I want incredibly mundane insults like “you look like you have a terrible handshake.”
My absolute favorite…
You’re not pretty enough to be that dumb
I once said stop acting like you’re beautiful
You’re not good looking enough to be that much of a narcissist.
I was playing TF2 the other day and someone senta message in chat that was just a link to a state unemployement benefits page lmao.
Not sure if this qualifies but I always liked the countryness of “so stupid they couldn’t pour piss out of a boot if the instructions were written on the heel”.
“The young gentleman is an excellent ration powered space heater.”
Heard this back in basic for a young officer cadet who was absolutely useless aside from the fact that they were capable of heating up a ten person tent via their normal body heat.
Heard a new one related to men dating women way too young for them: “Those old men walkin’ around with embryos”
From a goodwill cashier
Two I like from history:
A lady called Winston Churchill drunk. Churchill replied: “Madam, I may be drunk, but you are ugly. I shall be sober in the morning.”
Robert Muldoon, Prime Minister of New Zealand, when asked about the migration of NZers to Australia replied “Well, it raises the IQ of both countries.”
I shall be sober in the morning.
Highly doubt lmao
Couldn’t happen to a better person.
(After a trajedy or mishap)
Until hearing you talk, I never thought lobotomies could make people smarter
Any variation of phrases where you express disappointment in someone/something
ITT: A bunch of exotic insults that make people look like redditors
“A face for radio” is a classic
“This is why people talk about you”
The comments have devolved into the less mundane and just regular insults, so I’ll throw this one in here:
You’re as thick as a brick sandwich
To a performer: “Every time you perform is better than the next.”
To anyone: “I find you argumentative and easily offended.”
Best part of an insult is heading off the retort.
“Your family tree is a circle”
Don’t argue with that guy, he’s the Joe Rogan kind of smart.
I wish that for just one time you could stand inside my shoes
And just for that one moment I could be you
Yes, I wish that for just one time you could stand inside my shoes
You’d know what a drag it is to see you
Bob Dylan, Positively 4th Street
