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My chief complaint is only being able to upvote this once, excellent OC 👏
Explanation: A rare bit of OC from me modifying the “Just as the Founding Fathers intended” copypasta.
“Mehercules” is “By Hercules!”, a common Roman exclamation. A gladius is a Roman shortsword, made for stabbing, but as incidents against Greek troops demonstrate, also very capable of lopping off limbs with hacks and slashes. A pilum is a javelin. “Ubi mel, ibi apes” means “Where there’s honey, there’s bees!” A scorpio is a small artillery piece generally used for firing bolts, but sometimes used for specialist ammunition like pots filled with flammable material. Vigiles were Roman town watch/firefighters, and in the city of Rome itself, they actually did maintain some catapults for the purpose of quickly demolishing burning buildings in especially fire-prone areas. Better to lose one building than the whole block! A pugio is a Roman military dagger.
“Conscript Fathers” is another name for the Roman Senate, as the idea was that the Senate was comprised of men who were elderly (and thus the fathers in their household) and regardless of whether or not they willed it. In theory. In practice, becoming a Senator was pretty highly desired, but the Romans did love their false modesty regarding power. “No, no, I couldn’t POSSIBLY accept a position of authority… unless… you were to insist… 👉👈🥺”
Only one problem with this.
A spear is superior to a gladius any day. I will fight on that hill. And win, because I have a spear, obviously.
But wat if you’re indoors and have limited room for maneuver?
He just said he was on a hill…
Break the shaft in half, now you have two spears.
Then you’d probably swing your sword around and get it stuck in the wall and die. Rapiers and polearms are probably better in tight spaces against unarmored opponents. Polearms are just always better in general if you don’t have sword training.
It’s like comparing a shotgun to a AR-15 pistol. Sure, the pistol is more compact, has more power, and will put more rounds downrange, but they’re all going to be in the ceiling if you haven’t trained with it. The shotgun will be more effective.
OP is a veteran legionnaire though, so he has sword training.
That sounds like Gr*ek talk!
Ubi mel, ibi apes = where there is honey, there are bees
That’s a pretty badass thing to say to someone trying to rob your house.
Ikr?
I’d be impressed as hell, and at least salute them as I died from my severed arm bleeding me out
TIL you can say apes for bees in Latin, I only knew apis
Latin words have so many declensions, it’s nightmarish.
This is peak copypasta.
Lost it at scorpio mounted at top of stairs
