No. Once bitten twice shy, and I got bitten over and over again. Falling in love with every person who was nice to me in high school was a massive mistake and caused nothing but hardship. The last two decades have been relatively peaceful because I don’t buy it anymore. Fuck reading between the lines, fuck hints, fuck signals and vibes. I’m never acting unless I receive DIRECT CLEARLY EXPRESSED FREELY GIVEN ENTHUSIASTIC CONSENT and not a moment sooner.
Last year I got hit on by a young woman in my neighbourhood. She started by asking me for some rice because she didn’t have any left (that might have been an excuse). When I came back 5mn later with a bag, she simply asked me if I wanted to play with her. I told her I was married and went home, but I liked her approach. No room for ambiguity. She must have been 20 something, so it’s not a matter of age at least. Maybe maturity.
Intuition does not help when it is a woman giving signs in order to reassure herself that she is attractive but with zero intention of accepting a request for a date.
Actually, you know, I could afford to keep that in mind more often. I’ve suffered with poor self esteem in the past myself, and so I know just about everyone can use reassurance sometimes. It’s just a matter of figuring out how to validate someone else’s insecurity without creeping them out and also without becoming an enabling crutch that they lean on more than is healthy or appropriate.
Empathy can be toxic if I’m misreading, too… It’s possible to honestly believe I’m attempting to reassure someone and end up saying something that only exacerbates their insecurities x_x I don’t even know how it turns out like that, probably because I’m just not very good or practiced at socializing. But usually I’ve tended to err on the side of caution and keep my mouth shut.
I dunno. I’ll have to think on it more as to whether or not I want to try proactively engaging on that again now…
No. Once bitten twice shy, and I got bitten over and over again. Falling in love with every person who was nice to me in high school was a massive mistake and caused nothing but hardship. The last two decades have been relatively peaceful because I don’t buy it anymore. Fuck reading between the lines, fuck hints, fuck signals and vibes. I’m never acting unless I receive DIRECT CLEARLY EXPRESSED FREELY GIVEN ENTHUSIASTIC CONSENT and not a moment sooner.
I will never trust my ““intuition”” ever again.
Last year I got hit on by a young woman in my neighbourhood. She started by asking me for some rice because she didn’t have any left (that might have been an excuse). When I came back 5mn later with a bag, she simply asked me if I wanted to play with her. I told her I was married and went home, but I liked her approach. No room for ambiguity. She must have been 20 something, so it’s not a matter of age at least. Maybe maturity.
Intuition does not help when it is a woman giving signs in order to reassure herself that she is attractive but with zero intention of accepting a request for a date.
Actually, you know, I could afford to keep that in mind more often. I’ve suffered with poor self esteem in the past myself, and so I know just about everyone can use reassurance sometimes. It’s just a matter of figuring out how to validate someone else’s insecurity without creeping them out and also without becoming an enabling crutch that they lean on more than is healthy or appropriate.
Empathy can be toxic if I’m misreading, too… It’s possible to honestly believe I’m attempting to reassure someone and end up saying something that only exacerbates their insecurities x_x I don’t even know how it turns out like that, probably because I’m just not very good or practiced at socializing. But usually I’ve tended to err on the side of caution and keep my mouth shut.
I dunno. I’ll have to think on it more as to whether or not I want to try proactively engaging on that again now…