“Become a dragon” covers most, if not all, of the rest.
“Huh? Oh… OH!!” Dies instantly
Dragon for sure. It’s getting increasingly embarrassing to be a human…
I’ll take the “talk to plants” potion since it changes LITERALLY NOTHING, and I don’t want any additional powers myself.
Except now you’re wracked with crippling guilt every time you mow the lawn, chop up veggies for dinner, or walk by some poor little scrawny weed growing out of a crack in the sidewalk.
Except plant never developed language or even neurons to process thought. You drink the “Talk to plants” potion and the world is just as silent as it was before.
It was recently discovered that plants do talk to each other. It’s still being studied.
That is really old news. Whole forests do this. But that’s still not talking.
If that’s what a “talk” to plants drink does, I’d love to get a “talk” to humans drink. Imagine the psychology experiments I could set up if I could understand the subconscious pheromone, posture, subvocal, and other various poorly understood methods of communication!
Talk to Plants.
Just so I can tell vegans what their food is saying.
This was my first choice, until I thought of how horrifying the screams would be whenever someone mows the lawn
Fun fact: Plants are still alive when you eat them.
Kinky
