I already wrote everything out on a different comment but I wanna do an update and ask for advice
I kinda autismed my way into a date and I think I have an online girlfriend now???
I made a friend who is single who I met a couple days ago, and we were texting and she said that she’s a barista or something so I asked if she would show me how to work the coffee machines in a VRChat world and she agreed.
She had to take her estrogen shot and it happened to be my estrogen day too so we both took out estrogen on a discord call together.
Then we made matching strawberry iced drinks and were sitting together at a booth, we started chitchatting about jobs and college and stuff and how bad the state of computer science jobs are when she said “this isn’t really the kinda thing that you’re supposed to talk about on a date” jokingly. Then it hit me that you typically don’t just take estrogen together and go to a Starbucks alone platonically.
long story short we ended up falling asleep together watching an anime
she’s so pretty too, I genuinely have no idea how I managed to do this 😭😭
edit: come to think of it, she did ask me if I’m T4T (trans for trans) the other day…
she also is like an hour away from me too
so uh… idk what to do chat. I kinda just did it by accident. I’ve never been in a relationship before and especially not one as a woman, idk what to do 😭
should I ask to meet up irl, or keep it online for a while? if we do meet up, what would we do?
what’s the normal person thing to do in this situation?
From what I’ve experienced when connecting through daring apps, is if I feel there’s a click, meeting irl is a good idea. See if the click is also there when meeting. If not, you have a nice friendly meet up, no harm done, maybe there’s a nice new friendship instead. If there is a click, it’s a start of something beautiful.
Keeping it online for too long has the risk of contact dying out after a while. So if you’re in a flow with connecting, step it up to irl and if the click is still there, you will both know it had a future and you will both know it’s worth investing into it.
So go girl! I’m happy for you!
And about what to do: go grab a coffee, or have a beer or something. Just low key, you don’t want to make it too bombastic the first time. It would put too much pressure and create high expectations. Something simple as a coffee does not do that, but is enough to have a fun time is the click is there. I would also advice to do it close to her place or close to yours, so afterwards you can go watch some anime together, have dinner etc so you can get out of a socal spot with others and be alone together if it feels right. Meeting in the middle makes that harder.
In your case, the only advice you need to follow is that you ought not to follow any advice that has been given to you.
You do you, it worked.
And there’s no goals (i.e. sex) or speed (kiss “now”). Just enjoy the company, talk through, see what are your feelings, don’t pressure yourself into anything (neither pressure the other.)… Love can be like the blossom, it takes its own pace and is all admirable.
PS. Hope it helps. At least, this is what I tell myself, as I started dating someone recently after some months alone and a very lengthy relationship previously. So, I am kinda “fresh” and not knowing what to do. But this strategy has been paying off, and seems the most natural and healthy…
Just be yourself. Think of it as hanging out with a friend. Take it slow, you know, as fast as you both are comfortable. If you want to meet in person, ask her if she wants that too.
It’s not uncommon to meet people by chance and strike up a relationship, so don’t think of it as unusual. Most importantly, have fun and be respectful. :)
Thank you for your kind words, we have decided not to meet up for at least a month but are dating. Last night we tried to watch a show together but she fell asleep like halfway through the episode 🩷
That’s lovely. She’s feeling peaceful with your company :)
Aw, that’s sweet. :) I hope you two have a wonderful relationship. I’m sending good vibes for many happy days ahead.
If it works, it’s not stupid.
Whoops, OP edited.
you typically don’t just take estrogen together and go to a Starbucks alone platonically.
You don’t? I don’t know about the particular significance of taking estrogen together but Starbucks? Why not? Also, this was all in VRChat, yeah?
Anyway, chill. There is no “normal person” thing. You’ve only known her a couple of days, that’s far too early to decide ANYTHING. Continue chatting with her like you would a good friend, get to actually know her. When you do meet eventually irl, do it in a public space. A real Starbucks, I suppose. Or better yet, some local non-chain coffee place. Go from there.
Also, there may be other, better places to post this and ask for relationship advice.
Allen keys are nowhere near food-safe, it needs to be said.
Other than that, looks like OP is on a roll!Looks like it’s nickel plated, should be fine as long as she doesn’t have an allergy
One thing I noticed once I was in my first date/relationship that although you may have seen hard and fast “rules” or “stages” of dating in media, those really don’t exist in real life :) As long as both you and her are comfortable about what’s going on, and agree on what to call it, dating/relationships can be whatever you like! Hope you’re having fun, sounds like you both are really cute together - enjoy!
More often then not when I get a shake I end up using the straw as a spoon whether it has a spoon lip thing or not because apparently I can’t suck for shit
At home I make shakes with some ice cream and milk, then blend manually using a fork to get a really nice texture I like, then eat the shake with the fork (until I get to the end and I have to drink it normally).
i had milkshakes with a cocktail mixer the other night it was amazing
keep hanging out and if it works out it works out :) t4t relationships are often super honest cus of how intimately trans people know themselves and can be so good feeling (I can confirm I love my trans gf!!!)
just don’t over think it, once you’ve known each other a while (that time varies depending on the people) feel free to confess you like them or however you feel!
personally I asked her out after like 5 days but we also knew each other in high school prior. take that as you will lol. i wish you luck and stay true to yourself :)
