Thinking about a conversation I was having with an acquaintance years ago. He was a friend of a friend and we were talking about food. I forget the exact phrasing but I brought up loving avocados. He said “what’s that?” I was a bit surprised and explained. He responded “OH thats crazy I thought that was one of those made up words”. The statement was like a flashbang I had to contemplate for a few minutes. PERSONAL STORIES ONLY, DO NOT INCLUDE A STATEMENT FROM A CELEBRITY OR POLITICIAN.
“You’re an atheist because you want to rebel against God!” - My mother 😭
I’m sorry if that was upsetting to you to hear, but that’s actually sick as fuck and a way cooler reason to be atheist than just cuz religion is implausible
Oh, no worries, I was more incredulous than upset. We had talked about religion at length over the years and even managed to nudge her away from organized religion at this point (thank god). I thought she understood where I was coming from, and then out of the blue, she tells me this on the rare occasion we argued, and I’m speechless.
Okay fine personal one’s first:
- I once overheard someone saying it was hard to go left on a round about because the entrance slopes right…. As in they were not using a round about like a round about. (Tbf the round about in question was originally an intersection that was poorly modified into a roundabout)
- I had a psychopathic roommate who, when I called him on it, flat out admitted that given a choice between killing himself or thousands of others he’d choose the mass murder option. I also once asked him if he thought slavery was morally acceptable and his response was “if it would benefit me then yeah.”
Famous Quote I originally put because I didn’t read the whole post before commenting lol
“Darwin realized that animals are far less likely to reproduce when they’re dead” -Philomena Cunk
Stunned because I was expecting nonsense, but ended up hearing what is now my favorite description of evolution ever. It just makes evolution seem entirely obvious, like it’s stupid we took so long to make that realization.
I love philomena and can’t believe I haven’t heard that one, do you know offhand where it’s from so I can fix that?
Unfortunately not for certain, but I’m guessing it’s somewhere in the “Cunk on Earth” documentary series
What’s up?
There’s always something coming out of this goddamn administration. Pick one.
I think they are saying the post above yours stunned them.
My boss, her boss, her boss’s boss, the big boss (who reports to the CEO) and I are on a meeting last week.
At the beginning of the meeting there were some pleasantries being shared. The big boss shared her kid was going to be featured in some large chess tournament
My boss replies “that’s great. What kind of chess does he play?”
I was shocked because there is only one type of chess just like there is only one type of checkers. Yes I know there is 4-d chess, Star Trek chess, and chess game variants. But typically there is only one type of chess.
The big boss answers “You know chess. He is a grand master.”
My boss replies “Grand master. Does that mean he is a performing magician?”
I sat there looking at my screen in shock. My boss had not idea what grand masters are.
The big boss had to explain the chess grand masters to her.
A neighbor told me that all foreigners should be deported from Germany.
She clarified (after I asked) that when someone is born in Germany to parents who immigrated legally, never visited their parents’ home country, only spoke German, and had a job here, they’re still a foreigner and should be deported.She was born in Romania and had immigrated 5 years ago.
I have a migrant co-worker who shared his opinion that migrants should be deported back to their home countries.
I don’t want him to explain.
i have had similar arguments, in the US. I welcome immigration. One of my grandfathers was famous for fighting the western expansion and our tribe is famous for being the only people to make the US Army sign a declaration of defeat but the killings of people on the Oregon trail was our failure. People with purpose will always move and fighting it is welcoming disaster. finding ways to coexist is what we should be focusing on. Trying to relieve suffering is what should be our end goal.
so when people tell me or other native Americans, we should go back to my country. We can’t, it’s gone. the rez isn’t a country. it’s a small safety net to hold off the erasure of our culture. there’s just the US now and we have to make it more welcoming for those that need to find a place.
only death and suffering will come from closed borders and isolation. stagnant culture and ignorance. hatred of the outsiders. it’s just a losing battle and the Lakota won their fight but they lost the battle because they didn’t understand the numbers of people who were willing to brave the risks of immigration
I’ve never understood the anti-immigrant sentiment in the U.S. Except for the indigenous, everyone is a product of immigration.
No shit. People be dumb.
The mind boggles, my co-worker is always going on about foreigners coming over here and taking British peoples jobs,…he’s polish
I feel sorry for your neighbor.
The abused perpetuate abuse is the likely story here.
I’m having a conversation with a family member. Somehow the topic of firefighters comes up. She pauses, looks very thoughtful for a moment, then asks, “Do you not like firefighters, either?”
“What? Why would I not like firefighters?”
“Like how you don’t like police.”
She knows me well. I boggle at how my distaste for cops could be this misunderstood.
No one becomes a firefighter because they enjoy wielding authority over other people
FWIW, some become firefighters because they enjoy lighting things on fire. The correlation between firefighters and arsonists is very strong. But even then, nobody (except maybe some cops) has ever seen firefighters roll up to a scene and thought “well my day just got worse.”
I boggle at how my distaste for cops could be this misunderstood.
Emergency response is emergency response. Tell us how you hate ambulances upsetting the commute.
Fuck SAR. Did you ever ask whether those people want to be found?
I had a girlfriend many years ago who asked me to disconnect the ventilation fan in her bathroom. When I asked why, she said, and I quote “That’s for people who smell when they go to the bathroom”.
This fellow human was literally telling me her shit don’t stink. I was flabbergasted…
LOL. Meanwhile I’m scheming to replace the switch in their bathroom with a motion sensor, because my housemates will just routinely stink up the entire hallway and shuffle back to bed. Like the switch is RIGHT THERE?! C’MON‽
Using them for that is fine, but they are for getting the humid air out when you shower/bath!
Awesome
Years ago I was talking with a pregnant coworker about our families. We got onto the subject of how quiet I am. She said “I would hate it if my daughter turned out to be like you.” I was just stunned tbh. Like damn, I can’t help it that I’m quiet. Why is that such a bad thing?
sounds like that coworker likes to be center of attention. its definitely a passive aggressive statement, shes basically saying a “loner with no social skills, probably a wierdo because you arnt social, and saying her daughter wont grow up to be a loser”. its the same as saying “no offense” but say something offense to you.
Quiet people serve as a mirror to people who can’t shut up. That becomes uncomfortable for people who don’t like what they see.
Look at how the extroverts lost their minds during covid lockdown.
Yeah, the lockdown was enlightening. I lived alone through the entire two year shutdown. I still saw coworkers (because I was working for the government and forced to come into the office) but that was the entire extent of my in-person socialization. And I was perfectly content with that. I’d hop on Discord with some friends after work, and would socialize all night long. On the weekends, if I was playing a single player game, I could easily go two and a half days (Friday evening into Monday morning) without saying a single word.
But extroverts lost their goddamned minds. Half of them were power-walking in the overcrowded local park, even though they had never visited the park before. They just wanted an excuse to leave the house. The other half were ripping their houses down to the studs and completely rebuilding the interiors… Because they never spent any time at home until that point, and suddenly small annoyances about their living areas built up to major complaints. Half of them were rallying against masks, just because conservatives were promising a return to normalcy.
I’m sorry, but comparing yourself to actually physically isolated people while you were seeing people in person at work is wild. Humans are social creatures! I too loved the privacy and peace that came with covid, but if you saw people live and in person at work, you have no idea what it was like to actually quarantine at home with only screen people for companionship. It messes with your head.
What happened with the lockdowns and immediately after made believe being an extrovert is the result of failing to fully develop a working theory of mind.
It does seem like a lot of the world is still paying for that though. (“the world is a little safer if you wear a mask” -> votes far right to protect their freedom)
That reminds me of a time I was in a small party. I said something to my friend and a girl suddenly excitedly said “YAY! You speak as well!” That shut me up for the rest of the evening lol. I didn’t know how to respond to that, I didn’t even finish saying what I was saying to my friend.
I’ve always been the quiet one. I’ve always been fine with being the quiet one, I kind of like to listen to people. But when she said that, I got very confused and it sort of bothered me for a bit. Not for long though, I decided that she was the weird one.
My response to that has always been, “Yeah, but I don’t blurt out whatever stupid shit rattles around in my head.”
Real foot in her mouth moment
Edit: ITT: Lemmings in denile that their personal problems are mostly due to their lack of social skills, not capitalism.
Because being “a quiet person” almost universally indicates some kind of problem that is or is going to hold you back in life. It usually indicates that you have social anxiety, poorly developed social skills, have a negative outlook and disposition, have little confidence in yourself or your opinions, are just plain dumb or dull, some other weird thing, or some combination of the above.
Being “introverted” is a typical excuse quiet people use. But the actual definition of introversion just means you have a greater affinity for alone time - not that you rarely speak in social situations. Being quiet is corrolated with being introverted - if you have a larger affinity for alone time, you will likely practice socializing less frequently, leading to less confidence, leading to a greater aversion to social situations, which can become a viscuous cycle. But this is a skill issue, not an intrinsic character trait, and people with greater introversion can and do excell in any number of social situations all the time.
Meanwhile, being a “quiet person” will hamstring you in basically every aspect of life. Humans are social animals, and being able to socialize effectively is one of the biggest advantages you can have.
Want to get good grades in school? Well teachers are more willing to give you a break or extra help if they know you because you talk to them. Other classmates are more willing to form study groups with you. You’ll have a better chance of forming a team with the smartest kids for class projects.
Want to excell in your career? It helps if you are a chatterbox who interviews well. It helps if you love meeting new people in your industry and form a big network of people who like you. It helps if you can have a fun conversation with your boss, or your boss’s boss, or your boss’s boss’s boss’s boss. So you really still believe, in this day and age, that if you quietly keep your head down and get your work done better than everyone else, that you will be first in line for raises and promotions? No! Your ability to perform useful tasks quickly means that you probably won’t get fired - but mostly because it means that they expect that they’ll be able to save on the budget, since you’ll never have the courage to ask for anything more than an inflation raise. And being promoted is mostly about giving you authority over others - and who the fuck is going to respect the authority of someone who never speaks and can’t hold anyone’s eye contact?
Want to have friends? A large and diverse social group who can support you in times of need? Help you fix your car, give you a couch to crash on, give you career advice, invite you to join in fun new hobbies, give you a sense of warmth and community, and be your emotional support system when your whole life goes sideways? Well guess what? Most people only really care about someone else if they know that person, and the primary way you know a person is by listening to them talk about things. Sure, as a quiet person you will probably gain a small group of close friends who you actually can speak freely with - but someone who speaks freely with everyone will have 10x the social connections or more. A quiet and reserved person can lean on their circle of a half dozen friends in time of need. A social, charismatic person can get help from someone they met once, ten years ago, in a different country. And even if the quiet person truly loves their small circle of friends - life happens. People get busy with jobs, or kids. They move to different places. They change their priorities in life. People die. Friend circles which aren’t consistently adding new members tend to dwindle over time, and you could very easily end up completely alone if you never developed the skill of meeting new people and developing relationships with them.
And dating? I don’t care if you want a white picket fence and a golden retriever, or want to blow your load on a different pair of titties every night of the week - quiet people get fucked in dating. Wait. No. The opposite of that… Yeah, they typically aren’t getting fucked. At least not by the people they want. Forget about any talk of “game” or charisma - the biggest factor in dating success is literally just the number of attractive strangers you say “hi” to. If you have a hard time going up to a stranger and saying “hi”, if you join a conversation by entering the circle and then never say a word, or if you rarely show up to social events where there are new people present, then your pool of potential dates will be extremely limited solely because you can’t end up dating someone that you never say a word to. And beyond playing the numbers game - hey guys, what do women want? Everyone say it with me - CONFIDENCE. Okay, so how is any given woman going to know you are confident? Probably by the fact that you walk into a social situation smiling and eager to talk to people, because you are confident that people will like you, and you are confident that meeting new people will be fun. And girls - ya know when you see the guy who shows up to the party and everyone cheers when he walks in? The guy who has amazing hair and a hot body and who spends his weekends taking disadvantaged urban youth on backpacking trips? Sure, maybe he’ll take a shine to you and have a fling, and maybe that will turn into something long term - but if he’s looking for a girlie to be a long term partner, who is he getting obsessed with? Probably the girl who is dashing around the room squeeling with joy every time a new person arrives and giving them a huge hug, the girl who is excitedly talking about her hobbies, job, or emotional revelations to a circle of smiling friends and acquaintances, the girl who is grabbing people and dragging them onto the dance floor to get the party started. Sure, statistically everyone finds someone, eventually… but the people who are having a good time and getting compliments from their friends about their amazing new partner, are going to be the people who talk a lot to a lot of people.
This isn’t to say that quiet people can’t be happy, can’t have friends or partners, or can’t succeed in life. And maybe someone will say that this whole analysis is shallow and misguided, and that pursuing any of these things by opening their mouth and speaking more would be a betrayal of their deep inner self or something. But this is kind of like choosing to be homeless because getting any kind of job would be a betrayal of the cause of overthrowing the capitalists and creating a utopian society. Like, if you really feel that way, I guess I can’t change your mind - but its not the life I would choose for myself, and I can understand why someone wouldn’t want it for their child.
it will hold you back in life
not to say they cant be happy and successful tho
ok
All things being equal, someone who is able and willing to converse normally will get more of what they want out of life than someone who is not.
Some of us are quiet because we’ve learned the value of thinking before we speak.
This is basically a masturbatory defence mechanism - claiming that an obvious flaw is actually an asset. I’m not saying you should just vomit out every word that comes into your head. But this kind of statement implies that there are the oh-so-very-smart-and-thoughtful quiet people, stoicly listening in their wise wisdom, and then the loud, vulgar idiots who endlessly blather on. They probably eat fast food and watch reality tv, too.
But… no. Being thoughtful and choosing your words carefully, being kind, understanding what other people are saying before you speak. That’s all great. That doesn’t mean you’re “quiet”. Thoughtful people will still interject with their own views, ask followup questions, or push back on things they disagree with. All of which require speaking - and so if you do these things regularly, you won’t be “that quiet person who never speaks”
Some of us are quiet because we’re listening. I’ve made some very solid friendships that way.
I’m an extrovert and while some of what you’ve said has merit you’re really overstating it. I’ve had plenty of quiet people in my life who are more successful than me. Meanwhile my mom and I with our shared ability to chat with most people and keep talking for hours on end have faced plenty of struggles due to our shared difficulties with not doing that.
Though I will concede you are right in that it’s really good at getting you laid.
Also it’s just rude as hell to tell someone you hope your kid doesn’t turn out like them.
I mean, knowing when not to talk is a skill, too.
And (supposing we’re talking about income or wealth as the metric for success) I’m not saying no given quiet person can be more successful than a talkative person. But all things being equal, the person who is more confident and at ease talking to others and making connections will be more successful.
Also it’s just rude as hell to tell someone you hope your kid doesn’t turn out like them.
I don’t disagree
On the other hand some people could stand to say a little less.
I don’t disagree
Completely accurate no notes. My introversion has nothing to do with the social anxiety that cripples my social life.
Still, pretty tactless to blurt that out to OP.
I don’t disagree. Very tactless.
Talking to a relative about people in his retirement community, he told me “A lot of the people here can’t afford health insurance on their fixed incomes. If something happens to them, they just die.” And, as I was thinking how horrible that was, he switched gears to “Did you hear about how those democrats want to try and mess with healthcare again? I swear they won’t be happy until I’m broke!”
A few years ago, I’m having lunch with a friend, we’re talking about how bitcoin is all over the news. He then asked me, “Where are these mines they make those in?” We’ve both worked in high tech for many years.
a couple weeks ago my partner said something to the effect that i’ve always improved since she’s known me. it surprised and really touched me and i couldn’t help but cry a bit every time i thought about it for days afterward. i don’t usually think very highly of myself, and that just really cut me to the core (in a good way).
I said something similar to my wife just a few days ago. She amazes me every day. I may not know you, but your clearly partner sees you like I see my wife, and I am so damn proud of her. I’m proud of you, too.
Nice to see a positive surprise in the thread.
Thats positive, I like it! You’re doing well!
About 10 minutes ago my plumber said my problem may cost in the neighborhood of $30k to fix. Yay.
I had a small plumbing leak that cost me $700 to fix. There was some water damage but insurance will cover it.
The cost to remove the water - $10k The cost to rebuild after the water leak - $60k
The way our floor was laid makes it impossible to fix just the affected area. They need to tear up the entire kitchen, living room, and hallways.
Six weeks of construction and while they are tearing up the kitchen we have no fridge.
we have a similar situation with our shower, it would likely cost 10s of thousands to fix it, because water is leaking somewhere and its not really accessible.
Fridge is just a standard plug usually, move it and plug it somewhere else?
Time to contact more plumbers for estimates.
Instructions unclear. I now have 30000 plumber appointments
Dayum. What’s the issue?
Sewer line is sagging, so there’s a 30ft section that is trapping anything that gets flushed or drained. I called them out to fix a backup, and they found why it backed up alright.
He had to leave to get a better locator to see exactly where in the yard/street would need to be dug up, but it seems to be pretty close to the city connection, so probably in or near the street, which could make the cost that high if it involves excavating the road.
Oof. Where I live, if the problem is within four? feet of the city’s main line the city takes responsibility for fixing it. Bad luck, cousin.
Replacing a small section of sewer line costs 30k? That sounds absurd.
shouldnt that be on the cities dime?
Do you have insurance that covers it?
Ye olde septic system finally quit?
Someone’s dear wife of many years suggested they turn an unused basement room into a sex dungeon/playroom and if it gets boring after 10 years, invite other couples over too.
Someone’s having a fun life
I don’t think “Toilet Flush Shower Scream” has a right to complain
Someone has always had excellent plumbing :)
this happened to me with siblings growing up in a trailer with 2 bathrooms sharing a wall.
Well, when I tried to explain in a privacy community that ditching WhatsApp is nearly impossible in Brazil, then the guy answered me with “either you’re a part of the problem, or you’re a part of the solution”.
If you boycott Meta as a tourist in Chile, you can’t access bus schedules or buy a ticket, book accommodation, or hail a cab.
In many bars and restaurants, you can’t even look at the menu.You can’t access gov app in Brazil, they ask for confirmation message via WhatsApp and if you click on “I don’t have WhatsApp” they redirect you to PlayStore to download it.
So what can I do…
What do you need a govt app for? What do you do with it?
Social benefits like small income due to autism or things like that. I don’t apply for it but that’s why people need
He did get you there
My sister and I were chit chatting about our kids and their milestones, etc. Super normal type of conversation, especially for us since we don’t get along well to begin with and we try to stick to topics that aren’t inflammatory. The topic of what age we were when we started menstruating came up.
She stopped me mid-sentence in order to correct me about what age I was when I started my period. Not her age, she stopped me to correct my own retelling of my own personal history because “she remembered better”.
It was one of the only times I told her to her face that she was being rude.
Thats wild
