• peoplebeproblems@midwest.social
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    2 days ago

    I don’t get DMs because no one recognizes me.

    I literally walked into a bar with 14-15 men and women from my graduating class. I recognized and named each one. Not a single one of them recognized me.

    I can blend in with a fed, doctor, magat, retail employee, door sales man.

    For a long time the invisibility was painful.

    But recently I realize, it can have a lot of power too.

    • captainlezbian@lemmy.world
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      1 day ago

      I had the opposite problem. 5 years and a new gender after high school people were recognizing me basically immediately. Like I looked pretty different…

      I’ve come to accept that it’s because I have a large and distinct presence, which is a blessing and a curse.

      If you’re ever interested in developing more presence, try performing the role of yourself. It’s the same as being yourself but you ham it up a bit. Exaggerate the fun bits so the audience in the back can see. I noticed I do that instinctively while trying to learn to blend in.

    • EnsignWashout@startrek.website
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      1 day ago

      I’m forced to assume that you are now surprisingly attractive, as well. That’s the way out goes with the person I never noticed in school.

      Of course, part of it might be that my definition of attractive grew up to be a lot healthier than it was when I was a kid.

      • peoplebeproblems@midwest.social
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        1 day ago

        I’m flattered! I have less hair, no beard, and a lot more muscle.

        Unfortunately my ex-wife really fucked with my self-image so I don’t actually know how attractive I am or not. Plus I’m like anti-photogenic, I just can’t get a good picture.