Talking about sex needs to be done with some caution to not upset others
This is literally what I’m saying. Upsetting others means you are violating their emotional boundaries. If they do not consent to the interaction, then they might get mad.
It’s literally so easy to say, “hey, I’m going to bring up an adult topic, anyone uncomfortable with that?” And then if anyone says yes, say nevermind. its so easy and you all bellyaching like its a hike up a mountain is WEIRD.
That’s not the issue and you are failing to understand that. I agree with you. But the first comment said that that is the same form and level of consent needed that is needed for sex and that’s just not true.
It is. Asking someone, “Do you mind if I talk about this?” is cognitively and calorically the same as , “Can I kiss you?” “Do you like this?” “Is this okay?”
The damage done by unwanted sexual talk can be significant- eg Trump saying he and Ivanka have sex in common on Wendy Williams, or how he’d be dating her if she wasn’t his daughter on Howard Stern.
This is different than physical sexual abuse which not only has psychological harm (as before), it also has physical harm.
In general, having a light hearted conversation with friends whose general boundaries you’re already aware of, isn’t a big deal, just like saying “hey, everyone is cool with this right?” is also not a big deal to actually do but is still important.
Like I’m getting all this pushback for recommending people consider saying “You all good with this?” Lol
This is literally what I’m saying. Upsetting others means you are violating their emotional boundaries. If they do not consent to the interaction, then they might get mad.
It’s literally so easy to say, “hey, I’m going to bring up an adult topic, anyone uncomfortable with that?” And then if anyone says yes, say nevermind. its so easy and you all bellyaching like its a hike up a mountain is WEIRD.
That’s not the issue and you are failing to understand that. I agree with you. But the first comment said that that is the same form and level of consent needed that is needed for sex and that’s just not true.
It is. Asking someone, “Do you mind if I talk about this?” is cognitively and calorically the same as , “Can I kiss you?” “Do you like this?” “Is this okay?”
The damage done by unwanted sexual talk can be significant- eg Trump saying he and Ivanka have sex in common on Wendy Williams, or how he’d be dating her if she wasn’t his daughter on Howard Stern.
This is different than physical sexual abuse which not only has psychological harm (as before), it also has physical harm.
In general, having a light hearted conversation with friends whose general boundaries you’re already aware of, isn’t a big deal, just like saying “hey, everyone is cool with this right?” is also not a big deal to actually do but is still important.
Like I’m getting all this pushback for recommending people consider saying “You all good with this?” Lol