I’m diagnosed dyslexic which, when reading aloud, sends me into a stutter to full embarrassed apologies. When reading to myself, I’ll make it 10 pages before I realize I didn’t read shit. I’m never getting laid in your hypothetical world.
I got a date secured and it dawned on me that I am NOT ready to have a date over. Like you ever realize how many things you gotta take care of that you stopped paying attention to?
Like fine, clear your counters, sweep the floor, clean the bathroom, replace the burnt out light bulb, clean sheets on bed, on box spring, on bedframe, shampoo carpets, dust shelves, put away clean clothes, wash dirty clothes, check your fingernails, check your ear and nose hair, your regular hair, make sure they don’t have allergies, etc, etc.
Im ok with not getting laid I don’t have the energy to go to work, do all that shit, panic for a week about the date, have fun at the date, play the social awkward dance of “more, not more” and potentially end up having her see that I’m an absolute disaster?
I don’t know if it’s just my neurodivergencies speaking, but that’s wayy too much. No way I’d ever do that, nor expect someone to do that for me. Basic things such as clean sheets and cleaning yourself? Sure. Dusting shelves, shampooing carpets, making sure everything is perfectly order, and other less important things like that? No I find that excessive and exhausting (although I don’t like or have carpets in the first place). If someone comes over to visit they better be satisfied with a dryer rack full of clean clothes
But I’m definitively someone that does not care about the dance, as you call it. It’s too exhausting. And as we’re all bogged down by too much work, mental health issues, and/or neurodivergencies and disabilities… what purpose does it serve? All it ends up doing is make us more isolated because we feel like we have to present ourselves as “perfect” for other people. If we can’t actually feel comfortable in a social situation with someone and actually relax and reduce our stress… something has gone wrong.
Like yes, don’t have moldy food in the counter, but some dirty dishes in the sink are fine, you know?
But again, maybe it’s because I’m more entrenched in neurodivergent/disability culture. I don’t hold this kinda stuff against people, and I hope they don’t hold it against me back. I know how hard it can be. I think it’s much nicer when we can accept, and enjoy time with, imperfect humans, than always expect and demand perfect humans. Especially when none of us are perfect in reality.
Yeah, I have SO many rescue animals, it’s hard to explain to normal people. Multiple dogs with all sorts of problems, a few parrots, an angry hedgehog, two cats, and my vet’s first call to foster (almost anything). They are all well taken care of and clean but there’s a… smell.
I’m also holding Balthazar, a bark scorpion, against his will for invading Pretty Kitty Pepper’s land. Balthazar is kept well and fed a steady diet of pinheads. When he eats, it looks like a dot matrix printer in reverse. That’s the one creature in the house most people freak out about the most, but they would all be wise to fear the parrots.
I had a friend who was married to a veteranarian who worked with exotic animals. They were constantly fostering bird rescues. He told me once he fell asleep on the couch and woke up as a parrot was reaching for his glasses. He said he knew this bird wouldn’t intentionally hurt him but seeing a 4-year-old child with a can opener on its face reaching for him was pretty scary.
Yeah routine self-management/self-care is something many people are looking for in a partner. At a minimum. Good on you for knowing. I actually live alone now, and I find those things are much easier to take care of without someone else’s clutter adding to the cacophony. Also, where things used to pile up I use baskets.
Where things used to pile up I use a large pile, so you got me beat. We got this pile in the garage and when I proposed to my wife I showed it to her and said “one day all this junk could be yours”
I’m diagnosed dyslexic which, when reading aloud, sends me into a stutter to full embarrassed apologies. When reading to myself, I’ll make it 10 pages before I realize I didn’t read shit. I’m never getting laid in your hypothetical world.
Who am I kidding? I’m not getting laid as is.
Man idk
I got a date secured and it dawned on me that I am NOT ready to have a date over. Like you ever realize how many things you gotta take care of that you stopped paying attention to?
Like fine, clear your counters, sweep the floor, clean the bathroom, replace the burnt out light bulb, clean sheets on bed, on box spring, on bedframe, shampoo carpets, dust shelves, put away clean clothes, wash dirty clothes, check your fingernails, check your ear and nose hair, your regular hair, make sure they don’t have allergies, etc, etc.
Im ok with not getting laid I don’t have the energy to go to work, do all that shit, panic for a week about the date, have fun at the date, play the social awkward dance of “more, not more” and potentially end up having her see that I’m an absolute disaster?
Nah I’m good.
I don’t know if it’s just my neurodivergencies speaking, but that’s wayy too much. No way I’d ever do that, nor expect someone to do that for me. Basic things such as clean sheets and cleaning yourself? Sure. Dusting shelves, shampooing carpets, making sure everything is perfectly order, and other less important things like that? No I find that excessive and exhausting (although I don’t like or have carpets in the first place). If someone comes over to visit they better be satisfied with a dryer rack full of clean clothes
But I’m definitively someone that does not care about the dance, as you call it. It’s too exhausting. And as we’re all bogged down by too much work, mental health issues, and/or neurodivergencies and disabilities… what purpose does it serve? All it ends up doing is make us more isolated because we feel like we have to present ourselves as “perfect” for other people. If we can’t actually feel comfortable in a social situation with someone and actually relax and reduce our stress… something has gone wrong.
Like yes, don’t have moldy food in the counter, but some dirty dishes in the sink are fine, you know?
But again, maybe it’s because I’m more entrenched in neurodivergent/disability culture. I don’t hold this kinda stuff against people, and I hope they don’t hold it against me back. I know how hard it can be. I think it’s much nicer when we can accept, and enjoy time with, imperfect humans, than always expect and demand perfect humans. Especially when none of us are perfect in reality.
Yeah, I have SO many rescue animals, it’s hard to explain to normal people. Multiple dogs with all sorts of problems, a few parrots, an angry hedgehog, two cats, and my vet’s first call to foster (almost anything). They are all well taken care of and clean but there’s a… smell.
I’m also holding Balthazar, a bark scorpion, against his will for invading Pretty Kitty Pepper’s land. Balthazar is kept well and fed a steady diet of pinheads. When he eats, it looks like a dot matrix printer in reverse. That’s the one creature in the house most people freak out about the most, but they would all be wise to fear the parrots.
Pretty Kitty Pepper for reference
Hey my cat’s favorite hobby is trying to give me pink eye by farting at my face. Your place probably smells better than any room he’s in.
I had a friend who was married to a veteranarian who worked with exotic animals. They were constantly fostering bird rescues. He told me once he fell asleep on the couch and woke up as a parrot was reaching for his glasses. He said he knew this bird wouldn’t intentionally hurt him but seeing a 4-year-old child with a can opener on its face reaching for him was pretty scary.
Hmmm. I have a cat and an 8yo ADHD boy.
There’s a smell, and stuff everywhere. So yeah, you get it. I don’t live in a barn, but it sure does feel like it some days.
Yeah routine self-management/self-care is something many people are looking for in a partner. At a minimum. Good on you for knowing. I actually live alone now, and I find those things are much easier to take care of without someone else’s clutter adding to the cacophony. Also, where things used to pile up I use baskets.
Where things used to pile up I use a large pile, so you got me beat. We got this pile in the garage and when I proposed to my wife I showed it to her and said “one day all this junk could be yours”
I need more baskets
Show me the progress of your most recently opened audiobook.