Starting this off myself, there was one fella at my current job who bought vodka at a liquor store during his lunch break, poured heaps of it into his soda from a fast food joint, and wound up getting fired when they noticed him getting drunk as hell.
That was before I started working here, but coincidentally I met him at my other job!
My wife had a guy start at her company the same day she did, but he got fired that same day because for reasons no one understands he decided it would be wise to make his Teams (or whatever they used. Slack? I can’t remember) profile picture a meme that said “Epstein didn’t kill himself” or something to that effect.
It was a six figure software engineering job, too. I cannot imagine losing a job like that for such a silly, self-inflicted reason.
At my last job some intern burst into Slack calling everyone “mald” for disagreeing with his sexist memes. That whole event was just a couple of hours.
Tf is mald?
I believe it’s supposed to be a portmanteau of “mad” and “bald,” possibly implying that we were discontent merely because of age.
The portmanteau is correct, but “malding” means that the person is balding from sheer anger.
I assume the intern meant malding? As in, he’s saying everyone was upset.
But did he kill himself?
I know you’re joking, but the department of justice finished their investigation and found a whole lot of ineptitude and negligence, but no conspiracy
Worked security at a factory that made kitchen appliances. It wasn’t his first day, but it was his first shift by himself.
There’s a gate at the front that you lock when you go on rounds.
Dude chooses to go on a round 5 minutes before shift change for the factory workers. He gets a call on company cell that folks are at the gate. Instead of coming back, he tells them to wait 20 minutes so he can finish his round.
20 minutes where they won’t be getting paid.
Second in command big boss of the factory is out there checking IDs and directing traffic when dude gets back from his round. Now this dude is nice. Genuinely one of the nicest people you’ll ever meet. Old union rep, shirt off his back type. Tells guard not to worry about it, all’s good. Just time his rounds better next time.
Guard starts screaming at him about how he had no right to undo the lock, to get out of here, he’ll handle them, and if he wants to make them wait that’s his right. Boss man tells him to chill out, he won’t get in trouble, just go do his log and then he can take over checking IDs.
Guard pulls out, in one hand, a mag light flashlight he was told not to have, and in the other chemical spray that’s illegal for a guard to carry without certs (which he didn’t have), and this is an unarmed site. Threatens to ““arrest”” him. When boss pulls out his cell to call the guard company, the guard sprayed him and knocked his cell onto the ground, and kicked it across the parking lot, breaking it.
Needless to say, he was fired. Boss didn’t press assault charges, but we nearly lost the contract.
Should definitely have filed charges. I would be shocked if that was the first or last time this dude assaulted someone.
That’s clearly a guy who didn’t make it as a police officer
I can’t imagine why, he sounds like exactly the type of person police departments go for.
Was a contractor for Walmart.
Got hired on as a lead dev, getting compensated 150k/yr.
2nd day, they told me I needed to switch contracts in order to stay on. New contract paid 50k salary… with lots of required OT.
But, it’s OK they said, you get benefits and PTO.
Fuck that.
What the hell? That should be illegal if it isn’t already.
On the plus side, I negotiated to work remotely for a few weeks, due to needing to relocate.
So- I was actually able to work both my current job, and the “new” job without losing time for either job.
So, on the plus side, I didn’t lose anything, and got an extra paycheck for a few days. But, man, that would have been really shitty if I had relocated, and THEN got that notification.
As another interesting note, I discovered the other head-dev was only getting compensated 30-40k a year… for literally managing a world-wide system. He doesn’t work there either now.
Did your original contact allow for them to just terminate like that? No minimum?
You know, that got me curious… I went back and found the contract.
#1- There is this questionablly illegal clause in it.
But, yea, absolutely nothing in the contract about this swap-a-roo.
If an employer or prospective employer rescinds their job offer, or makes significant changes to the employment contract, through no fault of your own then you may have reason to engage an attorney and discuss Promissory Estoppel.
I am not a lawyer but it’s worth knowing the laws :)
I hired a woman once to work in the retail store I was managing at the time. After lunch, I noticed one of my long time employees crying in the break room. She had lost her wallet and whoever took it had wiped out her bank account at the Walmart next door. I called the manager over there and he pulled up the video and low and behold it was the new lady over there buying up gift cards. We called the police and after verifying what happened, they asked me if I wanted them to handle it quietly or to make a scene. I chose make a scene and they went into the backroom handcuffed her, told her why she was being arrested in front of everyone and marched her out. Needless to say HR agreed it should be an immediate termination.
Why were you fired?
- I stole a coworker’s wallet
- I defrauded Walmart buying gift cards
- I am very stupid
That’s an impressive trifecta.
I love that they asked you if you wanted a scene. I would have chose it too!
I actually think that’s a little disgusting. The police are choosing Corporate Interests over simply following the evidence and upholding the Law, no matter who broke it, or where they were employed…
What??? The police were going to arrest this person regardless. They just asked if OP wanted attention drawn to them or not.
If the “handle quietly” option was chosen in a movie, they would have taken the thief out the back, laid down some bubble wrap, put the silencers on their glock service pistols…
Lo* and behold.
https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/lo
I got your back. 👍 Please take the emoji as a sign of this not being condescending.
Wait you can choose whether you want to make a scene? That’s awesome!
The Theater Kid that became a cop is so happy too!
Enter COP, left.
Exit COP and SUSPECT, right.
I have a couple from the a warehouse job I worked at when I was 16. That place was wild lmao
- Fired from unplugging security cameras to charge his phone
- 30yo man harassing a 17yo girl
- That man’s wife fighting the 17yo girl for “flirting” with her husband even though she wasn’t
- Got on top of some shelves and took a nap. These shelves are really tall and you need a lift to get on top of them
These weren’t on their first day, but I thought they are worth mentioning
- Racing during lunch in the parking lot
- 10+ person brawl in the parking lot over a guy stealing another guy’s girlfriend
- A guy left his keys in his car so another guy just broke the window. He said he thought it was funny and that he got the bit from a movie, tv, or comedian or something
- A couple people got caught taking lunch on top of the shelves in a corner because the lunchroom was too loud. They also had a bed up there made up bubble wrap and yoga mats
- Going full speed into a door with a forklift while the forks were fully lifted
- Doing BMX tricks off the truck dock. I think people were riding skateboards off it too but I can’t remember 100%
That’s all the entertaining ones I can think of right now lol
There was some TV show in the 2000s that was a workplace drama / comedy set in a warehouse (or like a Costco?) and I remember something about two characters making like a hide-out at the top of some shelves. Does anyone remember the name of that show?
This is a subplot in The Office.
It was one of the phlebotomists (person who draws blood) at the hospital I worked at.
It was her first day going off on her own. She accidentally went to the wrong floor/area that morning. She drew many patients’ blood that morning for the morning blood draws. The entire time she was there, she did not double check even a single patient’s name at any point. They were all wrong. All were mislabeled. All patients had to be re-drawn and she was fired for gross negligence.
Things happen and I’ve seen things get mislabeled many tines before. It’s not good obviously. But if you do it once and no one ended up getting hurt, you just get reprimanded and move on. You generally don’t get fired for a one off. But never before or after have I seen that level of mislabeling.
Doesn’t it take months of training (at least!) to become a phlebotomist? How can you screw up that badly on day one?
Like the other user sort of said…I’m sure she drew the blood just fine. It was the caring about patient safety that didn’t happen.
My assumption would be that the training would put a huge weight on precisely that.
I really don’t think they’d spend all that time just learning how to mechanically draw blood and not have entire courses and exams on patient safety, record keeping etc.
Unfortunately you can’t force people to care about things they don’t care about. She obviously didn’t care. Or was maybe on drugs. Or both. Who knows?
Draw blood A+
Labelling O-
An old restaurant I worked at hired a new chef. He came in, completely rearranged the kitchen, changed the menu top to bottom ON HIS FIRST DAY, and introduced a bunch of complicated specials. Dinner service hits, chaos ensues and dude disappears.
I was on expo watching everything fall apart when one of the line cooks is like, “get chef,I don’t know how to make this special because there’s no recipe or notes”
I go into the walk in and he’s haunched over in there and violently turns, around inhaling, all bug eyed. I told him we needed help. He doesn’t hide his annoyance goes on the line, makes the one dish in question and is like, “see, that wasn’t difficult” and disappeared again.
The line cook asked why I had the look on my face that I did and I said it was because chef was doing rails in the walk in. We both laughed, shook our heads and got through service eventually. Drugs are pretty common in the service industry but even that seemed extreme.
Anyhow we didn’t see him for the rest of the night. Next day, I get to work and the owner is there and he pulls me aside and told me what happened after. Owner didn’t even know he’d been snorting shit during the dinner rush
Chef continued his one man party and went into the booze closet and proceeded to help himself. When the prep cook showed up the next morning the kitchen door was wide open so she called the police thinking the place had been robbed. The police went in and found Chef semi conscious and incoherent, giggling in the office. He was fired and since he was a keyholder all the locks and alarm codes had to be changed
I’ve never seen someone self destruct that spectacularly.
To have been a fly on the wall when they called the other guy chef beat out for the gig and told him he could start immediately…
A couple times now at my current job they’ve hired someone, only to have them just not show up on their agreed first day with no communication. I’m guessing they just got a different job they like more or something, but still, I’d imagine one usually at least tells people not to expect you, under that circumstance?
Companies can’t be arsed to let you know you didn’t get hired, I can see how someone would just ghost if they got a better job. Not commenting on whether it’s right it wrong, just making an observation.
One time someone showed up to work that was clearly different than the person from the interview. They never even got their badge.
So they hired a professional interviewee to be interviewed for them? Amazing. I wonder how you’d get that job, and what the recruitment process would be like?
It’s more they have a friend that speaks better English do the interview and hope that big companies don’t notice a difference when they start the job.
This is not uncommon in IT type jobs with individuals from a certain country. I was at lunch with a coworker when he was approached to do an interview for a cousin of one of his friends. I must have looked puzzled because he explained it to me and I was flabbergasted. He said that it was more common during phone interviews, but since “they all look the same” to white hiring managers, it still happens over video interviews.
Hate it when I do an interview with Don Cheadle and Terrence Howard shows up
Back in 2007 I worked in an office that required basic MS Excel / Word competency. The office manager led her to her desk and instructed her to turn on her computer (nothing fancy, a basic workstation with a large round button).
She couldn’t figure out how to turn it on. The office manager sent her home and she never came back.
I worked at a pet shop for two glorious days not knowing that I was the backup in case the boss’ nephew was accepted into his preferred college program. He was not accepted so I got the boot to make room for him on the team.
The manager doubled my first/ only paycheque because she felt bad. I’m still bitter 17 years later
I was a contacted technician at a retail store. They hired a new salesperson, immediately gave me weird vibes. On his lunch break, he came over to show me what I thought was going to be a meme on his phone - it was porn.
He was asked not to return for a second shift.
Sometimes I wonder how some people get hired.
Our hiring coordinator hires any idiot that applies. We ask her not to. She continues to do it.
On the technicians line of an electronics manufacturing facility, had a new hire come in on his first day. He was friendly. So much so that he wanted to use my workstation to log into his Yahoo mail and show me some pictures some female sent him. He calls up the photos and it’s full nudity real big on my computer monitor. I tell him “dude, we can’t have porn at work, close that out.” He panics and turns off the monitor. At some point I have to turn the monitor and close out of the browser, when no one is looking.
He was showing a pretty inattentiveness to his first day on the job training just not seeming to want to have anything to do that’s any kind of actual work.
Before the lunch break, he announced that he’s going to the restroom, then is never seen again. All I could tell the supervisor was that he said he was going to the restroom hours ago then haven’t seen him since.
Ctrl+W closes the current tab in most modern browsers. For the future.
There’s so many lazy as fuck people like that. It’s incredible. I wonder how they survive?
Over the years I’ve seen about a dozen people who just walk out while claiming they’re going to the bathroom.
Not exactly on topic but in the spirit of this post have a funny story. Hired a young lady recently entering the work force. She had been working about a week when we did our payroll run. This entailed printing out all the checks with pay details etc. Is done in an administrative office that is obviously kind of private. Not some place you would wake in without permission. Anyhow we started the payroll print and my manager stepped out briefly to get a coffee. When she came back this new employee was flipping thru everyone’s pay check. Of course my manager immediately asks what she is doing to which she responds ‘oh I’m just wondering what everyone is being paid’.
She honestly thought it was just fine to not only start flipping thru paperwork in the managers office but to also look over employee payroll checks. She simply had no idea and just stated what she was doing like it was just fine. Actually that was her saving grace. While we made it quite clear how inappropriate it was, being it was her first job, we chalked that down to immaturity and didn’t let her go on the spot. Had she been older that likely would have been her last day.
Mind you she only last a week longer for a myriad of other reasons. Little common sense.
it was just fine to not only start flipping thru paperwork in the managers office but to also look over employee payroll checks
Hey so believe it or not but she was right; people should have the right to know what their coworkers get paid. Stop pretending it’s supposed to be secret.
Workers should be allowed to discuss their pay if they choose. They shouldn’t be able to access peoples’ private financial information because they feel like it.
Was hired at a company as a designer. Went to the production meeting and sat down beside another designer (introduced myself and we started chatting). In comes everyone else and sits down. We all start chatting and do introductions.
Five minutes into the meeting the company owner comes in, chatting with a salesman. He glances around the room, then his face freezes on me - he then looks at the guy beside me and keeps looking back and forth. He finally motions for me to come outside the conference room. I walk out and he asks me what I was doing there. I tell him ‘remember, you hired me and my start day was today??’
He turned pale and just said ‘oh yeah I forgot’. He let me go back in the room but then I heard him call the guy beside me out.
The guy never came back. Apparently he had intended on firing him and forgot.
Needless to say I didn’t stay long before I found another job. The place was complete chaos.
Omg he had hired the replacement already and forgot to fire the guy… what a mess, and what an idiot
Yeah, I was young and it was my first job out of college (technically I worked thru college but this was my first after graduation) so I was very inexperienced still and also didn’t know what to look for when it came to red flags.
The owner’s wife worked there in a ‘higher up’ position and was the major cause of a lot of conflict at the company. Basically he would give people orders then she would come along and contradict them.
If anyone disagreed with her then she would go to hubby and complain about said person(s) making it impossible to please either because you couldn’t prove her wrong. That designer in particular was just the latest of ‘trophy wife’s wrath’. The place had an insane turnover rate I quickly found out.
At least it was a good learning experience and taught me to ask questions and meet people during the interview process.
