If you look at relationships like this, like there is some fixed set of people you are compatible with and that number exists outside of whatever personal adaptability or compromise you’re willing to make, then the number is probably actually a lot higher for a population of 8 billion people. Few people have any clue how large of a number that is.
Then if you DO factor in that a relationship is two-way, and you change, and your partner change over time to better adapt to each other and assuming you both want the best outcome, then that adds a variable that makes that number jump WAY up.
Depending on how much you’re willing to change or adapt, you can almost make that number anything you want. Of course, this isn’t the way to have a healthy relationship, your difficult choice is always deciding how much you’re going to change for someone, how much of your mental and emotional energy for change they are worth, and what your worth is as you are right now.
If your answer to that last question is “none” then that magic number drops to almost zero. Having no self-worth (or specifically, things about yourself that you’re not willing to change because of your values and ethics and desires for your future) radically reduces the number of people you might have success with. It seems counter-intuitive, but your adaptability, or passiveness in a relationship can do as much harm as being a stubborn ass.
Of course, looking at relationships this way of odds and numbers and ratios is utter horseshit, but ya’ll kids fantasizing about anime waifus and werewolf boyfriends and crying yourself to sleep because you can’t figure out the “magic trick” to being liked, just loooove to look at your lives in the lens of numbers and rules and systems.
Meanwhile, in reality, it’s more like the gambler’s fallacy. If the ball landed on red 40 times in a row, it says nothing about what color it will land on next. The person you will spend the rest of your life with happily may bump into you at the dollar store tomorrow and you both just feel so good about each other that you both make whatever changes and efforts needed to make it work. Life doesn’t actually follow any systems or rules of odds.
If you look at relationships like this, like there is some fixed set of people you are compatible with and that number exists outside of whatever personal adaptability or compromise you’re willing to make, then the number is probably actually a lot higher for a population of 8 billion people. Few people have any clue how large of a number that is.
Then if you DO factor in that a relationship is two-way, and you change, and your partner change over time to better adapt to each other and assuming you both want the best outcome, then that adds a variable that makes that number jump WAY up.
Depending on how much you’re willing to change or adapt, you can almost make that number anything you want. Of course, this isn’t the way to have a healthy relationship, your difficult choice is always deciding how much you’re going to change for someone, how much of your mental and emotional energy for change they are worth, and what your worth is as you are right now.
If your answer to that last question is “none” then that magic number drops to almost zero. Having no self-worth (or specifically, things about yourself that you’re not willing to change because of your values and ethics and desires for your future) radically reduces the number of people you might have success with. It seems counter-intuitive, but your adaptability, or passiveness in a relationship can do as much harm as being a stubborn ass.
Of course, looking at relationships this way of odds and numbers and ratios is utter horseshit, but ya’ll kids fantasizing about anime waifus and werewolf boyfriends and crying yourself to sleep because you can’t figure out the “magic trick” to being liked, just loooove to look at your lives in the lens of numbers and rules and systems.
Meanwhile, in reality, it’s more like the gambler’s fallacy. If the ball landed on red 40 times in a row, it says nothing about what color it will land on next. The person you will spend the rest of your life with happily may bump into you at the dollar store tomorrow and you both just feel so good about each other that you both make whatever changes and efforts needed to make it work. Life doesn’t actually follow any systems or rules of odds.