I really like watch porn videos of women saying very humilating and degrading things about me because I love feeling like I’m a loser, Inadequate and worthless.
But I don’t want tell my future wife or girlfriend that I’m into this because it’s so embarrassing. How do I get rid of this kink?
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If this kind of play makes you truely happy Im sure you can find someone willing to be your dom. A lot of women are way kinkyer than they ever let on.
If you want to kick the fetish then just stop engaging with it. Make it off limits and find other things you like that are more socially accepted.
If you are kinky and are feeling bad about I would highly recommend you start listening and reading to my boy Dan Savage America’s longest running sex-advice columnist. Hearing and understanding other people’s kinks will put your own into perspective and you will understand that the only thing typical about human sexuality is how atypical it is. Almost everyone has at least 1 “non-normative sexual desires” so keep that it mind.
How do you get rid of kink? You don’t. You can’t. You can try but it will always come back. So you will need to understand this about yourself and accept it. Sexuality has been keep our species alive and fucking since before we were Homo sapiens. You can’t fight it.
There is a potential to pivot a kink if you understand what it is about the kink that turns you on. If you are interested in humilating and degrading the root of this may just be a power exchange. Power exchange is pretty typical and almost all kinks have an aspect of that which may fulfill that itch for in person sex. You also can keep a kink to yourself even in a relationships. So you might be “out” about being into a submissive role but not share you are in degradation with your partner.
If you are interested in learning more I would recommend you read The New Bottoming Book and the The New Topping Book by Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy. (Note the cover change in these pdfs). They will really open your eyes about how kinks are not some curse but a fun quirk of your sexuality’s that gives your partners something fun to play with. Congratulations have Fun.
Find a Domme into as well be with her and be happy ?
The more common the kink, the more porn of it there is. You’ll be ok. Everyone wants a spanking sometime.
Well, it depends. Is it at all appealing when you’re not horny? Or is it only during horny you find it appealing. If the latter, stop watching it. If it’s the former you can’t, it’s part of you and you’re probably going to have to find a way to be okay with it. I’m kind of into it to an extent but I draw the line at things that actually hurt my self-esteem. It could also be it’s only part of it you find appealing.
Edit: It could also just be a fantasy and you’d hate if you actually tried it irl. I think I know how you feel. It’ll be okay regardless.
Edit Skip all of this and just think about the fact that plenty of normal women love the Twilight series… and yet the way women are treated in the book is… om… well I mean the point is it is a FANTASY and to judge it as something else is to fundamentally, seriously misunderstand it. Don’t hurt yourself by refusing to see the nuance to the way you feel you are driven to irrational desires, see the subversion, agency and love that comes from engaging with the parts of yourself that never want to exist as a reality.
Look, the reason you call it is a “kink” is because it is something you find oddly attractive and yet also don’t actually literally want (as in the person actually really meant it to hurt you and didn’t say it as part of an intense roleplay).
We normally call these things “fantasies” in the rest of life when we strip the idea of sexuality and the thing about a fantasy is that it is contained within a bubble of your imagination and consent.
If don’t want your future wife or girlfriend to humilate you, yeah of course… but if she is doing it in a way that she knows turns you on and it is under an umbrella of consent… that is none of the business of the judgemental sides to ourselves no matter how easy it is to make a deragotory joke about it being disgusting or depraved, because it is just sex that isn’t our business at that point.
Remember, the number 1. rule about consentual sex between adults is.
- It is none of your damn business what we do it and how we do it
hold up.
you have a humiliation kink and you’re afraid you’re going to be too humiliated to let your partner know?
bruh, that’s a level of simp I’ve never even thought of. you’re like the simp god. lean into that shit and find you someone that will treat you like the piece of trash you know you are, because you deserve it.
I agree with Scranulum, this definitely isn’t an appropriate response. They’re asking for help and advice and you’re throwing it in their face and making a joke of it.
so instead of ignoring it and providing your own opinion you take attention away from OP and chastise me in an attempt to “teach me a lesson”.
yeah, that makes sense.
I gave my opinion. you clearly don’t like it. that’s fine with me. I don’t care much for your opinions either.
Okay, this confirmed you actually are just trying to bait people. I’m a little slow so it went over my head at first.
how am I baiting people? I made a comment, you responded to me and continue to attack me. if anything you’re baiting me.
Why would you assume it to be appropriate to attempt humiliating someone, even as a joke, just because you happened to discover they were into consensual practice of the kink? Super fucking weird bro. Would you just tie a random person up without asking them if they mentioned they were into rope bondage?
Jesus Christ, get over yourself.
you want an answer to your question then ask yourself this, did I honestly assume my feeble attempt to chastise a complete degenerate on the internet would result in my expected outcome?
By calling it “[your] expected outcome” I believe you’ve answered your own question there.
Consent is important, dickweed. Cry about it.
I’m not the one whinging on about it like a bitch, am I?
OP asked for advice, not horny role play. You leaning into their kink is icky at best.
and you getting icked out by a response that wasn’t even directed at you is pathetic and screams “snowflake”, what’s your point?
I gave op advice. I told them to find themselves someone who would accept them for who they are. why are you getting so butthurt over a stupid comment on the internet? are you some kind of righteous white knight that feels an injustice has occurred and now you feel a strong sense of responsibility to put me in my place?
Nah the thing you’re trying to describe is just basic social awareness.
I’d bet there are plenty of girls out there who can be a great loving partner and also make you feel like a loser when you want it. Instead of hiding your kink and trying to push it down, find a partner who likes you and your kink.
Double down and explore it, I say. Maybe you find out bdsm is your thing. We can’t choose our kinks.
It’s not something you need to get rid of, but if you really want to move past it the best way is to actually explore it psychologically. You say you like humiliation play because you love feeling like you’re worthless. Makes sense, sure, but why? What is it about feeling worthless that feels good?
Is it genuine worry in real life that you can safely explore in a sexual fantasy? Do you feel sometimes inadequate but can’t talk to friends openly about it, so having someone attractive criticise you but still not leave you relieves a fundamental rejection anxiety?
Is it that part of you is arrogant and looks down on some others as losers, but you don’t consciously approve of that behaviour, so the kink lets you ‘play the victim’ and feel better about your elitism?
If you spend a bit of time actually confronting the deeper thoughts behind a kink, it can remove a bit of the forbidden tension, and leave it as something you can still enjoy if you want, or move beyond, or find a more acceptable form that still presses the same buttons. Or just find a girlfriend who’s into it!
I have always felt that I’m a loser and very Inadequate. Because I’m 27 year old and I have never even been on a date and I got made fun of alot for my appearance throughout highschool. So I guess that why watching porn videos of hot women verbally humilating me and degrading is such a turn on for me.
Also, if you’re really lucky you might discover that your fantasy isn’t actually that exciting in real life.
Or maybe it’s really a normal healthy kink that you could be exploring further.
I’d advise you to go to Fetlife, look for munches near you, go there and get the vibe of the people. Go several times because vibes can change from week to week.
You should be able to learn there that the people there aren’t freaks but normal people. That what you’re feeling is normal and that you’re not the only one. And most importantly that you’re not an ugly loser but also a normal person.
Don’t go there with the expectation of finding a sexual partner. These are supposed to be safe spaces where one can go to exchange feelings and knowledge. Also don’t go there with the expectation that everyone will be talking about sex and BDSM and fetishes all the time. Often enough they talk about all kinds of things.
If you’re lucky your munch has some kind of way of onboarding new people. The organisers are the right people to talk to. They are usually very nice and not judgemental.
You can’t. Eh, it could be a lot worse. The best you can do is just accept it.
Everyone saying, “You can’t, you can’t…” Idk. Just try, if you want. You don’t know until you try.
It’s hard to say exactly how it happened, but if I had to guess, it’s something that just kind of took root & blossomed during porn watching. While your brain is being flooded with dopamine & rewarding you, which then causes you to seek out more of the same. Maybe it’s partially a shock factor thing, sometimes shock & disgust can sexually turn people on.
But I agree with that one guy, this is something that needs to be psychologically explored & understood. Do some research, see a shrink. Maybe they can shed some light on why you feel this way, why that turns you on.
You really have to feel good in your own body and see yourself as someone who can be healthy about that. I guess you like the thrill of relating to these type of videos, but some day you’ll wish for normalcy. Boredom, even.
