocked most of her childhood.
What do you count it as…
2000 through 2010 Was a great decade for my wife and I, I got out of the military in 2000. We got great jobs. We bought our first house. We moved into a wonderful neighborhood and we used to spend every Friday evenings at the neighborhood pool. It was 2 to 3 families we get together every Friday and hang out. I know we did it for about three years and minus a couple significant events… When an umbrella fell in the pool when one of the kids cut his chin this Friday nights are just blurred to me, but I know they happened and I know they were great.
No. Forgetting is a normal human process. Even displacement can be necessary and healthy.
Also don’t look for ways to blame yourself for being a human being.
There’s a lot of things others insist have happened but I don’t remember. There’s also a lot of things I do remember and wish I didn’t.
Not remembering doesn’t bother me at all, the remembering thing bothers me quite a bit.
My DNA donors like to insist that they did “so many nice things” for me as a kid… Funny thing though, i only seem to remember the “Dad’s in a bad mood” beatings, the “you don’t need glasses, you’re just being dramatic” gaslighting to keep me blind for my first 17 years.
There’s more, but enough trauma dumping for today
Sounds like a classic case of raised by narcissists (etc)? They tend to only remember the good, while you only remember the bad.
Annoying how that works out. And when I say annoying, I mean infuriating.
The only thing i truly miss about Reddit was Doom scrolling the raised by narcissists sub
Edit: I just remembered a quote that your reply reminded me of; The axe doesn’t remember every swing, but the tree remembers every cut.
Nah. I have an identity crisis for totally different reasons beyond my control due to mental illness that currently has no treatment.
No.
Remembering every excruciating detail of childhood would probably be quite traumatic.
I remember snippets and feelings from being a child/teenager.
No. I’d suggest seeking professional help.
bro what the heck is your profile
Don’t worry about it.
Nobody ever reads profiles so it doen’t matter what goes on there.
I remember very little of childhood and teenage years … so I’m kinda used to it.
No, I learnt to not trust human memory early on so I don’t feel that attached to my memories.
No
