Reformed homophobe and (current) bisexual here, at least in my case, it was about being really afraid of bing found out and then beaten and ridiculed. At least in those times I avoided them like the plague, nowadays I just don’t care.
Thankfully, the kinks of mine I would most like to keep private aren’t fetishizing people, so I don’t know if it’s a chicken or egg thing. I suspect that it’s more that people feel that they are silly for having these kinks and want to separate their perceived selves from the kink as much as possible, then they get carried away from there (not an excuse, they still have to be bad people to do that).
There is probably an absolutely fascinating sociology paper that examines this through the lens that the fact it’s forbidden makes it sexier
Reformed homophobe and (current) bisexual here, at least in my case, it was about being really afraid of bing found out and then beaten and ridiculed. At least in those times I avoided them like the plague, nowadays I just don’t care.
I reckon that’s fairly common. Glad you are “you” now though!
Thankfully, the kinks of mine I would most like to keep private aren’t fetishizing people, so I don’t know if it’s a chicken or egg thing. I suspect that it’s more that people feel that they are silly for having these kinks and want to separate their perceived selves from the kink as much as possible, then they get carried away from there (not an excuse, they still have to be bad people to do that).