I don’t know how common it is today, but I know when I was growing up there was a ton of pressure on us to know what we wanted to do forever by the time we were in high school. It was so bad that I went into a depressive shut-down, with weeks of barely eating or talking to anyone. Adults would try to reassure me with, “Nobody knows what they want to do by your age,” yet simultaneously I was told, “You need to go to college so you don’t flip burgers forever.” College comes along with needing to declare a major, which means deciding what you want to focus on despite being so young. So I don’t need to know, but I do need to know? Very, very confusing.

The school system has been failing for a long time. I saw the writing on the wall in the early 00s and wanted nothing to do with a system that seemed to be more about extracting money and wasting time than anything else. Thankfully, like you, I love learning! I never stopped picking up skills and challenging my mind, and in a world of emergent AI it’s become more important than ever to keep exercising one’s brain.

In the end, I’d say you’re probably less alone than you feel. A lot of people who seem confident about what they plan to do are either doing what they’re told, or taking on a “fake it til you make it” mentality. Check back on them in ten years and see how many of them actually stuck to their plan - it will be surprising. A lot changes in one’s 20s. Friends drift apart (physically and psychologically) as they begin their independent journey through life.

I get the impression that I don’t need to tell you not to fall for social media where people only show their best selves, but it bears noting. Comparing one’s self to others is a surefire way to make one feel bad about themselves, and social media exacerbates that trend. As you see friends going on and doing things, try to remember the old phrase, “The grass is always greener on the other side.” Some of them are hiding their struggles, and may secretly envy you and your decisions, even if they don’t tell you so.

Anyway, just keep up learning topics that interest you. The idea of a “dream job” is propaganda, and by admitting it doesn’t exist for you, you help show it for the bullshit idea it is. Not everyone dreams of working. Not everyone should dream of working. There’s nothing wrong with finding a job that supports you (which I do recommend, as you really never know what can happen) while finding meaning and fulfillment from things that don’t make you money.

I didn’t have the choice of not working, and housewife seems a job too, just an unpaid one. So yes in the sense of being motivated by survival, I aspire to make money, but not on a ladder or anything. Every year at the employee eval meeting “what do you want?” “Good interesting work, good pay, flexibility.”

School was dreadful until college, which was not as bad. Even if you hated school, you might not hate university. I wouldn’t say I liked it but it was not bad.

Such unconditional support, while truly wonderful on it’s own, comes with the risk of limiting your perspectives and experiences on what the world and people are like.

With that said, I am 37 yrs young and I never once thought “I wanna be X/Y/Z” while growing up. I just studied what appealed to me (Japanese language) and took any and all jobs that I could find, completely unrelated to Japanese, since the language on it’s own doesn’t really open any venues. Now I’m a parole office wtf xD

I’ve never had any dream job or aspirations on getting to a high level. I sort of ended up being a truck driver, then I sort of accidentally started my own car mechanic business, I got enough of that and returned to truck driving.

I love history, I read all the time. I’ve been writing a history book, mostly for my own enjoyment. If I finish it, I’ll probably print a small amount of it and force them on my friends and family.

I don’t think its important to have career targets or goals but I do feel like its important to do something. If you have the means and finances to just hang out and learn stuff on your own, thats great. But with that freedom comes the risk of sort of closing yourself out of the world. Having a job or a hobby that gets you out of the house will keep that from happening.

I was basically done with aspirations after uni. After that I went where I felt I was needed. That means there’s always issues, but it also gives purpose.

My mum says she still does not know what she want to be when she grows up. She is now a retiree.

I mostly wanted a job where I make decent money, and have a solid work-life balance.

I work on fire alarm systems.

I’m definitely like that as well - even when I was pursuing my Master’s degree I was dreaming of retirement. I eventually found an easy, well-paying job that lets me work from home, so I’m set.

The issue for me was that, like many Americans, I tied my identity to my career, so I felt embarrassed that I wasn’t motivated enough to have something interesting to report in my work life. That led to me being unmotivated in seeking out non-work-related activities as well, like hanging out with friends or trying new hobbies. I just sat around wasting my life simply because I didn’t want to do anything with my job.

Eventually I realized that my life and my job were separate things, and that I could have as engaging of a life as I want without needing to have an engaging career. Now I pursue hobbies that interest me, and I spend time with friends and family, and when someone asks “So, what do you do?” I give them a nothing answer because that means nothing to me.

It’s totally fine to not have any career goals, but ask yourself whether that means you want to have no goals at all, or whether you’re making the incorrect assumption that your career is your life. Maybe you’ve already figured all this stuff out, and have a list of things you want to do in life that have no relation to your job, but this revelation was a big turning point for me, so I felt like I should share, just in case.

I recommend continuing to learn skills, trying new things, volunteering, etc. Parents seem supportive so that’s great. Just be able to support yourself independently because nothing is guaranteed. Especially how people will treat you as you get older.

You want to be a housewife but not depend on a man? How does that work?

I think most people feel that way.

You didn’t write your age, but I assume you’re around 18 from your username and the description. I’m in my late twenties, and working as a software developer. It took me most of my twenties of just trying different things, and studying on and off, before I figured out what direction to go in career wise. It’s worked out well for me in the end, but I am completely open to changing my mind and changing course later, in case I no longer like it, or I wanna do something else. Like you, no particular career really had a strong appeal to me when I was a teenager. That’s fine. I don’t think it matters a great deal what, specifically, you do at the start of adulthood. What matters is that you do something. Whether that’s pursuing a degree, or working some random job, or trying to start your own business, or traveling to do volunteer work, etc. If you wanna be a housewife, I’m sure you’ll find a partner you can do that with eventually. But until then, I think you’d be denying yourself of a lot of personal growth by not taking on some form of full time occupation (once you’re done with school, of course). Basically, you’ll figure out the specifics as you go along, and you’ll probably find out what career appeals you to when you’ve tried a few types of jobs.

[off topic?]

“Discover What You Are Best At” by Linda Gail. A series of self tests assess your skills and a list of jobs that use your skills.

It pointed me at a career I’d never even considered.

I always thought that I just hated working, I found out that having the right job makes all the difference.

As a person who has two kids and does a lot of playing and house work, if that’s what you love then do it. But fuck, I prefer the cubicle.

My kids are great, but everything is so repetitive and mandatory. Laundry HAS to get done. Shopping. Cleaning. Cooking. Even when you’re sick because your partner has their responsibilities too. You don’t get a lot of autonomy.

It’s a lot.

I’m with the other commentator - you sound young. Nothing wrong with that, but our brains don’t fully form until 27.

When I turned 27, the pop of me pulling my head out of my ass was heard by rural farmers in India. I’m now 40, and I wish I knew now what I knew then, so badly.

This is a very long winded way to say, don’t paint yourself into a corner with dislike of formal education. Figure out what it’s about it that you don’t like and work to find a way to address or at least cope with it. Online courses are fine to learn things but they aren’t widely recognized by employers, should you wish to work.

One of the things I learned and pass on to my mentees is that it’s often the experience we don’t like that’s the most valuable. That doesn’t mean suffer unnecessarily, but if you are in a tough spot learn what you can from it. In my case, I hated working with contactors, but that work is what got me a much better job where I’m home all the time.

Think about the best version of yourself and what that looks like. What are the major goals you need to meet to get there? What are those goals broken down into? How do you know if you met your smaller goals? Your objective (best version) is met though sequential steps and measurable progress