I put on my robe and wizard hat
I cast Lvl. 8 Cock of the Infinite…
You don the flappy body bindings and the pointy cranium cover you looted from the evil wizard you killed a while back. They’re still as comfortable as the day you wiped the blood off them, and they imbue you with a sense of power and a strange urge to rudely prank people and commit mass slaughter.
I read this in Amelia Tyler’s voice.
Not you again!
Go back to sleep in the cozy cabin atmosphere
Ah, you just woke up from a midday nap. For a moment there you were a little confused about where you were; it must’ve been a really good nap. You curl back up on the bench by the broad window out of frame, where the sun was warming your cozy blankets. Just outside, the trees sway gently in the wind, and a herd of deer munch on the grass. Your eyelids grow heavier, and you settle for going back to sleep. There’s nothing going on today, so why not? You deserve it. Soon enough, you fall back into the world of dreams,
GAME OVER
Nice finally my dream comes true. Eternal sleep
To sleep, perhaps to dream?
You just woke up. Why are you going back to sleep? You have to get up eventually. So what are you going to do then? That’s the question.
MASTURBATE
Goddammit that’s what I was gonna do
*the cabin is sentient
That just makes me wank harder.
based and rudeus grayrat pilled
>Take key
You grasp at what you thought was a key at first, until you realize there isn’t a key there. Someone drew a key onto the floor with black chalk. In hindsight you realize you should have noticed that sooner, like before you even reached down towards it, especially since it’s not a particularly well drawn key; you could say it’s rather shit, and you can’t believe you fell for it.
Holy shit, I looked again and can’t believe the picture actually has a badly drawn key on the floor. I thought you were just pulling that out of nowhere.
Holy shit new ARG?
I wonder if the poorly drawn key is a clue. I go looking for a real key, or alternatively, additional drawings similar to the poorly drawn key
You search the cabin top to bottom, searching for keys, real or otherwise, and anything that could hint to the mystery only you are aware of. The only other out of place thing you find is the anvil in the corner, mysteriously out of place, atop which is… another shitty drawing of a key. God dammit, who’s making these? You start to feel an insoluble sense of rage at this mysterious key perpetrator, but there’s no finding them unless you can leave the cabin. No one else is in here but you, that much you’re aware of.
I want to make sure if I can leave the cabin. I check if the door will open. If not, I check for other potential ways to leave the cabin.
“I don’t like this game.”
>Quit
Error: Insufficient permissions. This attempt has been logged
Quit? What do you mean, quit? You’re not sure where the thought came from, or even what game you’re talking about. Confused, you wander outside, whereupon you find a tree stump with a harpoon stuck inside of it.
You revisit your earlier thoughts. Perhaps you do know what you meant by quit. Really, you always knew. After all, you said it yourself; you don’t like this game of life. You’re free of the cabin, yet you feel more trapped than ever. There is only one conclusion; your loneliness is your true prison.
There’s only one thing left to do, isn’t there?
GAME OVER
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ - “It’s like the unofficial sequel to Disco Elysium.”
When does this game come to Steam?
Sigh in relief as I don’t hear anyone saying “Hey, you! You’re finally awake! You were caught trying to cross the border!”
Go back to sleep
Crank the hog
I say “pspspspspspsps”
You whisper the ultimate cat call. It echoes over the empty cabin; nothing happens, and a profound sense of loss washes over you. You walk over to the shelf by the window and run your hand over it, staring at the one particularly worn spot on it for a moment. You walk over and check the litter box, but of course it’s clean. It always is nowadays. Old habits die hard after all. You cook yourself some breakfast and take a seat at the table, and try the call again. Nothing happens, as expected, not even when you open a can of tuna. Old habits die hard, but they die eventually. You spread the tuna on your bread and eat your meal, alone in the silence.
What the fuck dude
I came here for rpg, not
:.|:;
Roll initiative
Open all chests and drawers!
You have disturbed a mimic disguised as a jewelry box. It snaps and almost separates you from the fingers on your right hand.
A friend! =D
Judge their book collection obviously
The books are all well maintained and free of dust. Whoever owns these books takes great care of them, as not even the shelves they’re sitting on are dirty. Despite that, they show no signs of wear and tear, as though they were bought from the store, placed directly on the shelf, and never read. Weirdly, none of the sides of the books have titles written on them; as you take the first one down to have a look through it, it catches on something. A little force, and the book tilts forward; an audible kachunk rings through the room, muffled by the walls.
The book falls free after the noise, revealing a strange mechanism behind it, built into the wall behind the shelf and fed through a hole in the back of said shelf; a lever of some kind? In any case, the book itself isn’t all that interesting. It goes into incredible detail about the aerodynamics of butterfly wings and various experiments and extrapolations regarding their ability to cause hurricanes. Roll perception.
Perception check failed.
The book is nothing more than what it is; a book about butterflies. You’re quite sure there’s no hidden code or secret key inside, not even one you’re not able to detect. You mean, who would even go through the effort of making such a detailed report just to hide something, right?
In any case, you turn around and find the front door open. It’s strange, you think. Seeing the outdoors, the trees and the grass. You were sure you’d never be getting out of here, and yet there is is, the open door.
I’m taking some of the books. Sorry.
Relax for the first time in my life
I open the front door to take a look around. There is another room of the cabin. I look out the window. It’s a painted scene. I remove it. More cabin. I panic. I look up the chimney and see another fireplace. I tear out a floorboard and see through a ceiling. All that there is, is cabin. I take my first level in Wizard. We’re plane shifting up in this bitch. It would be very cozy if I had the option to leave and return at will.
Look around to see if I can rummage up the necessary implements to brew a pot of tea.
I think "What a beautiful cabin! I will then enjoy the warm comfy feeling I get from the warm sunlight coming in.
Then I get up, start talking to myself as if this is some super special event happening right now, and walk around to look for someone.