• HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world
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    6 hours ago

    i mean people tend to like confidence, also you get to stop wallowing in ignorance. conventionally attractive or not, either they say yes or no and then you get to move forward from there. going from not knowing to knowing, that is a positive.

    • Saleh@feddit.org
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      4 hours ago

      You should know when it is appropriate to ask and when not:

      Don’ts:

      • complete strangers
      • people who cannot retreat, e.g. cashiers, waiters and the like, on a busy train/bus in an elevator etc.
      • people clearly not in a space to socialize.
      • asking for sex
      • being ambigious about intentions

      Do’s:

      • people you held a normal conversation with before
      • in a space where they are comfortable and either party can leave easily if things get awkward
      • being clear about it being a date
      • public place with individual privacy, e.g. going out for a coffee
      • no alcohol or other drugs
      • NessD@lemmy.world
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        10 minutes ago

        This. Also, don’t put them on the spot. If unsure, give your number and let them decide. If she’s interested, she’ll text, if not you haven’t forced her to make a decision on the spot.

      • Halosheep@lemm.ee
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        2 hours ago

        Don’t forget the most important 2:

        • Be attractive

        • Don’t be unattractive

        • Phoenicianpirate@lemm.ee
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          15 minutes ago

          What is attractive and unattractive is always relative. I have seen fat girls with thin guys. And fat guys with thin girls. Many people who seemingly had a major disconnect in looks. But both found one another attractive.

          For me I am quite OK with a chubby gal as much as a petite gal. But I am not attracted to either extreme. I knew an anorexic-like skinny girl and I found her far less attractive than even a very obese girl. The anorexic gal generated some concern for me because she was clearly starving, but couldn’t eat much. Not due to a fear of getting fat, but to a metabolic issue.

        • S_H_K@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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          15 minutes ago

          Most women in my experience find a clean well dressed man more attrattive that a hot sitnky styless mofo. Take care of yourself. Face card can decline gentleman privilege is real.

    • TankovayaDiviziya@lemmy.world
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      5 hours ago

      Definitely. Looking like Henry Cavill makes it easier, but confidence is really the main attraction. I know less attractive men sleep with Victoria’s Secret-type women. And there is actually a study on men who are perpetually single, and the common denominator is being under-confident. But at the same time, you don’t want to be overconfident and thus arrogant.

      • HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world
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        4 hours ago

        oh totally. my wife is gorgeous, and she spent a bit too much time in our social circles single because everyone (myself included) was too intimidated to ask her out. we were friends for ages, she started giving me a hard time about having her number for like eight years but never asking her on a date, my ego wasn’t going to stand for that and here we are.