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Beep@lemmus.org to memes@lemmy.worldEnglish · 20 hours ago

You after wiping your ass for the 27th time and still see shit

va.media.tumblr.com

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You after wiping your ass for the 27th time and still see shit

va.media.tumblr.com

Beep@lemmus.org to memes@lemmy.worldEnglish · 20 hours ago
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  • remon@ani.social
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    15 hours ago

  • Agent641@lemmy.world
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    14 hours ago

    Wiping more just turns the paper red instead of brown

  • the_artic_one@piefed.social
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    10 hours ago

    Bidets are cool but y’all need to eat more fiber.

  • TigerAce@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    17 hours ago

    Install a bidet. They’re 20 bucks, it’s a spray nozzle on a hose, they’re awesome. Saw them on holiday in Cambodia everywhere, installed one when I got home, have zero regrets.

    • FBJimmy@lemmus.org
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      17 hours ago

      Sure, BUT, don’t just connect it to the cold water supply - they need proper isolation - I’ve heard of cases where households have gotten really sick and they found that bacteria from the bum gun had made it back to the drinking water.

      • surewhynotlem@lemmy.world
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        15 hours ago

        What? How would that even work? The nozzle gets dirty and the bacteria propagate three feet up the tube against occasional water flow and into the main pipe?

        • FauxLiving@lemmy.world
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          9 hours ago

          I’d imagine something like a guest bathroom that is rarely used so the bacteria have time to multiply and diffuse up the water pipe. Or develop a biofilm on the pipe walls that isn’t removed by running water (to see this effect leave a dish of water out for a few days so it feels slimy then try to rinse it with water)

          I don’t think this is likely at all, but I could understand how it could come about in some niche situations.

      • TigerAce@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        13 hours ago

        You’re not supposed to use them as a douche. You should spray it against your anus, not insert it.

        Honestly, I don’t know how that would work. When I spray, the nozzle doesn’t get wet from ricochet. My hand, button and nozzle stay dry except for the tiny holes where the water comes out.

        • JGrffn@lemmy.world
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          10 hours ago

          Douching master race. Moved and my bidet no longer has the necessary pressure for douching and I’m back to being the guy from OP’s meme. Don’t know about inserting anything anywhere tho, the right amount of water pressure, maybe with the right angles, and you’re good to go.

          Even then, I see no way for water to go back up the bidet line and contaminate stuff elsewhere. Its like expecting faucets to contaminate things upstream when you wash your hands, it kinda makes no sense, at least to me.

      • CompactFlax@discuss.tchncs.de
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        16 hours ago

        Backflow preventers are a thing. I’d never considered it for a bidet but it makes sense.

    • SwifferWetjet@thelemmy.club
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      16 hours ago

      It’s tough kid, but it’s life? Don’t forget to pack a wife?

      • swab148@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        15 hours ago

        Downvoters don’t get the reference

        • SwifferWetjet@thelemmy.club
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          14 hours ago

          I get called unc on the regular for exactly this kinda shit I swear😭

  • Dead_or_Alive@lemmy.world
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    14 hours ago

    Get yourself a proper heated bidet and you’ll never go back. I bought a Toto it warms the seat, automatically shoots soothing warm water at your angry brown eye and then blow dry’s your bum.

    Best purchase ever!

    • HulkSmashBurgers@reddthat.com
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      11 hours ago

      Recently went to Japan for work and my hotel had one of these so I got to try it out.

      It’s my belief that you haven’t experienced the best life has to offer until you’ve had your butthole powerwashed. It was a trancsendental experience for me.

      • EldenLord@lemmy.world
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        10 hours ago

        Seconded.

        Once you splash yo crack, you’ll never go back.

    • hateisreality@lemmy.world
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      13 hours ago

      Hell a cold water bidet will change your life too

  • SimoCo10@lemmy.world
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    15 hours ago

    And thinking about the amount of paper used, praying that is not going to be clogged

    • [deleted]@piefed.world
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      14 hours ago

      Flush every few wipes to reduce the chance.

      • Garbagio@lemmy.zip
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        10 hours ago

        Sometimes I’m on my phone while wiping a streaky one and lose track of the amount of paper used.

        • [deleted]@piefed.world
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          10 hours ago

          Flush early, flush often.

  • criss_cross@lemmy.world
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    12 hours ago

    Is that the dude that played professor X in the newer X-men movies?

    • BlueFootedPetey@sh.itjust.works
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      11 hours ago

      Yep

  • squirrel@piefed.zip
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    19 hours ago

    Stop wiping and use a portable bidet. You’ll never go back to wiping.

    • 🇰 🌀 🇱 🇦 🇳 🇦 🇰 🇮 @pawb.social
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      19 hours ago

      Portable bidet

    • WIZARD POPE💫@lemmy.world
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      18 hours ago

      Okay we have a bidet at home but even when I use it I still need to wipe after. Is it supposed to pressure wash your ass or what exactly am I supposeed to do when using it.

      • squirrel@piefed.zip
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        15 hours ago

        Is it supposed to pressure wash your ass

        Yes. I only use toilet paper afterwards to dry everything.

        • WIZARD POPE💫@lemmy.world
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          15 hours ago

          I tried that but it just does not clean that well it seems. The toilet paper gets dirty

          • CannonFodder@lemmy.world
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            14 hours ago

            You maybe have a shitty bidet, or its settings need to be adjusted .
            Also there’s a bit of technique - you gotta move around a bit; work the spray around to get everything.

            • WIZARD POPE💫@lemmy.world
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              13 hours ago

              It’s a standalone one

              • Cataphract@lemmy.ml
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                12 hours ago

          • scytale@piefed.zip
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            14 hours ago

            Use your hands and wash with soap. Then use toilet paper to pat dry afterwards. That’s what I do and you can’t get any cleaner than that.

            • WIZARD POPE💫@lemmy.world
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              12 hours ago

              I only do that in severe cases

      • surewhynotlem@lemmy.world
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        15 hours ago

        pressure wash your ass

        Yes. It shouldn’t take that much pressure.

        • WIZARD POPE💫@lemmy.world
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          15 hours ago

          But it does not clean that well.

          • surewhynotlem@lemmy.world
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            11 hours ago

            Maybe you have low water pressure? It should feel like a tiny hose.

            • FauxLiving@lemmy.world
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              9 hours ago

              Yeah, low water pressure would be my guess.

              Water can cut through steel plate at high enough pressure. It can certainly remove poop from a butt with enough pressure.

      • CyberEgg@discuss.tchncs.de
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        16 hours ago

        You’re just not supposed to doomscroll on the toilet until everything is dried and has to be scraped off.

        • WIZARD POPE💫@lemmy.world
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          15 hours ago

          I don’t usually spend more than 5 minjtes shitting so…

  • 48954246@lemmy.world
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    18 hours ago

    Eat more fibre

  • plant@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    12 hours ago

    You get what you deserve

  • Mistress Remilia@lemmy.cyberia9.org
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    19 hours ago

    laughs in bidet

  • ScrollerBall@lemmy.world
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    16 hours ago

    https://m.youtube.com/shorts/Q2Ko78NEI9A

  • Tollana1234567@lemmy.today
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    19 hours ago

    constipation perhaps.

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