A “family size” bag of Doritos is not sized for a family. Or I on my own count as a family.
“Military Grade” is not the flex that civilians think it is.
A “family size” bag of Doritos is not sized for a family. Or I on my own count as a family.
It’s enough for a family because the portion sizes are like 4 chips.
Military grade
This one is funny to me because the military commonly goes with the lowest bidder. So I take it to mean that “military grade” is absolute garbage made by the lowest bidder.
When I see “military grade”, I think “use it once to blow somethink up”
“Military grade” means “made by the cheapest contractor available, using sub-par materials, to juuuuuust meet the bare minimum requirements set by the government”.
It’s like when housing developers advertise that all of their houses are “built to code”. Congrats, building code is the bare minimum requirement for the house to be considered habitable. It needs to be up to code to be able to sell. Someone advertising that a house is “built to code” is saying “we would build this worse if we were legally allowed to do so, but the law says we weren’t allowed to cut any more corners and still pass an inspection.”
Organic. Lol.
Real cheese
How whip cream is keto because the serving size is 1/2 teaspoon (5mL) and it’s less than 1 calorie (1kcal).
LOL
“Organic” produce, like there could possibly be another kind
Organic means grown without lab made pesticides and fertilizers.
If the farm is NOP certified then that’s what it means and products will be labeled “USDA Organic.”
However the FDA doesn’t regulate the word “organic” so anyone can just slap the word on a product and call it a day.
“Safe and secure” when it comes to digital transactions. Everything is logged, stored, and saved somewhere where they very often have absolutely fuck all in terms of security and then all that shit is hacked or leaked or otherwise compromised. But its okay, because the government will force them to give you 1 whole year of another bullshit service that does absolutely fucking nothing to protect your data or identity.
“New and improved”. How is it both?
I don’t see an issue with this, things can be an improvement over their previous version and they would be new on release.
Yes! Yes! At most this means a minor modification of what exists.
If the innovations are truly enough to make it so different, its always marketed as a different product
I have been conditioned to think of “Free & Clear” as having no coloring or nasty scents added and then I come across this and was duped
Not so much a lie but jumping on the bandwagon. A lot of traditional products that never had gluten in them to begin with now show “Gluten Free!” on the label, as if they did something good for you rather than simply redesigning a product label.
I feel like in that case it’s more like “We now double-check this food wasn’t made in the same area as foods with gluten”. Cross-contamination can be a pita for celiacs
Companies have gotten better about that over the years, but “gluten-free” products are still sometimes made on shared equipment with wheat which means it’s unsafe for celiacs. My SO is a celiac who only buys foods that are either certified gluten-free or labeled gluten-free and not made on shared equipment.
I honestly do not trust those labels without proof
“Dust-free” cat litter.
Free credit report.
dot com
“No preservatives” - Sugar is a preservative. Salt is a preservative. Vinegar is a preservative. Lemon juice is a preservative.
“Sugar-free” - but they add alternative sweeteners that have a range of other health issues associated with them.
“Cholesterol-free” - I once saw this on a juice container and had a laugh.
What people don’t realise is that with food formulation, what you take out, you have to put something back in to replace it. A low/no sugar product will likely be higher in something else like fat to make it a palatable product… So labels make claims on some things, but will purposely not mention the others.
Cholesterol-free is such a bullshit label anyway because dietary cholesterol doesn’t do anything special to your own cholesterol. You are not a chicken and the egg yolk will not go directly to your bloodstream. Your blood has human cholesterol that you made yourself from the rest of the sugars and fats you ate, digested, converted, stored, and reeconverted.
Let me introduce you to “Gluten Free”. On a sausage.
I give “gluten free” a pass because it’s not always obvious. Some people do have very severe reactions and some products do, unsuspectingly, contain gluten in the form of filler content or for some other mechanical use. Sausage is specifically known to use wheat product as filler and binder. Same for deli meats and veggie burgers. Some places will even throw breadcrumbs into their ground beef for burgers to fake it’s tenderness, so it crumbles like a meatloaf would.
Then there’s seasonings. Potato chips are made from potatoes, right? But not all chips are potato chips. You’d hope a gluten-issue person would be able to identify pita chips or bagged crackers from the chips selection would have gluten, but it turns out, despite being a corn chip, Dorito dust can affect gluten sensitivities. Soy sauce and malt vinegar are issues, and seasoning mixes use flour to help distribution
“Our roll of toilet paper is equivalent to 234 rolls of our competitor’s toilet paper!!!1”
- as compared to one standard economy roll last produced in 1967
Lifetime* Waranty
* For the life of the product
PFAS-free. There is just another similar chemical in it that hasn’t been regulated yet.
Same with BPA free. There are like 200 chemicals in that family, BPA is just one, they just switched to another chemical.
The BPA one is even funnier because it is used very often to coat metal food preservation containers. But thank jeebus we threw out all of those polycarbonate water bottles that contain basically zero BPA. Keep enjoying that canned chili though.
