You can have STIs without knowing it. STIs can kill you. No, you are not overreacting

A dumb question. STDs are still rife.

I a guy, and I’ve had a number of hookups, I wouldn’t ever even question someone asking me to wear a condom (though, to be fair, I’d choose to wear one also). You don’t know the other person. Unless you just really get the sense you can trust them, it could all be a lie. Your boundaries aren’t a debate. Honestly, if I were you, I would have kicked them out. If they’re questioning that boundary I wouldn’t want to find out where it ends.

If you want him to wear a condom, he wears a condom. If he wants to wear a condom, he wears a condom. Its that easy.

But specifically for hookups/people you font know that well its proper etiquette to always wear a condom unless discussed otherwise (if you’re both fine with it, and have discussed your health/have recently been tested)

No, absolutely not. Any guy who pushes back against condom use is not worth sleeping with. I’ve been with my BF for years at this point and we still (usually) use condoms because it gives me more peace of mind.

On STDs: some are so sneaky one can get them without even having sex in the first place, and sometimes don’t hurt the person that has it at least in a spectacular way.

“Do I look like some STD-ridden guy?”

“Well, STD-ridden guys tend to refuse condoms. That’s how they got their STDs. So you tell me.”

“Yes, actually. I assume everyone has STDs until they take a test to prove otherwise. It’s just safer that way. You’re literally hooking up with me, so I assume this isn’t the first time you’ve hooked up with someone. Can you vouch for everyone you’ve been with before me? And do you trust everyone I’ve been with before you?”

Like bro, you’re a fool if you’re offended when someone asks you to wear a condom. That is so concerning that I’d never contact him again. Someone who is OFFENDED at being asked to use protection is giant walking red flag.

I’m sorry you even have to ask if you were being too pushy. You weren’t. He was being insane. It’s YOUR body, you get to decide what you’re comfortable with. Never let someone pressure you into being less safe than you want.

You did the right thing in insisting!

Others have said it well but I want to just say that you shouldn’t think of this in terms of “being a pushover”. You were setting boundaries and if those boundaries aren’t being respected, then you shouldn’t be sexually active with that person.

The way he worded his question suggests that actually he might have some STDs. Because he didn’t say, hey, I got tested two months ago and haven’t slept with anyone around then or since. In other words, he could have comforted you on the STD front, but he chose not to, because he was accidentally being honest.

Also, because the two of you don’t know each other that well, it’s better for everyone if both parties are extra safe. Because you just don’t have that long track record.

Not if you like avoiding STDs.

No. The IUD is none of his business. Maybe you don’t want an STD, maybe you dont want to deal with the mess all night…who knows… But it should never be a debate, and if it is, buddy can go find another velvet underground… And yeah, you really cant trust people these days, trust is earned!

STD’s are no joke, wrap it before you tap it.

Speaking as a cishet man, the only time any two people can have unprotected sex is when both parties know the STD status of each other. He has to understand that IUDs are for pregnancy prevention, not STD prevention. If you wish to continue with this guy and at some point you want to start having unprotected sex with him, go get STD tested together. In the meantime, he has to wear the condom. If that bothers him, dump him. Don’t put your body and your life at risk.

No, it’s your body, if you’re not comfortable then you get to draw the line. The fact he argued with you about it is a red flag IMO.