Now you got something wrong there. One can very much obey the commandments, but for me the possible existence of a god isn’t a good enough reason.

I obey societal rules if they align with my sense of morality, not because somebody demands them of me. My motivation comes intrinsically, not extrinsically. I was treated VERY badly and had a TON of shit happen to me. This has shown me that I want to be somebody who is good to people in general, as I do not want others to suffer as I have suffered.

I get why shit that happens tends to get people to believe in a higher power, as they lack other explanations. I on the other hand have a more scientific (for lack of a better word) approach:

Our planet and the universe is driven by collision upon collision, the earth has been hit by meteor after meteor and the surface has been re-formed repeatedly by volcanos. All of which is pretty random but follows certain rules that humanity has yet to fully figure out.

Humanity is no different. There are billions of us out there and looking back there have been such an enormous amount of people, it is unfathomably. We all interact with lots of different people who all have their own history, society is as complex as it gets.

Now take these two together: A planet that creates an ever-changing environment for an enormous amount of people. Like Murphy’s law states, what can happen will happen. Even if it seems ever so unlikely.

Our human brains tend to see structure where there is none. To me, thinkung up a god or several gods is humanitys way of coping with all this, to make sense of all the chaos. And that is not a bad thing. However, it is ever so often misused to mistreat people and have an excuse or salvation afterwards.

Edit: Upon re-reading your comment, you perfectly showcase something else.

And not to mention the entire feeling "there must be a God, just look at the beauties of life, even if your life is miserable, like mine.

This is a prime example of confirmation bias. You want or better NEED to believe in something, so you welcome any “sign” that points towards confirming your belief. Again, I do not care about your faith, everybody is free to have their own version of the truth, however I feel it is important that we reflect upon our foundation of thoughts, as otherwise we can never improve ourselves, and wouldn’t that just be sad to be stuck in the same pattern for our whole lives and not being open to new experiences and maybe through those a new view on life?