Idk if this counts as crazy but one day a guy went up to me and said “hey I’m about to smoke meth. Its probably going to smell so you can change seats if you want to.” And then I did and that was basically it.

I watched a guy chug a bottle of orange Listerine, ramble incoherently for ten minutes, then proceeded to have uncontrollable diarrhea all over the seat before getting off the train.

A very intoxicated man explained at length to my friend and me that we should stay in school instead of dropping out to join the military like he did. He wasn’t wrong.

some guy sat across from me and started screaming at me how beautiful my boots were and what a removed i was. then went into this long story about how he’d be rich like me if his bitch mom hadn’t stolen his dad’s money. then he went on about his dreadlocks being beautiful and perfect and he’ll cut anyone who calls it cultural appropriation.

nobody had said a word to this guy, he just went off for one stop then got off to change cars probably to go tell the same weird nutbag rant to the next subway car.

Not my story, but it’s so good I have to share it: my classmate told me about how she was on a bus and some guy was arguing with the bus driver about fare or something, and the bus driver just gets up, takes off his bus driver vest thing, and fucking walks off the job! She said everyone on the bus was like WTF. Then when she left the bus and went to another bus stop to try to get home the driver was also just waiting at that stop, because obviously he drove the bus there and had no other way to get anywhere 😂

On the NYC subway a guy was taking up two seats, he pulls out a notebook and starts (screaming) reading from it. It was all about some conspiracy that got him kicked out of Columbia University. People started moving away from him. At the next stop a guy gets on the train and says to “hey psycho you really need two seats” the crazy guy slides over freeing up one of the seats and then goes back to yelling.

Nothing that crazy I guess, but two events I remember:

• A small fire broke out next to the tracks and the train driver actually stopped the train and got out to extinguish it

• A train busker played so loudly and terribly that a group of random passengers got together to shove him out of the train at the next station.

I was sat opposite a woman who had a grocery bag filled to the brim with crisps packets, or so it seemed. She started out just munching on crisps, mouth fully open, shoving her hands in there. She emptied two packs in between two stops (metro). Efficient.

When she had enough she started rumaging frantically through her bag for a solid 20 seconds, and then triumphantly dug out a can of whipped cream (squirty cream format for my UK friends), opened it, and just emptied the whole thing in her mouth in one go!

It was in France, of all fucking places.

I’ve had to administer noloxone twice on the subway (once was on the platform)

A dude approached me letting me know he was the Blue Elf, he was dressed in a childish vibrant flat colors, but nothing too out of the ordinary. He told me he was an artist traveling for an exchange and that he was known for giving away blue puzzle pieces, of which he gave me one. Said goodbye a couple of stops later. He left me utterly confounded. Once home, I looked it up on the Internet and confirmed all his story…

In Halifax, two teenage girls talking on the bus. One girl was describing how her boyfriend fucks her. Very graphic.

In addition to some junkie/alkie shenanigans I saw an immigrant started praying on his Muslim mat in front of the train doors. Dude started raving when someone stepped on his mat trying to get out. I remember everyone just looking around confused over the idiocy of it all

I watched a lady bring a small dead bird in a ziploc onto the Metro in Montreal and then proceed to pluck its feathers onto the floor.

and we aren’t talking about your game hen or a quail here or something. I’m lalking about a fucking sparrow or something like that.

Some tweaker was huffing compressed air cans, but the kind that have the bittering agent to discourage people from huffing. The stuff got into the air and was very unpleasant for everyone. I had to get off at the next stop and wait for another train, I couldn’t breathe.