Moment of clarity? Embarrassed? Lost control of an antagonistic agenda?

  • Underwaterbob@sh.itjust.works
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    2 minutes ago

    I suggested an anime the other day and got downvoted and berated for it not fitting their criteria. Rather than argue my case I just deleted that shit. I love the occasional anime, but holy shit the fans…

  • nastronot@lemmy.zip
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    4 hours ago

    Cause I accidentally commented on a tankie post and I’d rather not be told half a dozen times to off myself.

  • RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world
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    4 hours ago

    I write dumb stuff sometimes. Doesn’t matter why, I just screw up.

    Most of the time I’ll leave the post up. Whatever. I’ll live.

    Sometimes everyone and their cousin needs to reiterate over and over that they disagree with what I wrote. I get tired of the notifications, yeah I know I screwed up, but everyone wants a gold star by their name for telling me so.

    So I delete it. Enough is enough.

    • Pyr@lemmy.ca
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      1 hour ago

      Ya or when you are the voice of logic and reason in a thread that’s about a highly emotionally charged topic.

  • captainlezbian@lemmy.world
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    8 hours ago

    I do it when I realize it’s a comment I don’t want to be associated with. Maybe I realized I was being tone deaf, maybe I realized I was being monumentally stupid, maybe I thought I was being clever until the post posting clarity showed me the light, and maybe I realized I was wading into a fight I don’t want to actually fight.

    I get the people who prefer edits, and if I think an edit is valuable I’ll make it. I’m very much not afraid to edit. But if there’s little interaction with something and I realize it’s something I’d rather not have said, well then I just delete it.

  • TrackenDaKracken@lemmy.world
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    10 hours ago

    If it’s something egregiously wrong, I prefer to edit it and own up to my stupidity.

    If it’s my considered opinion being downvoted, then I take the downvotes and backlash. I stand my ground, unless someone makes a point that enlightens me to consider a different position. Then, I’ll edit the comment to that effect.

    The rare times I delete a post or comment is usually because I’ve posted something demonstrably false that I realized after posting it, or I replied to the wrong comment.

  • beejboytyson@lemmy.world
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    13 hours ago

    Ya I delete a comment or post when I realize I received bad info and are spreading it. If you think you aren’t susceptible you are part of the problem.

    • TrackenDaKracken@lemmy.world
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      10 hours ago

      Better to leave the comment up, and edit it when you realize the problem.

      “The Earth is FLAT! EDIT: Well, apparently, I was misinformed and dupe by idiots. Mea culpa.”

      • beejboytyson@lemmy.world
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        9 hours ago

        And the idiots aren’t even the problem, it’s the disingenuous experts. When your a voice of authority and are spreading misinformation, well that’s the end of humanity.

  • HubertManne@piefed.social
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    10 hours ago

    you know. I think im going to start trying to remember to start all replies to question ones by pasting the question and then answering in a second paragraph.

  • melsaskca@lemmy.ca
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    12 hours ago

    I delete my comments from time to time to cover up the fact that I was horrendously wrong and somewhat stupid for even thinking it. It’s hugely embarrassing and it takes away from my status as an “internet genius”. /s

  • LeftReddit2@lemmy.world
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    22 hours ago

    I used to do this when I was on reddit from 2011-2026.

    I did it because I’m a narcissist. Like actually, I was diagnosed with NPD in 2023. People disagreeing with me physically hurts. I don’t know how to explain it but when a person has a worldview disagreeing with me, it feels like an attack on me and causes this kind of ache in my chest.

    Everything just gets translated to, “Oh, you think this way? God, you’re fucking stupid! I HATE YOU!” We cannot just disagree because my opinions and worldviews are so intrinsically linked with me. My whole world is me looking into a mirror and seeing nothing but my face. If it reflects something else, that’s frightening.

    I obviously am trying to be a better person now and don’t react the same anymore, but in the day that is why I would do it.

    • RandomHugs@lemmy.world
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      14 hours ago

      Damn. Having that knowledge must be some kind of a relief, isn’t? I don’t mean the diagnosis, obviously, but it must have taken up so much of your energy.

    • roofuskit@lemmy.world
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      21 hours ago

      Being a narcissist sound surprisingly like have zero inward confidence and self esteem every time I hear it described. Is that at all accurate?

      • LeftReddit2@lemmy.world
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        5 hours ago

        I’d say so. Deep down, I don’t actually like myself. I’ve said before narcissism is like scar tissue or armor that limits your “range of emotion.” I’m either angry or feeling absolutely nothing.

        • roofuskit@lemmy.world
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          5 hours ago

          I’m sorry to hear that. Thank you for responding and helping me better understand it. I wish you the best in your journey to feel better.

      • Wildmimic@anarchist.nexus
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        12 hours ago

        I have Avoidant Personality Disorder, and from what i have learned and experienced, the main difference between me and someone with NPD seems to be our coping strategy to deal with the low self-value we assign ourselves. While a narcissist makes everything about them to avoid facing their lack of self-worth (replacing the internal issue with external means), i seek to avoid attention because it makes me face my lack of self-worth (the external is what i feel inadequatedly defended against) - this lack is a constant companion for both of us.

        Both conditions show signs of significant distortion of the self-image.

        Both are malfunctioning coping mechanisms - they worked at early development stages in childhood, when they were adaptions to bad conditions - one needed to be attention seeking to an extreme point, while I had to avoid attention to feel safe. Sadly, these frameworks become a lot more problematic as someone grows up, and these things are hard to change at all (not impossible, but it takes a lot of effort. I have been in weekly therapy for at least 25% of my life, and while i have made advancements, i still struggle daily)

        We are both very bad at accepting critique - when i was younger, online comments were able to keep me awake at night, and in-person critique e.g. at work was hell, especially if there’s no time to mentally prepare myself for it. I can understand why we both might just delete everything instead of facing it. Damn, sometimes i have to take a few deep breaths to calm myself before i look at my notifications.

        • roofuskit@lemmy.world
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          5 hours ago

          Thank you for sharing and for providing some insight. I wish you a speedy journey to wellness.

        • captainlezbian@lemmy.world
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          8 hours ago

          From what I’ve heard in all my experiences with folks woth BPD, all y’all in the cluster B have a ton in common internally, just different means of dealing with it. Apparently AvPD is cluster C, so nevermind that bit

          And good on ya for working on it so hard and consistently. While the results do matter, the only thing we should judge people on is whether or not they make a sincere effort, and it sounds like you are.

      • Seralth@piefed.seralth.com
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        14 hours ago

        In a overly simplified way yes. It tends to be more the inability to have self confidence or lacking the natural ego to foster it healthily. So a over correction occurs.

        With out treatment or outside help that results in problematic behavioural responses, and other issues.

        So funny enough the lack of self esteem results in a facade of too much self esteem.

        Again this is GROSSLY over simplifying it and doesn’t even cover some of the more complex expressions of the topic.

        Least this is how it’s been explained to me by phycologists when we where helping my uncle deal with his narcissistic and bipolar disorders.

        That man was a walking mine field of mental issues. Thankfully he’s doing better now, only took 40+ years.

    • Strider@lemmy.world
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      17 hours ago

      Thank you for writing this.

      I’m from the neurodiverse crowd so while I might not be able to relate completely or agree, I can completely relate to the situation of people telling me they understand but behaving in a way that proves they really don’t and really can’t.

      Best wishes for your progress!

    • Dr. Wesker@lemmy.sdf.org
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      21 hours ago

      I disagree.

      EDIT: this was a bad attempt at a joke and insensitive, please accept my apologies

    • teslekova@lemmy.ml
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      20 hours ago

      That has got to suck. Absolute kudos for the self-awareness and working to better yourself, npd can hurt a lot of other people if you let it run wild.

      • LeftReddit2@lemmy.world
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        5 hours ago

        I used to be a conservative, so this has happened to me several times. I used to actually believe in trickle down economics and even supported India when they were almost gonna get rid of the income tax altogether.

        I then tried to find any example of when trickle down worked and… I couldn’t. The Kansas Experiment was a rousing failure and then tried to look to Gary Johnson and his “success” as the governor of New Mexico where he cut and never once raised taxes.

        This put the state in debt long term and he privatized a ton of industries like prisons which have had longstanding impacts on the state. I couldn’t find anything, not a single piece of honest to god evidence showed my opinions were right.

        If I am being completely honest, I had a full on panic attack in like 2020, coming from a mix of things to be fair but realizing I am wrong was part of it, because then it feels like reality and life itself are calling you stupid. I think a part of why I became a narcissist was my own mother would call me a retard when I was a kid and my teachers in high school bullied me, saying I’d never amount to anything. So my narcissism is like some kind of scar tissue that limits my range of emotion.

        After my panic attack, I met some other people in real life who were former conservatives and admitted they were wrong and kind of just came to get used to being wrong. That maybe being wrong isn’t a mark against you. Maybe you can just move on from it. Maybe sticking to your guns isn’t a sign of strength, but weakness?

        It’s a hard life man lmao.

        • Arcadeep@lemmy.world
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          4 hours ago

          thank you for sharing your experience and perspective on this! My mother is a narcissist but was never able to have that moment of realizing she was wrong about literally anything before driving away every single person in her life, so it’s extremely interesting to hear an ‘insider’ perspective, so to say.

          My view is that of course being wrong isn’t a mark against you. Nobody can just instinctively know or understand everything. If you need proof that being able to receive new information and adjust your views and opinions is a sign of strength, just think about how hard that is and how easy it is to shut out whatever doesn’t agree with you

    • RockBottom@feddit.org
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      14 hours ago

      So if humanity disagrees with a set of powerful narcissists, they will delete humanity. We should teach in schools that narcissism is genetic and humanity were better off without most of them.

      • captainlezbian@lemmy.world
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        8 hours ago

        Narcissism isn’t necessarily genetic, predisposition to it may be, but personality disorders seem to be caused by a combination of factors, with a major one being childhood experiences. Source My father has (unmanaged, but not particularly severe) NPD and I just wound up with CPTSD and no personality disorders. Same for all my siblings.

        In my uneducated opinion, a much better school based approach would be to keep an eye out for children displaying signs of personality disorders, possibly even screening for them, and then trying to help get them access to treatment from a young age so they can stop hurting themselves and others sooner

        • RockBottom@feddit.org
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          6 hours ago

          Declaring genetics as the main factor is pretty recent. But anyway, given the person you inherit it from is usually not far away, mother and/or father and or grandparent/grandparents, the non narcissist parent (if any) is fighting an impossible battle. Knowing about NPD particularities early on, might increase chances, though.

  • Obituarykidney@lemmy.world
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    17 hours ago

    I delete stuff if I was objectively wrong. If people just disagree with me I’ll leave it up, I don’t care about fake internet points.

    I deleted everything on Reddit because fuck Reddit, website doesn’t deserve my content. I even got dms complaining about nuking my solutions to questions in gaming and the blender subreddit, but I just told them to leave reddit too lol.

    • lost_faith@lemmy.ca
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      6 hours ago

      I even got dms complaining about nuking my solutions to questions in gaming and the blender subreddit, but I just told them to leave reddit too lol.

      Tell em the answers are here now ;)

  • Tyrq@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    18 hours ago

    A little mantra I like is

    Don’t believe everything you think

    Sometimes I come to that realization after I’ve hit the post button, and whatever I’ve said is either a dumb take or needlessly antagonistic. We already get so little free will, no need to throw away the bit we get just to be a stupid asshole.

    • ABetterTomorrow@sh.itjust.works
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      11 hours ago

      I agree but I have a curve ball question.

      When you come to the point, why not edit the post/comment to “I don’t agree with my original post/comment” or “I step away corrected”. Another take about information: “I have come to a realization that I was wrong and find someone’s comment [insert link] or this is the correct info [insert correct info is source link]”.

      I ask this because I do the same as you but would this be a example of progression for ourselves and others? Is that a culture to have or do we naturally do that on our own paths?

      • Tyrq@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        9 hours ago

        Fair question, I guess it just depends on how I feel that day and whether or not it’s even worth engaging with even myself about it rather than expunge the dumb thought from existance. I don’t necessarily forget it, but the feels linger if I leave it hanging, and I only get so much time on this planet.

        I guess it’s just easier to delete it and move on with my life and the next time I come across the thought I approach it differently for everyone’s sake.

        I like to think I’m okay with being wrong, but just like every interaction, it goes smoother if I don’t need to backtrack and regain the trust of my interlocutor. Mulling on it myself instead of with someone I’ve already pissed off is probably more productive. I guess that’s also part of the learning curve.

        • ABetterTomorrow@sh.itjust.works
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          2 hours ago

          These rang true to me.

          I guess it’s just easier to delete it and move on

          I like to think I’m okay with being wrong

          Thank you for sharing!

          This is what comes to mind for me every time I do so. Lately I’ve just feel obligated to try to do something different, like what I asked to you. Maybe it could be a way to not do bad comments at least.

    • Uli@sopuli.xyz
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      17 hours ago

      You also shouldn’t believe everything that you breathe, or you’ll get a parking violation with a maggot on your sleeve.

  • Hadriscus@jlai.lu
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    11 hours ago

    When I’m proven wrong and I deem the post more harmful than useful by its continued presence. But it’s super rare, I am frequently right

    (/s)