I’ll just say this: he kicked a gate thinking nobody was home and ended up getting scolded and fined
About 20 years ago I was working in the produce department of a supermarket, we were selling durians,we had one that had gone rotten and was sitting on the waste trollie, this dumb fuck I worked with looked at it and said " I’m gonna throw a knife at it", I tried to stop him, i warned him its not gonna go the way he thinks, he throws the knife, perfectly stabbing the durian and the second the knife pierced the outer skin, this long thick stream of white foam launched out of it and landed directly in his dumb laughing mouth, he stopped dead still, went green as fuck, legged it to the bathroom and spent the next hour throwing up, I ended up sending him, but not till after I asked, “So, you gonna listen to me from now on?” he mumbled a sheepish yes between throwing up.
He always listened to me from that point on.
Went to pour himself a glass of filtered water, but wasn’t sure which side of the tap was for hot water. He didn’t want to accidentally pour a glass of boiling water - so he put his hand in it to see if it was scalding hot. It was.
Looked down the barrel of a loaded gun, then flagged the range master.
“Excuse me sir, I’m too stupid to be on this range. May I leave?”
The class assignment was for each student to hook up their laptop to network equipment and run some diagnostics. I could see my classmate was having issues so after a few minutes I walked over to investigate. I advised him the usb cable will never fit in the ethernet port and that he should try the other ‘hole’ instead.
Pulled his pants down below his butt because it was ‘fashionable’ at the time but accidentally pulled his underwear down also. So he was just standing there, in the main hallway of our highschool talking with his friends, mooning everyone behind him.
This was back at my home dropzone. The DZ owner actually owned the entire airport and the land it sat on. To help offset the cost he rented out the parts of the property to local farmers to grow crops. That year there was corn, really really tall corn as it was a wet year that bordered the north side of the landing area.
Not a big deal as the landing area was very large. Well, one of the local Skygods (idiot that thinks they’re cool, but they’re just an idiot and has an attitude about it) thought that it would be fun to do a hook turn in to the corn…
For those of you that have been in corn fields, yes you are guessing correctly on what happened next.
You see, do such a low and aggressive turn under a parachute generates a LOT of speed and he generated that speed… So he goes out over the corn, hooks the parachute dives into the corn. Those of us watching were highly entertained seeing a parachute traveling just above the tassels of the corn at a high rate of speed for an impressive distance. The guy burst out of the corn field onto the landing area rolling head over heels and came to a stop in a quivering lump.
He had multiple lacerations, contusions, and his gear was in such bad shape he had to send it back to the respective manufacturers for repair.
He never jumped there again and I’m not sure he ever went back to skydiving. Probably for the best.
I watched a guy pee on an electric fence! That was a fun day.
in college, a group of sorority girls ran up on this guy’s motorcycle and started doing an impromptu pin up girl style photoshoot on it. for the finale she spread her legs out. then they ran off. this was in public.
