When I was 5 years old, I used to go to a bakery. And it was locally owned.
I’d go in, and I’d buy a brownie. And I’d do my moms shopping. Just lite stuff. Gallon of milk. Carton of cigerettes. Loaf of bread. Sometimes pancake mix. Then I’d buy a brownie from the bakery.
Every Saturday morning.
This went on for years. Until one day, I came in, clearly something wrong. I bought all my moms groceries. I’m 15 by this point. But I didn’t get my brownie. And so when Abeer (shop owners name) put my brownie on the counter, I said no. She could already tell something was wrong before the brownie rejection. But now she had to ask. I said “I don’t want a brownie today”.
She said “I’ll give you one. It’s ok if you don’t pay this week.”
I said “No. It’s not about money. I don’t want a brownie.”
She asked “Whats wrong?”
I said “Papa died…” and I burst into tears. Papa was my grandfather. He had died the night before. I just wanted to get in, and get out. Without talking really. But when she heard Papa died, she rushed around the counter and hugged me.
Here’s a woman who I’d grown up with. Every weekend talking for 30-60 minutes. She was the shopkeep, yes, but she was also a close family friend.
I was in this trance/haze of doing what I need to do, because I need to, but my mind was elsewhere. I was just trying to do my moms shopping, and get home in 5 minutes so I could curl back up in bed. Not to sleep, but just to try not to remember that I exist.
So when she ran around the counter to hug me, I didn’t even know what was happening. I thought she was still behind the counter, and now suddenly she’s hugging me.
I’m 42 now, but I cannot imagine kids today being able to understand the core concept of old school communities. They’ve been ripped out and replaced by walmart and other heartless souless corporations.
Can you imagine a 6 year old leaving his house, walking 10 minutes, entering walmart, and spending 30 minutes talking to the workers, telling them about the week at school? Showing her your TMNT toys you got for your birthday? Telling them various things about your life?
I cannot imagine that, but that was how the whole neighborhood was growing up. Every store a small community shop. Every adult knew every kid. Every kid knew every kid.
One time I was walking home and it started raining. So I just went onto the doorstep of the first house I saw that I knew a kid lived at. I’m just standing on the porch, waiting for it to stop raining. Suddenly Andys mom opens the door. She says “Andys not here right now. He’s over at James house.”
I said “Oh, ok. I’m just using the porch as shelter until it clears.”
And thats when Andys mom drove me home. Thats just how it was. A whole community looking out for the whole community.
Now anytime I go back to my old neighborhood, I don’t recognize it. C-Town pizza is gone. Obviously the video rental stores are gone. One time I even went and knocked on the houses of the kids I knew. Wondering if anyone I used to know inherited their parents old houses. Nope. I had a woman yell at me for disturbing her time. Wasn’t anyone I used to know.
But just looking around, I could tell the street layout may be the same, but this wasn’t a community. This was an isolated set of houses.
And now I’m sad. Because I miss those days. I miss the idea of everyone caring about everyone. I miss the wholesome nature of a new family moving in, and everyone just bombarding them with welcoming arms. I miss the idea of just going to my friends house, and walking in, Kramer style (minus the racism).
Now life is just cold and isolated.
Weird. Youtube doesn’t do that to me. It is insistant however that I need to watch AI made videos about why linux is better than linux.
No, not a typo. The titles are usually along the lines of “Is Mint better than linux? Lets find out!”
Or
“Ubuntu just can’t compete with Linux!”
And the one time I accidently clicked one of these videos, it was the most obvious AI slop you’d ever seen.
Maybe it doesn’t suggest these right wing videos because they see how much Steven Colbert, and Last Week Tonight I watch.
Then there’s the weird videos. Not AI. Just…weird.
Like the video of a teenager dipping a pickle into a jar of tostitos queso, and repeatedly saying “pickles n cheese, pickles n cheese, pickles n cheese…” while making squishing noises with the cheese.
But since I clicked it, and watched 30 seconds of it, youtube now reccomends me videos from time to time of this guy doing random things with pickles.
I miss when it reccomended the guy with the duck. The duck was cool.