I would unironically sooner become an actual hermit and never socialize again than give these cretins my ID or even trust that they’ll delete an age verification photo. Knowing Discord? yeah, no, absolutely fucking not

"A man walks into a bar.

It hurt."

Careful, if the Republicans get wind of this they’ll start calling snails a woke, radical trans plot.

Let’s see, I’ll be twenty nine in April, so… Tried for about ten years? 19 would’ve been about when I started feeling like I had my shit together enough that someone else might be interested. You know, the usual delusions of adequacy one has before life comes out of nowhere to suckerpunch you in the dick.

A decade of trying has gotten me one single “relationship” that was someone leading me on for a few months out of… Boredom, I guess? They wound up dumping me via text on Christmas morning, saying they didn’t actually feel anything for me, and pretty much everyone before or since has used me for what feels like entertainment. Turns out I’m interesting enough to be amusing for a week or two, sometimes a bit longer, but not enough to be actually wanted.

There’s one guy that was interested in me as their therapist and then wasn’t interested at all when he got on antidepressants, another that was intensely charming for weeks and then flipped off like a switch, and more I could remember and list off if I felt they were worth remembering, but they really aren’t.

I’ve just sort of accepted that not everyone gets to do everything they want in life. I’m either just not attractive, or I’m only attractive in the same way badly made gimmick Christmas toys are attractive to children; they look fun to play with for a bit, but not engaging in the long term and easily broken.

Good luck, people suck.

I’ll never get over how some people whiteknight for soulless corporations that not only don’t give a fuck about them but actively hold them in contempt, yes, the internet is a silly place.

LLMs: flawed tools with potential but unfortunately vastly overhyped confidence in their abilities.

Audiovisual AI – deepfakes, AI generated art and music, AI facial and whole-body recognition, etc: no. Just no. Nothing good has, will, or can come of this, I’m quite certain.

no, you don’t understand, as Take Two and R* quite happily also take down free mods.

for the umpteenth time, quit making mods for games that are developed by asshats. Take Two/R* very clearly don’t want a healthy community surrounding and supporting their games as evidenced by virtually every decision they make regarding community modding efforts, stop trying to give them one; spend your time making mods for better games. Or better still, go from modding games to creating them and you could develop your vision without the constraints of someone else’s IP. But for the love of fuck stop giving time and effort to these people who will deliberately squander it.

Yo dawg…

No no, you’ll need slugs if you want to hole-punch any body armor.

Not that I would know what you aim on using your wireless hole-punch for.

funderstandable, have a nice day

Is he? Because I can recite the lyrics from memory and I can’t recall singing anything about the tangerine toddler terrorist.

all excellent contenders as well, yes, though I’m not sure Greene’s space lasers insanity was a big enough “thing” to qualify for a verse

Off the top of my head: Iraq, 9/11, the PATRIOT act, Afghanistan (and the withdrawal), Katrina, Obama, Trump (and maybe a mention for J6), the Ukraine war, the Uyghur genocide, Snowden, the Panama Papers, Epstein, the Gaza genocide, the Queen dying, and maybe a snarky verse referencing Liz Truss and the lettuce.

“Hello and thank you for calling. At the tone, please hang up and text me instead. Have a nice day.”

don’t forget Grave of the Fireflies (1988), a heartwarming animated tale of siblings sticking together through adversity in Japan.

So, anyway, yeah… I don’t know why they left the great pussy tightening subplot out of the movies.

well you know, I’m beginning to think this Coppola fellow simply didn’t know true art when he saw it, after reading all that. That could’ve been a wonderfully surreal addition to spice up the trilogy.

my headcanon, ruined!

that may be, but the headcanon of someone going “no, actually, I have communed and become one with the beetles and they are totally chill” is funnier to me