• Warl0k3@lemmy.world
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    3 days ago

    slrpnk and dbzer0 are both fine, and .world is a bit fractious but still quite solid. Blahaj is good too! Really the only instances I’d suggest avoiding are Hexbear, Lemmy.ml and Lemmygrad

    • Wugmeister@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      2 days ago

      Bahaj is a pretty nice place. The mods I’ve interacted with there seem to have their heads screwed on straight. We will see how long that continues.

    • Tollana1234567@lemmy.today
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      3 days ago

      people are fine, as long as they dont visit the main politics.world communities, or anyof the affiliate. there some semi-wierd pro-ziolnist thing going on.

      • LustyArgonian@lemmy.world
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        1 day ago

        I was permabanned from the political and news subs for writing, WITH REPUTABLE SOURCES, Russia’s election meddling AND for saying feminist things. I spoke with the mod who banned me publicly and he was unable to support his ban based on the rules, but kept it intact. Those subs imo are compromised by their mods

        • Tollana1234567@lemmy.today
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          16 hours ago

          yea i just skim those subs, prior to being purged as effort by reddit to reduce user numbers on the site. too easy to get into conflict with trolls and get yourself banned.

    • Electricd@lemmybefree.net
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      3 days ago

      Blahaj 😂

      That must be one of the most authoritarian ones. Not tankie, but the lgbt tankie equivalent

      • EldritchFemininity@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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        2 days ago

        Got any examples? Blahaj was founded on the principle of protecting trans people, and I have yet to see anything here that people are claiming as mods abusing their power that didn’t turn out to be people getting upset about being banned for being transphobic.

        There’s definitely some tankies here, but the biggest complaint I have about Blahaj is that you can’t see downvotes so the most controversial posts can look like the most agreed on takes.

        • Electricd@lemmybefree.net
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          2 days ago

          people are claiming as mods abusing their power that didn’t turn out to be people getting upset about being banned for being transphobic.

          That’s exactly the thing: bans for transphobia are often about non-transphobic speech. Not agreeing on specific subjects doesn’t mean one is transphobic. Thinking a cisgender person can have an opinion on laws or regulation regarding transgenders is not transphobia. Having your feelings hurt over an opinion while you are a trans doesn’t make it transphobia. Transphobia is hate speech.

          Source: I have been instance-banned from blahaj on an older account. Maybe twice? Not sure. I’m not willing to share the accounts’ names, but I try to respect my instance bans. Don’t want to interact there anyways

          spoiler

          people will assume I’m transphobic because they know me better than myself, apparently

          • EldritchFemininity@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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            2 days ago

            So Warl0k3 had a pretty good conversation on the matter, but as the original asker I just wanted to add something.

            In this regard, Blahaj is no more authoritarian than a lesbian bar. That’s the analogy I use to describe how Blahaj is run - it’s like a gay/lesbian bar. It’s not a place meant to be an open floor of debate or something, it’s a place for trans people made by trans people. Blahaj is supposed to be a place where people can get away from the “just asking questions” or having to defend their existence constantly like everywhere else on the internet and real life. And just like a lesbian bar, if you bother the clientele or staff, you can and will be thrown out.

            • Electricd@lemmybefree.net
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              2 days ago

              Can’t the same be said for the usual suspects like lemmygrad, hexbear, .ml…?

              Lemmy is meant to be used to discuss with people. When you try to enforce your rules outside, you go too far.

              I still don’t think it’s a great instance to point people to. Not with an admin actively silencing ‘opponents’, defaming and spreading misinformation

              Your defense is basically “it’s meant to be authoritarian”

              And just like a lesbian bar, if you bother the clientele or staff, you can and will be thrown out.

              A bar is not a forum. Lemmy’s goal is to discuss and share things. If only a specific point of view is allowed, it ceases to be a “safe place” and becomes a circlejerk. Like it if you want, I find it dumb and will never recommend biased or opinionated instances if they don’t allow other opinions.

              • EldritchFemininity@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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                2 days ago

                How do I put this, your belief of what Lemmy and a forum are intended for are…misguided? Not quite the word I’m looking for, but close.

                A forum is a 3rd space, like a bar, a restaurant, a community garden, a local store that runs tabletop games, or even a park. A gathering space for people to intermingle. But that doesn’t mean that a forum has to allow everything. 3rd spaces still have rules to be followed. When you enter Blahaj, you agree to abide by the house rules. And some of those rules are there specifically to stop sealioning behavior, which trans people are subjected to endlessly everywhere else on the web and looks exactly like this:

                Inherently transphobic? You’re just assuming and extrapolating

                Don’t assume it’s malicious, they might just not know. Aren’t we here to discuss? Being wrong doesn’t mean I should be banned, but I should be corrected. Closing debates when I’m respectful isn’t useful to anyone

                I just like to question things, not take and accept them just because the person is concerned by the topic, especially if they have a sensibility or opinion on the subject

                There are places where those kinds of questions and debates are okay (as long as they’re sincere and not malicious), but Blahaj is designed to be a space where trans people can get together and not be bombarded by those sorts of questions endlessly.

          • Warl0k3@lemmy.world
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            2 days ago

            I mean, it’s more that you say inherently transphobic things like:

            I would personally say a cis guy dating a trans woman is gay

            that shines some light on the potential reasons you might have been banned from the instance.

            • Electricd@lemmybefree.net
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              2 days ago

              Inherently transphobic? You’re just assuming and extrapolating

              Don’t assume it’s malicious, they might just not know. Aren’t we here to discuss? Being wrong doesn’t mean I should be banned, but I should be corrected. Closing debates when I’m respectful isn’t useful to anyone

              I just like to question things, not take and accept them just because the person is concerned by the topic, especially if they have a sensibility or opinion on the subject

              • Warl0k3@lemmy.world
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                2 days ago

                The problem is you’re approaching interaction with the assumption it’s appreciated - but Blahaj isn’t set aside as an educational space, it’s a queer space - and people coming in and retreating to just asking questions when challenged is a really tired trope. You can be unfamiliar with a topic yes, but people are under no obligation to explain themselves or engage in a discussion with you just because of that. Calling a group “LGBT tankies” because you don’t understand this may be justified under your own guiding principals, but it comes across as the same kind of petulance as when incels encounter a women’s-only space.

                You’re mad because you were banned, and you have a history of expressing transphobic opinions regardless of your internal motivation. It seems pretty straightforward what happened here.

                • Electricd@lemmybefree.net
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                  2 days ago

                  Well yea, if you don’t want to debate, don’t. Don’t falsely claim the person is transphobic if you don’t know. Don’t censor the message. If you do, don’t be surprised that I call you authoritarian and full of shit

                  you have a history of expressing transphobic opinions regardless of your internal motivation. It seems pretty straightforward what happened here.

                  You invested an history of things I haven’t done. If you believe what I have said is transphobic, then you have a problem and are actively engaging in defamatory speech. You keep assuming stuff about me which I partly what I’m calling out

                  Sadly, safe spaces often turns out to be safe for some people, and xenophobic of other people. Authoritarian people thrive there and confirmation bias is king

                  Not being able to discuss in a community focused on this subject is really sad. I would never recommend an instance or community where only a single opinion is allowed

                  • Warl0k3@lemmy.world
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                    2 days ago

                    You just said a transphobic thing, though. It’s in the quote I used. That thing you said is transphobic, ergo you have a history of saying transphobic things.

                    Not being able to discuss in a community focused on this subject is really sad.

                    You’re either misunderstanding or misrepresenting what I said. You’re welcome to engage with discussion within the community (well not you specifically because of the ban), but there’s no obligation for the community to educate you just so you’ll feel included. Just like I’m not interested in litigating the details of why ‘asserting that you would consider a hetero relationship containing a trans person to be a gay relationship’ is transphobic.

                    It’s not an unfair assumption to assume that what someone tells you they believe is, in fact, what they believe. You have expressed transphobic views, so since the only information I have with which to judge you is based on what you’ve expressed, I can safely take you at your word that you at very least hold the transphobic opinion you have said you hold.

                    I suspect your inability to accept that rejection based on the things you say doesn’t automatically entitle you to defend yourself is also part of the reason for your instance bans.