Same. My former best friend repeatedly tried to touch my ex gf inappropriately “on accident” and kept inviting her to swim in his pool. I told him repeatedly that if he tried to get with her I wouldn’t be okay with it, and every time something happened he basically gaslit me.
After several months of that, in a drug fueled rant he finally admitted he did like her and was trying to get with her. He wouldn’t apologize for gaslighting me (a term I didn’t know at the time, but years later realized that’s what that word meant) so I blocked him on everything and left.
My best friend (of nearly 30 years. I met him when we were very young) was also a piece of shit.
He was going through a really bad patch in life. He had been kicked out of his house and being divorced when he was caught cheating. He could only see his kids at the weekend but they didn’t really want to see him etc etc.
Long story short: we helped in any and every way. We spent cash on distracting him and feeding him. Paid for a holiday for him. And he then back stabbed us on Facebook.Now I don’t have Facebook, and the wife hardly uses it, so we weren’t supposed to see the shit he was trying to pull. And when I pulled him up on it we got the “it’s your fault for seeing it” and “I knew you would be upset which is why I didn’t tell you” type bullshit.
I wished him well going forward in life and then we blocked him on everything we could. And, my god, was it a relief.
What do you mean by backstabbing on Facebook? Did he talk shit about you?
Not exactly.
Get ready, an essay is incoming!!!This was about 3 months after he had been kicked out. He was depressed still. He had moved out of our house into his new place a few weeks back, but was still coming around most evenings. However very soon we were going away for a weeks holiday and he was mentioning that he wouldn’t know what to do with himself when we were away.
So, after a quick talk together, we asked him if he’d like to come.
Oh, this was about two weeks before we were flying.
Anyways he jumped at the chance of a free holiday, so we paid for it with no quibbles. We got him his own chalet. The food was included, in fact everything was included except for drinks. Lift passes, shuttles, flights, hire equipment etc etc. All paid. Hell, we even said you don’t have to stick with us, you can go on the slopes by yourself if you want. Whatever you want.A few days before the flight he texted during the day to say he couldn’t go. His job all of a sudden needed him to work, and he needed the cash for his new house etc etc.
The wife and I had a quick talk and although I was annoyed about spending all that money that mostly we weren’t going to get back, I rang him back later and told him not to worry. That his job was more important for his future at this time blah blah blah.
Basically tried to be supportive. And to not worry but to come around later if he wanted for food like he usually did.
He did.
He sat there and ate our food whilst telling us how gutted he was about not being able to go away with us and blah. All good, we say. These things happen and he had to do what’s best for his future.
We then have food and then go to the pub. Lovely. No issues. Shit happens.Anyways, the wife and I go on holiday and a few days in the wife is on FB and sees pictures of my mate on holiday with some guys from his work place.
It hit me that he would use me for food and drink, a place to stay, even a free holiday…but as soon as a better offer comes along I get forgotten.
In less than two weeks he went from “I can’t wait to ski down those slopes with you” to “it’s your fault I had a better offer and I decided to lie to you”Anyways when I asked if he was enjoying his holiday I got the replies where he blamed me for it all.
It actually felt pretty good to not have to deal with him after all that.
It… could be worse? It was a cowardly/asshole move, but not explicitly malicious I guess.
Like, from his perspective, maybe he was trying to stop being so dependent on you and utterly messed up trying to handle it? And reacted horribly, of course.
I’m playing devil’s advocate here, maybe because I kinda sympathize with being in a bad place and dependent on others as an adult.
Cut toxic motherfuckers off.
Wanna give more context, or not feeling comfortable enough for it?
It’s not entirely my story to tell so I’ll keep it vague.
It turned out a guy I considered my family groomed someone he met through me. His victim recently confided in me what he did to her years ago. I believed her so I confronted aforementioned “best friend” who spent more energy trying to gain sympathy over how he was “in a dark place” and that’s why he did what he did than acknowledging that he did something absolutely despicable. I kicked him out of my place and told him he’s dead to me. I’m still in the fallout of the whole situation.
Yeah you took the trash out best not to worry about it now.
I feel like I’m missing something
Felt like oversharing, might delete later 🤪
This shouldn’t be as relatable as it is…
Good for you.
