The boss walks in, there’s someone on the phone for you:
- Phone: “Hi, I’m the leader person behind that book/television/film franchise you complain about online and gee-whiz, you’re right! We want you to run things from here on out.”
- You: “Do I get supreme retcon powers?”
- Phone: “Of course! We’ll even retroactively edit in your changes!”
Huh, that was easy. What are you changing?
Command and Conquer - the Tiberium Saga. Leave Tiberian Sun and Firestorm alone, modify C&C 3 to have better continuity with Tib Sun and Firestorm on the state of Earth (i.e. Tiberium Fauna and Flora, further degradation of Earth environment). Remake C&C 4 where base building is part of the core gameplay element again, and delay the deus ex machina effect of the Tacitus such that the Earth is not in such a pristine state as what we do see in C&C 4
Do I also have unlimited money? What am I saying, the BBC is obviously swimming in money. Undo everything until shortly before the Doctor regenerates into David Tennant again and instead commission Studio Ghibli to do a 26 episodes series based on my Doctor Who comic about 13 and Rose, voiced of course by Jodie Whittaker and Billie Piper.
No, I don’t at all hate everything since Jodie left, I just prefer my vision, that’s all. :D
Okay, I am a merciful god - if the BBC have to watch their budget this year, we just undo The Power of the Doctor.
The Master’s plan is now not simply to swap clothes with the Doctor (???) but to actually swap faces. Jodie gets to be the Master and go bonkers on the universe while the Sacha Dhawan!Doctor has to convince Yaz (cue lesbian confusion) that he really is the Doctor and then go after the Master. At the end of TPotD, the Jodie!Master still regenerates into David Tennant (wearing 13’s clothes for fuck’s sake) and the 60th Anniversary is about how the Master uses the Doctor’s most popular face to absolutely ruin their reputation in all of time and space.
(Donna, after having her memory forcefully restored, instantly clocks that this is not the Doctor she knows but is forced to accompany him because he is threatening her daughter. She complains loudly about everything he does.)
In the end, the Doctor still regenerates into Ncuti and we’ll see where to go from there.
… can 13 and Yaz at least have the chastest of kisses on the lips before the end? That’d be fine too…
Hmm, I’ll have to run it by the head office but I think unlimited money should be okay. (and heck yes, I’m down with this vision)
Nnnnnoice. 🤩
A lot of horror movie franchises would get retcon or some installments would outright be axed.
Friday the 13th would not need to go on for 10 movies. Get rid of Parts 9, 3, 5, X and 8. This is now going to be a compressed, coherent movie series of 5 movies where we attempt to establish a better comprehensible story involving Jason. Kane Hodder is the staple actor of Jason.
Nightmare on Elm Street, going to cut out Parts 6, 5, 2, and 4. Compress and re-write the story while retaining elements of selected pieces to build off from. The remake will not have ever happened. Freddy vs Jason would still happen but it would be involving the original creators of both Nightmare on Elm St and Friday the 13th and Kane Hodder will star as Jason. No cop out ending like the original version got, but the victor would not only be decided by final battle but also body count.
Halloween, take out 3, 4, H20, 2, 5, Resurrection and all of the Rob Zombie directed ones. Retcon.
Scream, that movie series feels more like a trilogy movie so that’s what it is going to be instead of all of these unnecessary installments.
Final Destination, same thing.
Saw, same thing as I felt the series ended beautifully with three movies but went entirely off the rails in later installments.
Puppet Master, I would honestly keep to 5, get rid of all of the ones where they focused too much on the Nazi stuff and the clash they had with Demonic Toys.
Leprechaun, just get rid of the ones where he entangles with the Hood and obviously the space one and max the series out at 2 films.
Hellraiser, keep it to two movies.
All of the Kelvin-verse Star Trek movies and all Disney-canon Star Wars content.
.......Except for Andor and Rogue One. That shit is tight.
I agree about the start ears stuff after watching Andor I was like F the Jedi story line, I want more of this!
I don’t mind kelvin since it’s its own universe. Also I think it got lots of people into trek. The 09 movie is what got me started on the series and now I’ve seen it all many times over.
But why the kelvin universe, it already is its own canon
Yeah, that’s easy to ignore, if you insist. Not even a mention of the whole Picard disaster? Weird.
This one’s easy, Warhammer 40k, and all the nonsense about primaris and guilliman returning.
We’re bringing back Sliders without a reboot.
It was the real Arturo that got left behind in “Post Traumatic Slide Syndrome”, and Remy ends up finding him again after his cliffhanger solo slide.
Working with Arturo, they manage to get a slidegate up and running to go back for the others. They also find a dying copy of Quinn along the way who has some valuable Kromagg info and end up merging him into Mallory like the accident that melded our Quinn into him, in a last-ditch effort to save him. The presence of this third Quinn, who is almost like the original, outweighs Mallory so we have Jerry O’Connell back in the cast.
The gang all back together, they go to deliver the Kromagg bio-weapon in Remy’s blood and succeed. It’s now slowly spreading across all worlds. But the Kromagg big bad they’re fighting during this process sets off some kind of nuke inside a slide-tunnel, destabilizing the entire thing and basically scrambling sliding across all worlds. Even if you knew how to precisely connect to a world before, it goes somewhere else now.
And now we’re back to the classic formula, we can do whatever we want from here.
I give Monolith Soft the funding and popularity needed to be able to create all 6 originally planned Xenosaga games instead of the 3 we got
