• HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.worldEnglish
    23·
    4 hours ago

    i mean people tend to like confidence, also you get to stop wallowing in ignorance. conventionally attractive or not, either they say yes or no and then you get to move forward from there. going from not knowing to knowing, that is a positive.

    • Saleh@feddit.org
      9·
      2 hours ago

      You should know when it is appropriate to ask and when not:

      Don’ts:

      • complete strangers
      • people who cannot retreat, e.g. cashiers, waiters and the like, on a busy train/bus in an elevator etc.
      • people clearly not in a space to socialize.
      • asking for sex
      • being ambigious about intentions

      Do’s:

      • people you held a normal conversation with before
      • in a space where they are comfortable and either party can leave easily if things get awkward
      • being clear about it being a date
      • public place with individual privacy, e.g. going out for a coffee
      • no alcohol or other drugs
    • TankovayaDiviziya@lemmy.world
      4·
      3 hours ago

      Definitely. Looking like Henry Cavill makes it easier, but confidence is really the main attraction. I know less attractive men sleep with Victoria’s Secret-type women. And there is actually a study on men who are perpetually single, and the common denominator is being under-confident. But at the same time, you don’t want to be overconfident and thus arrogant.

      • HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.worldEnglish
        2·
        2 hours ago

        oh totally. my wife is gorgeous, and she spent a bit too much time in our social circles single because everyone (myself included) was too intimidated to ask her out. we were friends for ages, she started giving me a hard time about having her number for like eight years but never asking her on a date, my ego wasn’t going to stand for that and here we are.

  • inb4_FoundTheVegan@lemmy.world
    5414·
    6 hours ago

    Sooooo… we’re doing incel shit posting now?

    This sort of black pill doomerism seriously destroys your mental health. You don’t have to be a Chad to find a girlfriend friends, but thinking your not “conventionally attractive” enough to date is a self fulfilling prophecy.

  • Hideakikarate@sh.itjust.works
    111·
    7 hours ago

    I don’t know where I saw it, and I can’t seem to find it again, but I remember one video where a girl uses Cavill as an example of what SOME women find attractive. He’s good-looking, yes, but what really got her was how he can talk about his interests with such passion. I’m obviously paraphrasing.

    • ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com
      83·
      7 hours ago

      As someone with crippling ADHD, if impassioned talking about my interests is cool, consider me Miles Davis.

      Problem is, the same girl who finds it attractive will find it annoying in a week or two, and all of a sudden that thing she liked makes me a jerk.

  • peoplebeproblems@midwest.socialEnglish
    425·
    10 hours ago

    So I recently found out my ex wife had a type. A type she desperately wanted me to fit into. A type that she would make me go to clothing stores for specific shirts that look good on pretty much no one but Henry Cavill.

    I did not look like Henry Cavill. Turns out around the time we divorce she goes through this phase swooning over Henry Cavill. Then she cheats on me with a dude I don’t know the name of (except I’ve unfortunately seen his dick) and low and behold he has this kind Henry Cavill build.

    Fast forward several years to now. I lost about 100lbs. Started lifting. Getting swole cause it was fun now that my body was smaller. Ate more protein, added creatine. Drink lots of water. I need different shirts. I dig out some old shirts, the only ones that sort of fit well are the ones she got at clothing stores that look good on pretty much no one but Henry Cavill. Turns out they still don’t look good on me, not because I’m not Henry Cavill, but I’m not a fuckboy.

    • DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social
      85·
      6 hours ago

      Creatine doesn’t actually help build muscles by itself it just gives you more energy and the long term effects are unknown other than developing a dependency so idk maybe just stick to the literal overdose of caffeine in more traditional pre-workouts.

      Or don’t, it’s probably fine. I’m sure the dudes sticking $10k in tren a week into their bodies to sell you the damn stuff wouldn’t lie.

      • ryedaft@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
        5·
        2 hours ago

        That’s absolute nonsense. Your body produces a lot of creatine every day. Like, it’s what the majority of arginine in your diet goes to making. The science is a bit iffy on whether it helps you lifting. There are some quite convincing studies that it helps cognitive function in vegetarians. Vegetarians don’t get creatine in their diet, they have to make it themselves. If the diet is a bit poor in arginine as well then it makes sense that they are slightly deficient. If you get most of your protein from whey they you will also have a low creatine / arginine diet and a supplement makes sense.

        Creatine works as an energy buffer in cells. There might only be a couple of seconds worth of energy in ATP but I seem to remember that creatine-P gives the cell up to a minute of energy. IIRC especially important in neurons because they don’t perform anaerobic production of energy from glucose.

  • Nefara@lemmy.world
    30·
    10 hours ago

    Ok so yes looking like Henry Cavill helps but how do you expect to go on a date with someone you like without asking them out? An amulet of Mara?

    • OsrsNeedsF2P@lemmy.ml
      12·
      10 hours ago

      I thought you were supposed to sit there and blush every time they look at you (but avoid eye contact) and then (redacted) and you’re married

      • ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com
        11·
        6 hours ago

        You must have asked a woman, ime that’s the “big hint” that I’m the idiot for missing. No if you’re a dude you have to pursue them but also not do that at all.

    • Eyedust@lemmy.dbzer0.comEnglish
      3·
      7 hours ago

      I mean, it is tempting to buy a replica Amulet of Mara and go to bars with it proudly on. Anyone that understood the meaning would prossibly be within compatibility range.

      • Nefara@lemmy.world
        3·
        5 hours ago

        I mentioned it because I’ve personally chatted up someone wearing one before, so it does totally work at certain nerdy conventions, as does carrying a Horga’hn.

    • Stalinwolf@lemmy.ca
      5·
      8 hours ago

      Amulets of Mara should honestly be a thing for normal people that don’t want to use an app designed for shallow fucking.

    • merc@sh.itjust.works
      2·
      8 hours ago

      Note that he says: “just ask her out”.

      Don’t try to find out anything more about her. Don’t try to see if maybe she might be interested. Don’t do anything other than ask her out.

      Now, sure, it’s going to be hard to get someone to go out with you unless at some point you ask them out. But, if you follow his advice you’re probably going to face a lot more rejection before you get a yes… unless you look like him.

      • the_wiz@feddit.org
        4·
        6 hours ago

        The thing is: If you ask her out (in real life, not through some shitty app) and you are not super creepy or awkward about it you already have an advantage above 90% of the dudes who write weird messages to her… it’s the date when you find out more about her

      • Nefara@lemmy.world
        1·
        5 hours ago

        Why would you need a 100% success rate? Meanwhile, not asking has something like a greater than 90% failure rate in the current western dating paradigm.

  • jjjalljs@ttrpg.network
    885·
    13 hours ago

    …yes? That’s what you have to do. Maybe she says no. Maybe she says yes. Doing nothing definitely won’t get you anywhere.

    • stebo@sopuli.xyz
      81·
      5 hours ago

      If she says no it doesn’t come without consequences. You can’t talk to her anymore without it being awkward, and if she’s part of a larger friend group you’re in the embarrassment is even worse.

      • zqps@sh.itjust.works
        8·
        4 hours ago

        You’re overthinking it. I know because I do the same. But realistically most women are quite relieved when you can take a kind “no” in stride because the bar is so low in this regard.

    • Eheran@lemmy.world
      594·
      13 hours ago

      The issue is the “always works for me”, the same way an old white man is going to have a lot less trouble with the police or telling a handicapped person to just walk the stairs because it “always works for me”.

      • Leraje@lemmy.blahaj.zoneEnglish
        6·
        4 hours ago

        Nobody has to ask anyone out, its not compulsory. Women do ask potential dates out, so do men. Its pretty irrelevant who the one doing the asking is - the point is not to put the onus on one gender but that if you - whoever you are - don’t ask, then you’ll never know.

      • jjjalljs@ttrpg.network
        103·
        9 hours ago

        She could ask you out. But if you just wait you’re giving up your initiative. Use your agency.

        • sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works
          5·
          8 hours ago

          Exactly. I’m a dude and my SO all but asked me out (asked for my number and whatnot). At some point someone needs to take initiative, and the sooner that happens, the better it is for everyone, so it might as well be you, regardless of your gender.

    • NocturnalMorning@lemmy.world
      17·
      12 hours ago

      I asked a girl out once…she said yes. But it was touch and go there for a while before I asked. And let me be clear, I do not look like this guy. Still solid advice tho.

    • pyre@lemmy.world
      11·
      7 hours ago

      you know this isn’t a real quote, right?

      … but yeah I’m sure it doesn’t hurt

  • TheRedSpade@lemmy.world
    81·
    9 hours ago

    I was about to ask who cares what some random dude says, but judging by the comments I’m the only one who isn’t familiar with him.

      • NotASharkInAManSuit@lemmy.world
        101·
        11 hours ago

        What other tactic is there to get a date? Being told no doesn’t mean it’s a bad strategy, it just means that person isn’t interested in dating you, at which point you move on and ask the next person you feel attracted enough to want to date and if they are interested then they’ll say yes and if not they’ll say no and you move on and repeat. Nobody owes you a yes, regardless of who you are, and I guarantee you Cavill has been turned down before.

                • Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works
                  31·
                  9 hours ago

                  What? No it’s not. Trust me that’s not what Henry is talking about. That’s an algorithm that matches people in an environment where there is much less chance of rejection or ruined friendships. It’s not at all the same. Neither is flirting / suggestions and allowing the other person to ask you when and if they feel ready. Neither is using a matchmaker.

                  There are so many ways to meet people without going up and just asking them to date you. That works well for a subset of very attractive people but can severely isolate a lot of people.

  • ReallyActuallyFrankenstein@lemmynsfw.comEnglish
    10·
    13 hours ago

    I mean, I know it’s a meme, so what. But before getting the pitchforks out: does anyone have a link to Henry Cavill saying this? Just curious.

    I searched and it’s all memes and reaction videos. Maybe true, maybe true but sarcastic, or maybe false. My guess is it has all the making of a quote that nobody fact checks because it’s too good for engagement.

    • chortle_tortle@mander.xyz
      192·
      12 hours ago

      I didn’t read it as being a genuine quote, and I don’t think the idea was to smear Cavill. I think he was just used a proxy for the incel talking point of only hot dudes think you can just ask women out and have it work.